Have I totally failed this kid, and WWYD??

[StaceyinLA]

I have to admit that I feel like I've totally failed 17yodd. For those who've read previous posts, this is the one that wants to go to Cosmetology school. I don't believe I have failed her because of that - she really LOVES every aspect of the field and is working in salons and loving it.

 

Here's the deal though - this is technically her senior year. She still needs some Algebra I to finish Algebra, has done NO Chemistry (am struggling with which program to use just to squeeze one in), needs Geometry & a business math, some ec/gov't and more writing. She is strong in grammar/vocabulary, has done well in the sciences she has taken, and has covered a lot of World History (not so much US though).

 

This child holds down a job, and is now going to hold down 2 part-time jobs at 2 salons (one in which she may have the potential to apprentice her way into a cosmetology license with a very well-known stylist/artist in the nearby city). She is very sure of what she wants to do and is quite responsible about getting up and to work on time, etc.

 

I know what 2 part-time jobs will do to her school time. It will be a struggle to get it all in. At the same time, I want her to pursue what she wants since she actually KNOWS it.

 

WWYD with this??

 

Also, if I'm just going to try and get her some stuff to get by, how is Key to Geometry? Also, is Conceptual Chemistry totally lacking? Obviously she isn't going to need too much of either, but I'd like her to at least be able to go into the CC at some point if she wants to, even though it isn't looking like that now.

 

Other option is GED. The Cosmetology schools are going to ask that she have it anyway because the licensing board requires it. I know I could probably fight it but I'm not sure if it's worth it if she WANTS this. It would make admission to the cc easier down the road as well...

 

HELP!! I'm in a panic. What would you do?

[Jann in TX]

What about letting her study for her GED so she can move on--since cosmetology school requires a diploma or GED and she does not have the credits for the diploma...

 

I'm having similar struggles with my oldest dd. I'm coming to grips with the reality that a traditional 'high school' education is not for her. My dd will NOT be taking Geometry--she will at least get through Algebra 2 (she has been working on it for over a year--and she is about half-way now). When I 'graduate' her she will have 2 science credits and 2 history credits. Probably 2-3 English credits. She will complete her home 'education' at about the 10th grade level. This is MORE than she would have attained at the PS due to the way she learns. She will be 18 next week... and will start her first job...

 

I've thought about letting DD study for her GED--but she desires to go to the CC to get certified in some medical-related field--so instead of preparing her for her GED I will prepare her to pass the community college's placement tests.

 

Why not let your dd study for the GED--while she prepares you can enrich her 'studies' with little 'extras'. Here are a few that I'm planning on doing with my dd this school year: watch science shows, Shakespeare plays, history channel...read a few good books WITH her and discuss them, give her a brief course in government/citizenship --use the election this fall as a 'spine'...teach her how to budget (now that she FINALLY has a job) and how to 'run' a household. We have been doing some of this already--but now since we only have one more year--I'm trying to make one last 'push' as my little girl turns into a woman!

 

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED YOUR DAUGHTER... and I have NOT FAILED MINE! Our children are special and just because they do not fit into the standard 'mold' does not mean they are failures--or that we have failed.

[Brindee]

What about letting her study for her GED so she can move on--since cosmetology school requires a diploma or GED and she does not have the credits for the diploma...

 

I'm having similar struggles with my oldest dd. I'm coming to grips with the reality that a traditional 'high school' education is not for her. My dd will NOT be taking Geometry--she will at least get through Algebra 2 (she has been working on it for over a year--and she is about half-way now). When I 'graduate' her she will have 2 science credits and 2 history credits. Probably 2-3 English credits. She will complete her home 'education' at about the 10th grade level. This is MORE than she would have attained at the PS due to the way she learns. She will be 18 next week... and will start her first job...

 

I've thought about letting DD study for her GED--but she desires to go to the CC to get certified in some medical-related field--so instead of preparing her for her GED I will prepare her to pass the community college's placement tests.

