Did you wait a long time to tell others that you were pregnant?

[Tap]

I waited until 12 weeks with dd15.  We lost one pregnancy between our bio-kids and I wanted to wait until we passed that mark before we told anyone.  :-)  Only one person knew aside from dh and I, and she needed to know because she would cover for me at work when I needed help lifting something heavy or what not. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I usually wait 3months. With#2, the timing was bad, he wasn't planned, Hurricane Katrina was bearing down on us, I knew I would be questioned and doubted. I needed a lot of time alone with the news. We waited 5months tell our parents,and 7 months before the word got out to everyone. My close friends and classmates all knew right away. I didn't have to tell them. 

Wait until you are ready.

[freesia]

Me too. Not entirely sure why I do but I noticed in the last two pregnancies that I simply didn't rush out and tell people. I did tell close friends much sooner.

 

OP, I'm pretty sure there is a rule that you need to tell the Hive ASAP. ;) there's no waiting allowed on that one.

Me, too, too. Well, I didn't wait until 20 weeks, but definitely after the first trimester. The first 2 we told early, early. After that, I only told my closest friends early--bc I get really sick and it was obvious to those close. Family that was far away--well, we waited, especially with my fourth and fifth pregnancy. I lost the fourth and it was just easier that way.

 

I decided that pregnancies last way to long when everyone knows from the fifth week. LOL

[GreenKitty]

"If" I was maybe pregnant with #5....let's just pretend here.....

 

You probably don't understand unless you have 4 or more kids but, well, people are less than excited after #2 and sometimes even rude after #3. Did anyone wait to be open about the pregnancy? Can I wait until people are brave enough to ask? Haha

Yes, I was 7mos before my in-laws found out.

[SproutMamaK]

We wait until 19-20 weeks to tell. We have a history of losses anywhere up to that point. I can understand the "I want support rather than suffer in silence" perspective.... but experience has made me DEFINITELY not feel that way.

 

Every time a friend announces their pregnancy, they're scared to share their joy around you.

 

People don't know what to say when you're in a group.

 

No one knows how to tell a joke anymore.

 

Everyone just kind of looks around awkwardly when you walk up to a group of people because oh my goodness, this is the mourning woman.... is it okay to have a normal conversation around her?

 

Multiply all that by happening every 8 months or so and people feeling worse for you every time, and just... no. Nope nope nope never again. I don't want to suffer in silence of become some sort of matyr, but what helps me get through grief is to ENJOY my life and my friends and remember how much I love my life just as it is. That's hard when everyone you care about suddenly starts acting like you're a different person.

 

Not to mention the fact that oh my goodness, my poor children. They would SO LOVE to have a baby in the house. I can't fathom breaking their hearts along with our own every time when get hopeful and then lose another.

 

I may be a little defensive over this right now, lol, Currently 16 1/2 weeks pregnant and my ONE friend who knows gave me a litlte speech on how I should be telling people so everyone can support me. She's never lost a baby.... just doesn't get it. I don't blame her for totally not getting it, but ugh.

 

I'm not saying EVERYONE should wait to tell, just offering my explanation as to why we do.

[Aspasia]

We tend to tell our parents and siblings around six weeks. Anyone who I would naturally tell about a miscarriage, I might as well tell them when the news is happy. Everyone else, we usually tell around 12 weeks. I don't say anything on Facebook until we have the 20-week ultrasound.

 

However, this time, we told our neighbors and church friends pretty early (like 9 weeks). I think it's because I was super sick. Plus, I don't know how you people hide it for 20 weeks but I'm only 15 weeks and I look VERY pregnant. It's weird, too, because I'm a pretty slim person and with my other pregnancies, I definitely didn't show so soon. But this one (my 5th) has me worried about how things will end if I'm already so big!

[m0mmaBuck]

With DS, I waited 12 wks. With my second pregnancy I waited 14 wks and then miscarried at 15. With my 3rd, I never told most people since I miscarried twins at 9 and 12 wks respectively. With DD, I waited 16 wks.