How to regain your motivation… love of the job… i.e. homeschooling

[Michelle My Bell]

So I'm in my 14th year of homeschooling and I don't want to do it anymore. I am struggling to even sit down to work with my kids. The year had started out great but the last few weeks I have really struggled. I am not sure if this is a phase or what but I have never felt like this before. I don't want to send my kids to school. The schools don't line up with my educational philosophy/style. I don't feel like it would be good for them. There is a school locally that would work fantastic but upon further investigation, I found out it is $6000-10,000 a year. That won't work with a $22,000 income. 

 

My kids have always been #1 in my life but I have started to do things for me now. This year I started going to University and honestly this is working out great with homeschooling, but my little part time job that requires me to get up at 4:30 every morning and work until 6:30 is really hard on me. I come home and go back to sleep till 9:30-10:00 and then I struggle to get started with school until 11:00 or so. Two days a week I have school so I have to do school when I come back at 12:30. Realistically, I don't start then because we have lunch. So it isn't until 1 or 2 that we start. All this weird scheduling is making it hard for me to stay on track. 

 

I am thinking of quitting that little job, but I'll need to come up with an alternative source of income that I can earn about $200. Whatever I do, it can't be 20+ hours a week outside the home. I need to be here for my kids. With me being gone already for University, I can't also spend hours away at a job. My current job is good because the kids are sleeping but it is very hard on me. 

 

Maybe I just need a swift kick in the pants to get to bed earlier? Maybe I just need to start unschooling? I just need some thoughts I guess. I need to rediscover my love of homeschooling. My kids love it and I know they don't want to go to school. I asked them. I just need to be the best I can be for them. 

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

I am so sorry you are struggling.  You are certainly not alone.  I have been struggling since the time change and I am still nursing our toddler (17 mo.) I have teens who want to stay up late and little ones who get up at 5!

 

I have to do some sit down work after supper now, Teaching Textbooks helps 3rd-7th 

 

Audio books are helping too.... I am looking on Audible for good Teaching Company  audio books 

 

There are workbox systems, online and pc programs ( Filters and supervision on the internet is a must!)

 

It really sounds like you need to leave the guilt, evaluate each day and schedule what is going to be realistic.

 

I just met a woman who is working all night and her oldest 2 are using ACE in the morning while she sleeps, then she has to work with a younger daughter before going to work.

 

I have to look at our weekly schedule with 8 children and I cannot imagine going to work... Just going to 1 co-op class and Dr. visits lately has drained me ( 2 kids were hospitalized for 4 and 3 days)

 

Hospital and Dr. bills are already piled up from my surgery and dh had 2 stents put in and was on medication that cost monthly.... now he has expensive tests every year.  I get depressed at how much we owe and contemplate bankruptcy or getting a night job myself.  I just cannot work outside the home right now.  

 

We are not going to celebrate birthday's or Christmas with gifts... we simply cannot do it this year.  The meal will be chosen and we have Church Youth events and trips to help pay for.  

 

I hope this helps in some small way.

 

 

 

 

[Michelle My Bell]

I really love your idea to look into something like Teaching Textbooks and audio books. I think you are right that I need to find independent work for my kids and to provide a list for them to work from when I can't be there. I need to brainstorm more ideas of things I could do. 

[Tracy]

It sounds like you are exhausted.  I have gone through times of sleep deprivation (for different reasons), and everything becomes hard, from teaching my children to cleaning my house to running errands.  It is difficult to find joy in anything when you are sleep deprived.  

 

And when we are not able to start school until after lunch, we get very little done.  My kids' prime time is in the morning until lunch.  And the only way they do very much after lunch is if they know they are almost done.  

 

Is there any way you can get to bed earlier so that you don't have to go back to sleep in the morning?  Is there any way you can have your kids work independently in the morning so that they have some work behind them when you get up?  

[PollyOR]

Here's our little tale.  Our church encourages high school students to take an early morning religion class.  In our area the students meet at 6:45 am.  My second daughter was already struggling with depression and getting up at 5:45 am did her in. She would go to class and then come home and sleep for 2-3 hours, but it wasn't enough.  She would literally fall asleep while reading aloud to me. Night sweats may have been involved also.

 

We went to see a sleep specialist.  His advice?  No more naps.  That was so hard on dd!  Screen time (TV or computer) was also not allowed after supper.  He had her take Melatonin, but she took it for maybe a month and then quit.  It took a few weeks adjusting to her new schedule but it worked.  The night sweats ended and she was more alert during the day.

