Do your kids like Public School?? Why? Why not?

[michaeljenn]

My older 3 children will be going to public school this fall, and I am just terrified. There ages are 9, 12 and 13 and I still have a 4yo and almost 2yo at home. I have spent the past 7 years hearing how horrible the Public School is from all my other homeschool friends!!

 

The older two asked to go. My son (13) wanted to be on the Robotics team and on the Tennis team. He also wants to take pre-ap classes that will challenge him more. He also only has 1 friend and he soooo loooongs for friends. We have made an extreme effort in finding friends this year, but have not had any luck. SIGH!! Most boys are either way older or young than he is. Or.... they are just plain wierd!!:lol: So, he wants to go for social reasons as well.

 

My daughter wants to take a creative writing class as well as theatre. She looooongs for the social aspect of it too.

 

My 9yo does not care either way, but we were able to transfer into a school that has a huge waiting list. We are still trying to figure out HOW we got her in that school. This was truly a miracle.

 

The middle school my 12 and 13yo will be attending is a magnet school. 76% of the students are transfer students and have to maintain a 3.2 to stay in the school. They also have a very strict dress code, which I like. They are pretty strict on behaviour too. My hubby and I met with the principle for an hour and a half and were pretty impressed.

 

So, I am wondering do your kids like school? I am wondering if my kids will like it. I mean they are all excited and all, but do they have a wrong image in their head? They are tired of being home all day!! They are tired of the distractions the little ones cause while trying to do their math... They want to do projects and more lab sciences. Yes, there are classes around our community for homeschoolers, but they cost an arm and a leg and I would have to lug them to class during nap time!! SIGH!!

 

I am also feeling guilty. I feel like they will not get a good education and that they will turn into heathens headed for prison someday... or at least that is what the "wonderful" homeschoolers think around here.

 

Honestly, I live in a very conservative town and the schools are good. Both the schools that my children will attend were rated Exemplary schools... So thats good right??

 

Ok... Yes, I have rambled far too long. I guess I just need encouragement??

 

Help!!

[BabyBre]

LOL! I feel your pain! These were all my fears, too, when we started ps last year.

 

Our situation was different in that it wasn't the kids who necessarily wanted to go (except my 10th grade ds), but my dh who wanted them to go in a really big way. I don't understand it, myself, but it was to the point that after years of battle and tension over homeschooling, I finally sold my children out to public school (just being dramatic here!) for the sake of marital harmony. It did work, dh is as cheerful as can be, but I'm the one now dealing with all this on the inside. I know the guilt you're talking about.

 

But here's how I deal with it - I workout a lot, and I hover around their school, knowing intimately their teachers, the way they teach, and the work they're giving my dc. The benefits of this are several fold - Besides being in the best shape of my life(!), the teachers, of course, put me to work with kids who need help or with class projects, etc, and in this way I also get to know their friends, the kids and adults they're surrounded with, and much more from the gossip in the teacher workroom! Our school has great parent involvement, so I also get to know many of the parents this way, which has become a social network for me, too.

 

*sigh* It's not that bad, I guess. (lol) I still believe they would get a much better education at home with me, and it has been more work keeping them well behaved, well mannered, etc (although there have been some excellent social learning opportunities that would likely not have occurred for years if they had stayed home). And, of course, I miss them terribly.

 

I wasn't happy with my dd's classroom education last year and her teacher refused to even entertain my requests to have her more challenged, so I've gone directly to the principal this year. So far, he's been fairly open to me and even my ideas (he's a new principal!). We're in the process of conferencing with the teacher she's been assigned to this year and talking about a 2nd/3rd grade time split or maybe some other option. If worse comes to worse and everyone decides not to accommodate me this year, I know that part-time enrollment is within my rights in our state. You might want to investigate that. If a time split won't work out, I hope to have both my dc home for one day a week where I can continue to challenge them and move them forward, because they're both in the tops of their classes and dd especially was pretty bored and stagnant in the classroom last year. And of course I continue to "afterschool", but that's a couple hours a day at most when they're in school for six and I can hardly get the meat and potatoes in in that time.

 

You can look at my other threads and posts and read my other lamentations, but keep in mind that they've been penned by me in all states of mind and strife! My mind isn't frantic any more, but it is consistently concerned and on the offensive (not defensive anymore). I lose sleep sometimes. My heart is broken for my babies, but I'm dealing and this is how. The kids love it, of course. It's easy for them and they get to socialize for 6+ hours a day.