 

Why not let your dd study for the GED--while she prepares you can enrich her 'studies' with little 'extras'. Here are a few that I'm planning on doing with my dd this school year: watch science shows, Shakespeare plays, history channel...read a few good books WITH her and discuss them, give her a brief course in government/citizenship --use the election this fall as a 'spine'...teach her how to budget (now that she FINALLY has a job) and how to 'run' a household. We have been doing some of this already--but now since we only have one more year--I'm trying to make one last 'push' as my little girl turns into a woman!

 

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED YOUR DAUGHTER... and I have NOT FAILED MINE! Our children are special and just because they do not fit into the standard 'mold' does not mean they are failures--or that we have failed.

:iagree: TOTALLY with Jann! Nothing more for me to say. (Though I might think of something later! ;) )

[StaceyinLA]

I could've done more with her. It's just that we kind of let her job take over last year and she really didn't cover the material she needed to - now she's just lagging behind.

 

I know she CAN do the work. I just don't know if I should demand it since she is so sure of what she wants to do (and it really doesn't require any of that).

 

I just don't know if I want her to have the GED stigma, because I KNOW it's a stigma for many people.

 

Of course, at this point she is 17 years old and can really do whatever she wants as far as the schooling (legally). I think I'll just have to have a serious discussion with her about everything.

 

She can't file for FAFSA for this year though so starting the cosmetology school is out. She may be able to start that apprenticeship though, which she'd love to do because she can earn $ while she learns.

 

So many tough decisions...

[Jann in TX]

Once your dd has her cosmetology license/certificate she will move beyond her GED/diploma status. When asked about the highest level of education she has she can answer with that.

 

I tutor for a very wealthy family. BOTH parents have their GEDs...didn't seem to stop them from being self-made millionaires!

[EKS]

Have you asked her what she wants to do? Tell her the pros and cons of each decision as you see it and lay out what she would need to do to get a high school diploma (even if it means taking an extra year or whatever). Then see what she thinks.

[Laura K (NC)]

I would have a look at what has been done in the years of high school so far, and what she plans to be doing in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and so on. What tools will she need to do the jobs she wants to do? If she is good at what she does and driven, she may want to own stores. She would benefit from some business math and other business courses. If she gets married and has kids she will never have the freedom she does now to get an education, so I would impress upon her that now is the perfect time to be working toward an education. With a GED she can get a business administration associates degree. From there, later, it won't matter what she did (or didn't do) in high school if she wants to get more education.

 

I would be very hesitant to let a 17yo close off opportunities for herself because of a job. I think the job and the classes might be complementary. As she learns more, she will be more comfortable with her work. As she works more, she will be able to apply that practical knowledge to her studies and get more out of them.

 

FWIW, I have a friend whose twins are 18 this year and starting their senior year in high school. They're taking a lot of AP classes. They are in such great shape educationally because their mom held them back. I think they'll be 19 when they graduate high school. Another friend of mine graduated a 19yo also. At 17, your daughter, though legally able to be independent and done with school, can benefit so much from further education. In NC, that education in a tech school would be free. She will never have the opportunities she has now, and the discipline she might use to finish this up will go a long way in building her character.

 

Anyway, that's what I would do if she were my daughter.

[Liza Lee]

I would have a look at what has been done in the years of high school so far, and what she plans to be doing in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, and so on. What tools will she need to do the jobs she wants to do? If she is good at what she does and driven, she may want to own stores. She would benefit from some business math and other business courses. If she gets married and has kids she will never have the freedom she does now to get an education, so I would impress upon her that now is the perfect time to be working toward an education. With a GED she can get a business administration associates degree. From there, later, it won't matter what she did (or didn't do) in high school if she wants to get more education.

 

I would be very hesitant to let a 17yo close off opportunities for herself because of a job. I think the job and the classes might be complementary. As she learns more, she will be more comfortable with her work. As she works more, she will be able to apply that practical knowledge to her studies and get more out of them.