 

If you like your job, I would try a different sleep schedule before searching for a new job.

 

Good luck!

[Michelle My Bell]

I think you are both correct. I need to find a way to readjust my sleep schedule. It is so hard to be in bed by 8:00 so I can be up by 4:30 and stay up but I'm not a girl who can get by without 8 hours. I struggle to get out of bed once I've gone back to sleep. I just feel so exhausted. I think there are several things that need some change here. Thanks for your input.

[Nscribe]

Does the "little job" you have now pay enough to cover the $200 or so you need and maybe allow you to bring in an older teen/homeschool mom to come in 3 times a week and be there from 10:30 to 1pm to give you a little breathing room for a few months and catch a short reprieve?

[Mommy22alyns]

I vote for finding more independent subjects.  10 on up can do a lot on their own, depending on personality.

[Michelle My Bell]

Does the "little job" you have now pay enough to cover the $200 or so you need and maybe allow you to bring in an older teen/homeschool mom to come in 3 times a week and be there from 10:30 to 1pm to give you a little breathing room for a few months and catch a short reprieve?

No, it is a "lifeline" for me. I live on this money along with the little child support I receive. I literally barely make it financially all. the. time. Also, just to clarify, I make $200 a week at this job.

[Annie Laurie]

 So I don't believe I will ever fall out of love with homeschooling my kids - maybe because we've lived the alternative and appreciate the gift much more.

 

I wonder how long you've been homeschooling? I took my son out of public school in 4th grade due to issues there, so we have also experienced the alternative. Homeschooling is just a lot of work, and it's normal to have periods of burn out, especially if you've been at it a long time.

[PeterPan]

I agree with the others to get checklist made for all those kids PRONTO.  It will be the best few hours you spend each week.  And frankly, I'd think Buddy-System, a la Duggars.  It's not a sin; it's learning to love and serve each other.  So pair them up, help them make lists, and let the olders supervise the youngers.  That leaves you free to spend your precious time doing the things they CAN'T do. 

 

Put household chores and meal prep, laundry, etc. on that list too.

 

And this is none of my business, but I'd ask whether the university thing is really essential or something that could be dropped.  Sometimes it helps with income, and sometimes it's distracting and dividing your focus.  If you can get by with your small job and the child support and no university, might be better than the pipe dream that makes things fall apart.  I don't know, I just know my mother went back to college when I was around that age (8-10) because she wanted to be able to get a good degree in case she decided to divorce my father (yes) and she ended up losing my brother.  Her college degree and grad work left her in debt but spending so little time with her boy that he became rebellious.  So that's just my two cents.  I know in the moment you have a lot of things to consider.  I'm just saying time with your kids for this fleeting season will be worth much more than you think.  

[kolamum]

My kids were younger when I hit that point a few years ago. I couldn't go to a conference or a convention for support & refreshing, so I threw my own. :lol: I gathered up homeschool chats & resources & took 3 days to myself {left kids with a sitter} & was able to come back refreshed. I also changed our curriculum for the first time in 5 years & it made a huge difference too.

 

Couldn't your children attend to some of their work on their own? I'm guessing your youngest might need you for most of his work, but that the rest could do some if not all of their work. A student planner goes a long way to helping keep them on track too! But I hear you, getting up early is not my forte. And lack of sleep can make me miserable.

[Michelle My Bell]

 

Gosh I'm sorry you feel that way. But like all things I believe when you have too much of a good thing you don't love it as much.For me, I wasn't interested in homeschooling my kids, until the situation at their schools had changed them. My older son did well enough in public school and loved it. But my youngest son suffered from depression and bullying. He and my youngest daughters are homeschooling for 4th and 7th grades for the first time and we are never looking back.I work outside the home as does my dh, and I literally rush home to work to school my kids. It's the highlight of my day. No more picking them up from extended care, forcing them to do homework when they are burned out from sports, fighting and bullying at school all day and me trying to figure out what they heck they learned. Now I know what they are learning and they enjoy the much shorter days of schooling, and sleeping in.So I don't believe I will ever fall out of love with homeschooling my kids - maybe because we've lived the alternative and appreciate the gift much more.