 

My best advice is to stay as deeply involved as you can, and know your parental rights. Our school is notorious for actually promoting false information (or maybe omitting true information) so much that it becomes "common knowledge" by the parents and even the school staff. I'm a pain the the @#% parent, but I make myself valuable to the school by volunteering a lot (I even got myself a paying gig there this year!), and my kiddos know I love them dearly, that's for sure!

 

Feel free to pm me if you like.

[LibrarianMom]

My daughter really enjoys her school most of the time. That's mostly because she doesn't know any difference since I work outside of the home, although sometimes she'll ask if we can home school today. :001_smile: Public school isn't all rosy but it's not always a bad as some make it out to be. So much depends on your area, the individual school, and particular teachers.

 

Like the others have said, you need to stay involved particularly with your 9 yo. That will be more difficult with the older ones but the magnet school should help with that aspect. The magnet school should help a lot since the kids who are there really want to be there. Since your children are older and have benefited from your training and tutelage, I don't think you should see to much detrimental behavior. If or when you do, it's important to get on it right away.

[Mandamom]

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[Mandamom]

enjoy (as much as you can enjoy any school work) going to school. They enjoy the interaction with other adults and children and exploring the opportunities (field trips and science experiments) to do things that we are unable to do at home. My kids enjoy going to school and interacting with others outside the house.

 

As far as what you have heard about public schools I think that they have done a disservice to you. You asked if your child has a realistic image of school and I suspect he has a more real picture than you do given all of the horror stories you have heard.

 

Yes, there are tons of schools, teachers and administrators who are pretty bad. I pulled a child out of school and kept him out for 5 years, partly due to a poort teacher although honestly, I put most of the blame on the fact that my ds then 8 just wasn't in a good place to be in a large group of kids all day -- it was too stressful for him. So, for my 1 child, school wasn't a good place for him so I didn't send him there. When school did become the better choice I sent him and it has gone wonderfully well.

 

There are also many schools, teachers and administrators working really hard to make a positive difference in their students' lives. They care.

 

You can do a lot to make this a positive experience and make sure that you are positive about this even though I know you are scared, worried and nervous. Get involved in the classroom and the school parent organization. Talk to the teachers and find out how you can help them. Get to know your kids' friends. Become the place that the kids want to hang out so you know them well. Make an opportunity to meet and become friends with your kids' friends so that you can see that they are just people trying to do the best for their kids, too.

 

I had a lot more thoughts on this but my mind has gone blank so I'll stop now.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

 

I am also feeling guilty. I feel like they will not get a good education and that they will turn into heathens headed for prison someday... or at least that is what the "wonderful" homeschoolers think around here.

 

Honestly, I live in a very conservative town and the schools are good. Both the schools that my children will attend were rated Exemplary schools... So thats good right??

 

Ok... Yes, I have rambled far too long. I guess I just need encouragement??

 

Help!!

 

Oh, my kids have had amazing public schools! (Aside from a couple really mediocre ones in the same district, the last of which we simply pulled dd from mid-year :-PP)

 

Rest assured, there are some remarkably good public schools out there. There are many horrible ones, to be sure. But you will know, and you will adjust if need be.

 

Just juggling the part of you that hopes that they HATE it so they will come home is kinda hard. We've done such strange things in the dc's educational journey. They still seem to be civilized people who love learning and who are good people. Just love them fiercely. That's their best protection. And don't be afraid to do different things with different kids. It's not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Evaluate each year for each child. You'll be fine. :grouphug:

[AuntPol]

My oldest DD loves school. She hates to miss school, dreads last day of school and can't wait for school to start. She is a teacher's pet. She loves her teachers and thinks that everything they do is perfect (as opposed to me). School is easy (She learns absolutely squat though) for her because of what we do at home and thus it is a 7 hour playdate. She in no way wants to homeschool.

 

My son hated school. He hates having to get ready for school, going to school. He has no interest in being there whatsoever. He is bored silly and constantly in trouble. Thus, at his request (and 3 years of he and I getting DH on board), we are homeschooling him this fall.

[LizzyBee]

My 14 yo just went back to school after being homeschooled 6 years. This is the 4th week of school and she loves it. Her school is a small public charter high school. There is a lottery system for admissions and we were surprised that she got in, but we are very glad she did. The teachers and principal are all just great. I have emailed the principal several times and he always responds promptly and pleasantly. This school also has a dress code and high standards of behavior. My dd left her graphing calculator at school one day and I thought for sure it would be gone, but it was still in the classroom when she got there the next day.

