It takes 30 days to create a new habit...

[amo_mea_filiis.]

How do you force the change for the first 29 days?!

 

I have 3 things I'm trying to change right now. I'm good for a few days, but then fall off.

[Guest]

You make yourself follow through.  The good news is, usually when you just learned about all the awesome benefits you will enjoy by changing a habit, you have at least some enthusiasm for following through. Then, so the theory goes, you'll keep doing it because it's a habit.

 

 

 

 

I don't really believe that, though.  :leaving: You can retreat back to your former ways at any time if you decide the benefits are not important/worthwhile/significant and you miss doing it the way you used to. 

[Luckymama]

I have to write myself a to-do list every day and put that habit-to-be-formed on the list every single day. It's worked for exercise (5 out of 7 days every week for several months!) It hasn't worked for tracking my food intake (I go two days in a row at the most...)

[MomOfOneFunOne]

AMDG

 

I recommend external accountability if you can swing it.  For example, if you're wanting to start running, recruit someone to meet up with.  You definitely don't have to run together but you do have to meet up at the start so you can't miss!  If you want make sure you wash your face every evening b/f you retire, recruit a family member to (gently) inspect b/f bed.  I wash my face I get a kiss, I forgot to wash my face, you get a kiss.  something like that.  

 

I'm pitiful.  I always have to do that kind of thing.

[Mnemosyne]

I do something called 6 week challenges with a group of other people.

 

By the time I make it through the 6 weeks, I'm good to go.

 

And I have to stay accountable, so that helps.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I don't have anyone to make me do this.

 

The first that I'm working on is.... DISHES! Lol. I need to get the dishes done before bed. Doing so obviously makes my morning better, which makes the whole day run better.

 

I'll do really good for a short time, but then one night I will not do it and that will mess me up for a week.

[jelbe5]

What about being accountable to some friends here on the Board? I would be interested in "Daily Dishes" accountability, too!

 

It might help to just really focus on one habit. I think you said there are 3 things you are working on.

 

I do well with dishes for a while, too, then suddenly I look at my kitchen and wonder. "What happened here?". Today I am hoping to get dishes washed and put away.

 

Laundry is my second biggest nemises. I love being home with my kids. I'm just not a very good homemaker. Too bad we can't afford live in help. :-)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I've tried posting on the tackle the day thread, but it doesn't seem to help.

 

All three are things I get done daily. I'm just trying to change the time I get them done. I am focusing on the dishes first.

[Kalmia]

I've been some habit training books. One of which is The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

 

There seems to be two main points in all of them. 

 

1. Write down what you are going to do every day.

2. Replace your nonproductive habit with your desired habit by keeping the trigger and the reward the same but changing the activity in the middle.

 

So what are you doing instead of the dishes? Reading a book? Watching TV? What happens right before that? Identifying that thing will help you figure out your trigger. What happens immediately after the things you do instead of doing the dishes? That might be your reward.

 

So right now you might be:

(Trigger) Clearing the plates--(Habit) Watching TV-- (Reward) Cuddling with Kids or DH on Couch.

 

You need to keep the trigger and the reward the same but substitute a new habit (this will actually rewrite the pathway in your brain, however the old pathway is always there in the background, waiting to trip you up! Especially when you are stressed. This is where following the to-do list comes in handy.)

 

New series:

(Trigger) Clearing the plates--(Habit) Do the Dishes--(Reward) Cuddling with Kids or DH on Couch.

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Antecedent-behavior-consequence. I don't have a consistent antecedent except finishing eating. But that's not a direct antecedent.

 

I've tried rewarding myself, but I guess it's never been rewarding enough.

 

Ds usually has an after dinner transition tantrum. If I let anything happen between dinner and his shower, it's hell. After his shower and bed, I'm done!

 

I could reward dd. if she stacks and preps the dishes while I shower ds, she'll get a piece of chocolate. Having the dishes stacked will be enough of a motivator for me to get it done. My reward will be reading next to dd and not feeling guilty.

 

If you think I'm overthinking, you're right! Lol. But it might work.

[elfgivas]

so the trigger doesn't need to be huge.  it could simply be "every time i get up from the table, i walk into the kitchen and do the dishes". 

 

setting yourself up for success works sometimes, too.  eg.  before you start cooking dinner, fill the sink half full with warm soapy water.  as you finish using something, toss it in the water.  while things are cooking, you could get most things washed.  then what will be left will be what you have just finished using, which isn't so much. 

 

if you are air drying, the dishes will be mostly dry by the time you finish dinner.  if you are loading a dishwasher, then you can add your extra things from dinner and press "start".

 

okay, i just read your last post.  put things in the soapy water, and then do them after his shower?  would washing dishes help calm him? 

 

you could also choose dishwashing music that you put on.

 

hth,

ann

[Erica in OR]

The blog zenhabits.net has quite a few posts on how to change your habits, but this one has some good tips summarized into a single post "Sticking to a Habit: The Definitive Guide."

 

Erica in OR

[Night Elf]

My new habit is exercising on the weekdays. I do it at the same time every day so there is no excuse of "i've forgotten". I haven't yet had a day where I wanted to get on that treadmill. I walk to my room totally dreading it. But I get on knowing that when I'm done, I will at least feel a sense of accomplishment. And then I reward myself with one of my favorite healthy snacks. It's the only time of day I allow myself that snack. I am hoping this eventually turns into habit that I don't hate so much. I'm highly skeptical though. But it's something I abolutely must do, so I tell myself there simply is no choice.