Public or Private school has never been an option for my kids because I suffered so much as a child AND because the thought of being away from them so many hours each day would break my heart. I don't think my issue is having too much of a good thing and not valuing it. I don't want to send them to school. I just want to regain my love for the actual process of doing it. I have 5 kids and I have been homeschooling for 14 years. None of them have ever been to school and last year my oldest graduated and is now in college.

 

A lot has changed in my life over the last few years. I have been living as a single mom for 3 years now and I think sometimes it just gets hard to keep it all balanced. I started college this year and that has definitely added some additional time constraints, but these issues have been slowly building since last school year.

 

I rearranged my homeschool space today. I took great care to make it fresh and appealing. I am going to make a list of things they can do on their own when I'm not available and basically take all the advice offered here. I am also going to try VERY hard to change my sleep schedule. I just need to get to bed earlier if I am going to get up and stay up for the day. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

[Tracy]

Let us know how it goes!  Best of luck.   :grouphug:

[Michelle My Bell]

 

I agree with the others to get checklist made for all those kids PRONTO.  It will be the best few hours you spend each week.  And frankly, I'd think Buddy-System, a la Duggars.  It's not a sin; it's learning to love and serve each other.  So pair them up, help them make lists, and let the olders supervise the youngers.  That leaves you free to spend your precious time doing the things they CAN'T do. 

 

Put household chores and meal prep, laundry, etc. on that list too.

 

And this is none of my business, but I'd ask whether the university thing is really essential or something that could be dropped.  Sometimes it helps with income, and sometimes it's distracting and dividing your focus.  If you can get by with your small job and the child support and no university, might be better than the pipe dream that makes things fall apart.  I don't know, I just know my mother went back to college when I was around that age (8-10) because she wanted to be able to get a good degree in case she decided to divorce my father (yes) and she ended up losing my brother.  Her college degree and grad work left her in debt but spending so little time with her boy that he became rebellious.  So that's just my two cents.  I know in the moment you have a lot of things to consider.  I'm just saying time with your kids for this fleeting season will be worth much more than you think.  

 

 

Hi Elizabeth,

Yeah, university is pretty essential for me. It isn't about a career at all in fact, it is really about two things. #1 Fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine to get a degree. The level of happiness I feel while there cannot be measured. I feel so blessed to be able to be in this environment for the first time in my life. I am learning more than I ever expected and I love that I can share all that I am learning with my kids. #2 It is giving me the skills and focus I need in order to fulfill and second lifelong goal of owning my own business so that I can continue to be home with my kids and support us above the poverty level. My plans are to work for myself, at home, and it will be a business that has an education focus. I have tried doing this without a degree and while I had some mild success, I feel that I need this additional training in order to really flourish.

 

The extra blessing is that it isn't costing me anything. My oldest daughter, who graduated last year from homeschooling got a full ride scholarship and in addition to that, she has also gotten a few extra scholarships which result in "extra" aid that is reimbursed to her. She has graciously shared that with me so that with my own aid, I am able to go for free. I am planning on trying for my own scholarships (I ended up applying late in the summer so I didn't have time to get any scholarships) but for now this covers it.

 

So far, I am around the kids a lot. That is the main reason why I do that job so early in the morning, so I don't have to be away from the kids. This semester I have two classes and my younger ones are taken care of by my 16 and 13 year old daughters who are very loving and take excellent care of them. However I don't expect them to do school with my younger ones while I'm gone because they have their own school to complete. I may ask for the older ones to do a bit of school with the younger ones next semester as mentioned by someone else here. I don't think that would eat into their day too much and it would help me tremendously.

 

I just wanted to address that because I felt that in some instances, college would be a very bad idea. For years I never considered doing anything like this because my children are my first priority. But I felt that with the older ones care, they would be in good hands. They are really wonderful, loving kids and I think that part is A-OK. I just needed this kick in the pants to figure things out in my own heart. For so long I focused on homeschooling ALL THE TIME and now my focus is divided and I think it is making the actual work of homeschooling feel way to much like a chore and less like the blessing it is. KWIM? I really have appreciated everyones perspective and I am going to take all your thoughts to heart and hopefully find my way through this without any problems.

[PollyOR]

Wow!  You have a wonderful daughter.  :)

 

The extra blessing is that it isn't costing me anything. My oldest daughter, who graduated last year from homeschooling got a full ride scholarship and in addition to that, she has also gotten a few extra scholarships which result in "extra" aid that is reimbursed to her. She has graciously shared that with me so that with my own aid, I am able to go for free.