[Renee in NC]

My 15yo goes to a small charter school (476 in grades K-12.) Even though it *is* a public school, it operates mostly like a private prep school. He loves it! He has never been homeschooled, though, and doesn't really want to be (he's really into the social scene.) It is a highly academic, highly rigorous school, so my only concerns revolve around that pesky social scene.:D

[Doran]

...that I'm lurking here and absorbing all these comments as well. My two will be heading to public school in two weeks. The first time for the 11 year old and a return for the 14 year old who was there in first grade only. So, it will be a huge transition for all of us. I have so many questions, and concerns, so many feelings of not quite knowing how all this works. In our area, there are only a handful of choices. There are two private high schools, one parochial, and one a prep-type school which is over an hour away. Both of those are out of our financial league. There are no magnet or charter schools. So, we're just doing the basic public school which, because our area is small, is also relatively small. Only time will tell how it will all fit for us. I have the sense that I'll be spending more time here this coming year. :001_smile:

[michaeljenn]

Thanks for the replies everyone!! I am actually feeling more and more at peace about this decision.

 

I have felt like I have been trying to stay above water for some time now. My hubby is VERY pro-homeschooling, but has realized something needs to change for awhile. I need to "let it go" and get our household back in order. It is just toooooo much for me to juggle it all. I have been told to "unschool" for a few years by well meaning friends, BUT NO, I cannot do that. We would really go crazy then, if there was NO structure at all.

 

Soooo, I have ALLOWED myself to be ok with being able to:

1. be able to go workout and get back in shape

2. be able to have a clean and organized house

3. be able to REALLY play and interact with my 4 and almost 2yo... who at this time just gets shoved aside in the name of homeschooling.

4. be a mom again

5. be a house wife... or maybe a "sexy" housewife:lol:

6. actually have a social life again that does not involve talking about what grammar we are using...

 

I am excited for this new stage in my life. Yes it will be a major transition, but it is just what our family needs at this time!!

 

I am so glad to have you guys to "chat" with about afterschooling!!

 

There, I said it... I cannot do all of this anymore, right now. I am not super mom, and I am not a failure!!

 

Thanks again everyone,

Jennifer

[BabyBre]

There, I said it... I cannot do all of this anymore, right now. I am not super mom, and I am not a failure!!

 

Thanks again everyone,

Jennifer

 

 

YOU ROCK, JENNIFER! Your attitude is inspiring!

[Mosaicmind]

My oldest 2 went (dd/18 graduated) to public highschool. DS/15 is in his sophomore year at highschool and likes it. DS/14 tried and hated ps, DD/12 tried it last year and asked to come back home, DS/10 tried it last year and asked to come back home. DS/8 and DS/6 think they want to go, but I don't plan on sending them anytime soon.

 

We just didn't have a very good experience with elementary or middle school.

[sweetbaby]

My oldest was in ps from k-6 but my littles have only experience ps for a year so they really don't remember anything except hanging with pals which is what they have told me in the past. My oldest had missed the routinely hanging with the pals in addition to sports. He's into park and rec or church sports now but there were more opportunities in the ps system. I loved all of their teachers but the children were something other from being desired. There were good and a few bads ones. I volunteered at the school and was an active member of the parents/teachers organization so I witnessed quite a few unpleasant things. If you are a very involved parent (which most of us are), I think it makes all of the difference in the world if you have to place your children in the ps system.

[Melinda in VT]

My kids like public school "most of the time."

 

Things they like: fun teachers (when I asked which were fun, they said "all of them"), good teachers, interesting projects, fun work, seeing their friends, learning stuff

 

Things they don't like: boring work, having too much work (they said this doesn't happen often)

[Jodi-FL]

as my dh decided this year (after 12 years of homeschooling) to send our oldest 6 (still have a 2 yo at home) to public school. It's only been 2 days, but they're going to be fine. We have built a solid relationship that permeates the world around them, and personally, I like having them more in the world while still coming home to us at night to process before they go off to college. We have 3 in high school, 1 in middle school and 2 in elementary. we have made ourselves known as parents, and seen things work out real well so far. I may end up afterschooling a bit more in the future (already helping with homework quite a bit) but for now we've told them coming back home isn't an option. they don't want to anyway. they're having a great time, and learning to appreciate what they had at home.

 

and I agree about working out more, putting my dh back in first place (where I thought I had kept him anyway, but apparently not) and enjoying my role as Mom.

[Jenne]

School didn't work for my dc, but I think it had as much to do with them and their personalities as it did with the schools (their traumatic experiences with several individual teachers notwithstanding). DS12 lacks the patience to keep rehashing the same materials he memorized the first time (though some kids are fine with that and the other benefits of school outweigh the inconvenience of repetition.) My older son had a lot of trouble because of his complete lack of organizational skills. (I've heard this is beginning to be recognized as a learning disability. While it never kept him from learning, it often kept him from passing classes.)

