What would you do...

[Slartibartfast]

I would tell the teacher not to be such a jerk and chill out.

 

However I think your DH went off the deep end. WOW. That is NOT OK.

[Mary in VA]

What are your future plans for school?  What do you intend to do next year, first grade?  Are you going to homeschool?

 

I am a retired or graduated homeschooling mom.  My second dd went off to college this fall  and she was homeschooled from 1st - 12th grades.  She did go to pre-school and kindergarten from 3-6.  She has a  birthday in early October and missed the cutoff in our state which is 30 September.  Since her preschool was a private one, they could have moved her up from 4 yo pre-K to K if we wanted.  We decided not to because she was a leader in her class.  She was self-assured and tying everyone else's shoe laces  :001_smile: I have never, ever regretted it.  If  you are planning on homeschooling you can assign whatever grade you want to and graduate her when you want.  If you are planning to send her to 1st grade next year and have her go to a brick and mortar school, there are lots of ramifications about your choice to sent her to 1st grade at 5 that probably aren't apparent to you now.  All of this is given in a gentle spirit and not meant to be critical of anyone's choices.  I just know of all of the benefits my dd had from starting school later even though she was homeschooled.

 

DD was involved in lots of outside activities and co-op classes so had plenty of interaction which children in her grade/age/peer group. Because she was usually one of the oldest in the class she was up to speed developmentally and wasn't struggling to keep up.  Socially it was easier for her because she was older than most.  When her teen years arrived she was comfortable and wasn't the smallest/youngest/most immature in the group.  That can make a big difference in social interaction.  She took college classes at the local CC as junior because she was already 16 at the beginning of her junior.  She also took dual-enrolled classes on-line.  Because of that she went to college this fall with 33 college credits already under her belt.  She went to college as an 18 yo instead of a 17 yo.  Doesn't sound like a big deal but there can be a BIG difference in maturity between an almost 18 yo and almost 19 yo! These are things we didn't even think of when we decided to leave her in her pre-K class.  We just knew she was happy there.

 

This is a long way of saying, if your dd doesn't have to be in the kindergarten class to provide child care then I would pull her out.  She is only 4!  As many others have said, that is still a baby.  She wants you.  There are plenty of other ways she can socialize in groups and have friends at 4 without going to a school where her teacher doesn't like her.  And if you aren't going to homeschool her, pull her out now and put her in another kindergarten next year.  There is a big difference between almost 5 and almost 6!  

 

Just my 2 cents,

Mary

 

 

[Catwoman]

He does physical labor (like splitting wood for his parents). He has had counseling in the past, and he is on Celexa and Zyprexa for anxiety issues.

In Michigan even one cuss word can get you in trouble if charges are pressed. That's why I tend to deal with such things.

In that case, I think it's very wise of you to handle this type of confrontation.

[Uff Da!]

Good luck at the meeting melissamathews.  

[Melissa in Australia]

I don't mean any disrespect, but if your dh has already threatened violence and you know that, at a minimum he would yell and curse at the teacher and school authorities, I think he might need some sort of counseling, as his reaction is beyond extreme.

 

OK, we all agree it was wrong for the teacher to treat your dd poorly, but that's no reason to yell, scream, curse, or think about doing her bodily harm. It just isn't. If your dh can't control his temper well enough to speak civilly with the school officials, that would really concern me.

 

I can understand being angry -- I would be livid, too -- but I can't understand not being able to control his temper to the point where you think he might get arrested for it. That's kind of scary.

:iagree:

[bettyandbob]

The teacher is a bully. Even if she is reprimanded, she will bully your dd the rest of the year. The other children will learn from this teacher. They will that it is ok to scapegoat another person. As long as your dd is in class with these children the person to scapegoat will be your dd, because they learned that from the kindergarten teacher. These patterns stick with groups long after the group gets a new teacher. So, if your dd is not moved away from this teacher now, she will be set up to be pushed around by the other kids for years to come --if you stay with this school. If you remove your dd the teacher will find another child to harass. Teachers who bully generally find a replacement quickly.

 

Side note. When oldest ds was in a Montessori preschool, I did a long observation because I had been told of some problems. Because I am a sp ed teacher myself I know how to do observation and not be a part of the class. I was horrified. The kids were constantly saying nasty things to ds. I watched for a couple of hours. I asked the teacher why this was allowed, she said because he's a bad boy and the other children should harass him. Ds had turned 4 one day before and during the 2 hour observation he worked alone, choosing his projects and appropriately cleaning up and getting new materials. I called my mom from the school parking lot crying and told her everything I saw. She screamed "sounds like Catholic School. Get him out of there now." My mother attended Catholic School and vowed her doc would never go to one. Ds never went back to that school.

 

I agree with the pp regarding being older for the grade. If you homeschool you can advance her academic needs however you want. But I skipped a grade and I have dc with fall birthdays kids who are older for a grade have more confidence and generally do better than kids who have the same intellectual ability, but are younger. You will find yourself not really getting it while the kids go through elementary, but as they hit high school the kids who are on the older side of the grade really shine. My fall birthday dd is doing amazing in 10th grade. She is very confident and has never felt the need to do or not do something because of what other kids are doing. She does her own thing and simply makes great decisions. When she was younger ther was talk of pushing her up a grade. I am so glad we did not pursue that. My experience with being skipped was not good. Intellectually I handled academics fine (all adv classes through high school, early graduation so another grade skip), but I was never outstanding and never believed I could do well at anything( even when I did well it was in my mind a fluke).

[lllll]

..

[justasque]

I'm more concerned about Michigan's law about cussing in front of women and children. That I know would happen and I've heard if actually enforced (the woman presses charges) the consequences are pretty steep.

 

Michigan's law, enacted in 1897, was overturned in 2002, on the grounds that it was unconstitutionally vague and therefore violated the 14th Amendment.

 

In Michigan v. Boomer, 655 N.W.2d 255 (Mich. App. 2002), the case which overturned the law, the original consequence was only a $75 fine and 4 days of community service, which is more of a slap on the wrist than "steep".  

 

In the case, 

 

"Witness Michael Smith was canoeing down the Rifle River with his wife and two children approximately forty yards behind defendant's party, which consisted of five canoes. Smith testified that he saw defendant fall out of his canoe and into the river, at which point defendant loudly uttered a stream of profanities, while slapping the water and throwing his hands in the air.

Kenneth Socia, a road patrol deputy for the Arenac County Sheriff's Department who was on duty at the Rifle River that day, testified that he heard a "loud commotion" and "vulgar language" coming from approximately one-quarter mile up the river. Socia looked up and saw defendant chasing a group of canoes, splashing water at them with his paddle, and repeatedly swearing at them. Socia and Smith both testified that the river was crowded with families and children, and that defendant would have been able to see Smith's two children, who were under five years old. Socia issued defendant a citation for violating M.C.L. § 750.337."

 

From the court's findings:

 

"Here, it would be difficult to conceive of a statute that would be more vague than M.C.L. § 750.337. There is no restrictive language whatsoever contained in the statute that would limit or guide a prosecution for indecent, immoral, obscene, vulgar, or insulting language. Allowing a prosecution where one utters "insulting" language could possibly subject a vast percentage of the populace to a misdemeanor conviction.

...

MCL 750.337 is an unconstitutional enactment in violation of the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Constitution because the statute is facially vague. Therefore, because defendant's conviction was based on

the unconstitutional statute, we reverse the conviction."

See this NYT article, this article which gives the case reference, and the appeal court's finding.