 

FWIW, I have a friend whose twins are 18 this year and starting their senior year in high school. They're taking a lot of AP classes. They are in such great shape educationally because their mom held them back. I think they'll be 19 when they graduate high school. Another friend of mine graduated a 19yo also. At 17, your daughter, though legally able to be independent and done with school, can benefit so much from further education. In NC, that education in a tech school would be free. She will never have the opportunities she has now, and the discipline she might use to finish this up will go a long way in building her character.

 

Anyway, that's what I would do if she were my daughter.

:iagree:

[tristangrace]

If she's living with you, can you require that she continue to work toward her high school diploma (at a much slower rate to accommodate her work schedule)? For a responsible 17yo, I think it makes sense to respect her career choices. For a dependent 17yo, I think it makes sense to require her to respect your wishes for her education. So maybe there is a way to honor both?!

 

Susan

[Chris in VA]

I would check to see what the cc requires for admission, even if going there is not in her immediate future. Some cc's don't require very much, and you can take "remedial" courses if you need to catch up.

 

I'd also see what's on the GED--IS there any chem? Why would she need it, anyway? Could she perhaps take three courses at the CC now? or even one? Perhaps a business math, a chem and another course to "fill in the gaps."

 

I would not let her job take over this year. It is quite common for people to switch jobs and even careers over their lifetimes. Why does she need to work 2 jobs? Why not just the one you feel may lead to an apprenticeship?

 

I usually go for the "third alternative." Some cc now might help her down the road, fulfull requirements, get you out of the mix, and allow her to at least say she's had some college, even if she gets her GED. The nice thing about cc classes is that she can do a whole year's work in one semester. So, if she just finished a few classes this fall, she could start working more in the Spring. Ds18 will be graduating a semester early, taking 2 classes at cc (the max allowed if dual-enrolled) this Fall, then going full time this Spring. It's nice because he can bang out some requirements for college, and I don't have to be in charge of those classes. It's a good "get your feet wet" way for him to start college. Maybe your dd would benefit from cc this way, keeping some options open, yet allowing her to pursue her cosmetology--which is a wonderful goal. Thank God she has the drive and persistence, and the goal of bettering herself! It sure beats not having the slightest idea of what you want to do after college!

[SheWhoWaits]

My sister is a beautician, and I know they have to know a lot of chemistry, so I'd definitely try to squeeze that in. The other subjects I wouldn't worry about unless she cares. As my sister says, some people want to know everything, and some people just learn what they need to know when they need to know it. (I'm the first, she's the second. We both homeschool.) Both ways are o.k.

[Jan P.]

Stacey,

 

I met a woman last year at our state's 4-H camp. She had her own cosmetology school which enabled her to homeschool her children and have a large ranch with many horses. Her horse trailer was something to drool about! Her children were lovely and very kind (especially towards my shy dd). I don't believe that she had a college education, yet her life is very full. In fact, I think she really owns two schools.

 

To ge honest, I think the GED has been unfairly judged by the homeschool community. Sometimes I wonder if we are becoming the educational snobs that many of us say we want to avoid. I know that in the past that taking the GED meant that you were a drop out. I think the trend is changing. Many colleges and institutions are desiring the student of a non traditional education to take the GED. If that is what it takes to get into those institutions and that is the desire of the student, then I say go for it!!

 

I have a relative that became pregnant during high school. She took the GED, went to a travel agency school, and became a travel agent. She did such an excellent job of arranging travel plans for a local rich CEO that she became that CEO's brother's secretary. She works for a millionaire and gets paid quite well.

 

Hope this helps,

[StaceyinLA]

I don't think college is for everyone, and, though I think this dd would do okay if she chose to go that route, I know that right now she has her heart set on cosmetology.

 

We haven't really talked, but I am planning to sit her down today and make a definite plan! I do appreciate everyone's POV.