 

For many kids, school is great fun. If your kids like it, then great! There are some very good teachers out there with great ideas for keeping classes fun and keeping kids learning. The charter school sounds like a great opportunity.

[Sahamamama]

... I think, you deserve a "Well done!" and a "Congratulations!" for having homeschooled your children for 7 years. That is no small accomplishment. Think of what you HAVE done with and for your children -- the older two still love learning, they like and want to be with other people, they have individual preferences and goals and projects they would like to pursue. What's not to love about THAT?

 

Also, think about what you WILL BE ABLE TO DO with your little ones, now that your older three are going to "Exemplary" schools! :D Think of all the reading aloud you can do, without having to stop in the middle of Peter Rabbit's adventures to explain sticky math problems. You can PLAY with your littles. You can go OUTSIDE with your littles. You can COOK and BAKE and EXPLORE with your littles! Yippee! :D

 

Also, think about your children's characters. You have had some time to shape them, but it's not as though they won't come home at night. Pray with them before they leave for school each morning. Pray for them throughout the day, and teach your little ones to pray for their older siblings in school. Your children will not end up in prison, unless they decide to become chaplains! Support this new adventure in their lives!

[Sahamamama]

I have ALLOWED myself to be ok with being able to:

1. be able to go workout and get back in shape

2. be able to have a clean and organized house

3. be able to REALLY play and interact with my 4 and almost 2yo... who at this time just gets shoved aside in the name of homeschooling.

4. be a mom again

5. be a house wife... or maybe a "sexy" housewife:lol:

6. actually have a social life again that does not involve talking about what grammar we are using...

 

There, I said it... I cannot do all of this anymore, right now. I am not super mom, and I am not a failure!!

 

These are all good and healthy goals for you and your family. And, no, you are NOT a failure!

[michaeljenn]

Well, my kids LOVE school. They have wonderful teachers and have all made friends quickly and easily. I hope they continue to enjoy it. I am enjoying spending time with my little ones:)

 

We are all so excited to see each other after school and have laughed and just plain enjoyed each other. We have not had this joy the past year AT ALL... WE were all so stressed out at home. So, all is well at this point.

 

I just wanted to give an update to those who may be watching this thread. Also, I wanted to thank everyone again for your replies!

 

Blessings,

Jennifer

[Mosaicmind]

Thanks for the update Jennifer. DH and I decided to put ds/14 into school. He had tried out ps before when he was in 5th grade and hated it, but I think it will be different this year. He is in 8th grade and likes the different classes and teachers. I am still considering putting ds/8 into school because he had such a hard time concentrating and with my school stuff there just doesn't seem to be enough time for me to really work with him. Maybe I am lazy, but I believe he needs more than I can give.

[ravengal]

It's wondeful that you were able to reconnect joyfully with your kids after their school day. That makes all the difference in the world as they adjust to new situations.

[Shay]

Jennifer,

 

I didn't reply earlier, but have enjoyed this thread. I'm so glad it is going well for you! I have 4 dc and always had the olders in school and the youngers with me at home. I've loved working more one-on-one with the youngers while the bigger ones are gone. Then, when the biggers come home I sort of gear things towards them (read aloud, let them talk more and "first", etc.). However, this year all 4 are in ps and it's very hard to give them all attention in those after-school hours.....so enjoy those precious times with your youngers! Like yours, my dc do enjoy each other after school. I try very hard to get all of my housework done during the day, so I can just plain enjoy them in the afternoon and evening.

 

Shay

[Ericaand4kids]

My 7 & 9 yr old went back to school this year after 2 yrs of homeschooling. My 7 yr old son had only been to pre-k half days before. My daughter had done k & 1st. He started last week and hated it!!! I was ready to pull him out already! He wasn't paying attention and didn't know what was going on and kept getting in trouble for not doing his work. Now after two weeks and a conference w/his teacher I believe he is starting to like it!! He has made a friend and has a new seat and some new motivation for trying to pay attention. He is my shy and quiet and sensitive child, but he is adjusting! Had things not already started to get better, I was going to ask for a teacher change, but I think we are good for now. I do feel he has too much homework for 2nd grade. My 9 yr old daughter is doing good and likes it and hasn't complained one bit and I swear she has less homework than my second grader, but really she probably just does it faster!

I think it is just important to stay involved and know what is going on and don't be afraid to step in where appropriate, of course I suppose for older kids they may not want you to! ;)

~Erica