Transition from homeschool to private HS

[Catherine]

I'm hoping to find some wisdom here from others who've gone before. I have three boys: one is in college, after homeschooling grades 7-8, returning to high school for ninth, then back home again 10-12 with an extra year thrown in there as an exchange student. Middle homeschooled 4-8, now junior in math-science magnet school, and has had some struggles. Youngest is the only one who's never been in brick and mortar school, and this post is about him. He's in seventh grade this year.

 

I attended a private school fair yesterday. The admissions director for one school (one I'm very interested in BTW) asked me if he'd ever been in a class of any kind. He hasn't. Then he immediately asked me his age and strongly suggested I have him repeat eighth grade so he'd have "the gift of time" (not the only time I heard this euphemism yesterday) because so many boys need that extra year for social and physical development. This ds has a June birthday and of the three of them, I have the least worries about his social and physical development being on track.

 

I was a bit taken aback. First, I'm irritated that there is a presumption that only an outside class qualifies as preparation for high school. I expected this applying to college, but to high school?? I have reason to suspect that this school is hurting for enrollment and I doubt they are turning away hundreds of kids. They have made overtures to the homeschool community. Regardless, I'm interested in hearing from anyone who's made this transition successfully, or has an opinion on the subject! Has red-shirting benefitted your child? Did you do it and then regret it? Thoughts in general on the transition to private high school? Thank you!

[Mom22ns]

I was a bit taken aback. First, I'm irritated that there is a presumption that only an outside class qualifies as preparation for high school. I expected this applying to college, but to high school??

 

I have no comment at all on the private school as we haven't done that. However, we have not found this attitude in any of the colleges we have spoken to so far. 

[Candid]

How long has the school been in business? If they have a track record the administrator maybe speaking from experience. 

 

However, it is becoming increasingly the case that schools suggest holding back even bright children. Our local day school rarely accepts any child for K until they are 6. They administer a test, but I've never heard of any child being admit until they are 6. It makes me figure that they are making things easier for themselves by having maturer children overall. 

 

Depending on when you need to make this decision, you can do some things to assess your son to determine if holding him back as recommended would be a good idea. 

 

He could take a single class at the school, an elective with multiple age levels and you could use feedback to guide you.

 

OR you could try another source for a class or two (for outside classes, I'd let them know up front that at the end of the class you'd like to get honest feedback then follow up at the end of the class).

 

You could also use standardized testing to help guide you. Ideally, using a test the school uses would give you a good comparison of your son's scores to their scores. This direct comparison will help more than an overall average because it is possible a school's students would preform on average better pr worse than the test's norm. 

[Catherine]

Hmm, very good thought to have him take an outside class. I actually looked for something online earlier this year but didn't find much. Our state's public schools do not accept students who are not enrolled full time. Neither do the private schools, though this school actually tried to offer classes to homeschoolers a couple of years ago, but couldn't find anyone willing to pay their requested tuition.

 

Off to look for classes...

[Barbara H]

To me it seems really inappropriate for anyone to advise a student repeat a grade solely based on their birthdate, gender, and experience with outside classes. There is a HUGE range of normal development for students heading into 8th or 9th grade. It may be that your son comes in and is one of the most socially and academic mature of the students in his class. They have no way of knowing that without actually interviewing and spending time with him. Is it possible for your son to "shadow" and spend a day or two at the school?

 

As far as an "outside class" - there are many ways to get group experience. Homeschool co-op classes, church youth groups, scouts, etc. Sure, some kids have to work harder to understand social rules, but for more socially typical kids it isn't like it necessarily takes a lot of repetition of traditional classroom experiences to understand the basics - wait your turn, respect your teachers, follow classroom rules, etc.  FWIW, I've seen many homeschoolers who have never been in classes go straight into the classroom with no problem at all.

[mom2bee]

I have not Been There Done That advice, but could you ask them about a) placement tests and b) evalutions?

 

I don't like blanket statements/policies at all and that idea about boys needing the "gift of time" seems a bit...sexist?

 

What is acceptable in 8th and 9th graders as far as academics, social, physical and personal developments is a spectrum and the range for "normal" is broad.

 

Based on my observations, if your kid uses table manners, practices good hygeiene and can interact with peers for 3+ hours with minimal supervision, make decisions that align with his values and follow instructions he's got many of the university Freshmen and Sophomoresin my town beat by a long ways....

[mommaduck]

The opposite happened to my son. He was transferring from homeschool to private school also. He technically was supposed to be going into 8th. The highschool decided to test him and they told us not to bother with 8th as it would be a waste of his time. This was in an area that was very familiar with homeschooling and had a lot of transfers in the upper grades....and they LOVED homeschooled transfers. My son did GREAT! In fact, he LOVED it.

[MIch elle]

Our eldest son homeschooledl K-8, then attended a large all boys Catholic high school.  They NEVER asked any questions about his homeschool work or outside classes.  The test results are what they look at (Catholic High School Placement Exam).  He has a Feb birthday.  It would have been so wrong to hold my ds back for many reasons.  He's physically and mentally mature for his age.  He's successfully completed high school and is now a college sophomore.

 

Do they have a placement test?  I DO NOT agree with what you were told. 

 

 

[QumaCote]

We had a very bad private school experience (in Orange County, CA), so the admissions director's comments make me suspicious. We had recently moved and were struggling to meet people, so we enrolled our "always been homeschooled" children in 6th grade & 2nd grade in the private school. I had spoken at length with the Head Master, and it sounded perfect. Classical education in addition to strong math, science, & technology. Our children had to test to enroll in the school. We were lead to believe that we "barely made it into the school", and our children would have to work extremely hard to keep up with the other students.

 

Our children were more organized and on top of their assignments than the other students who had always attended school. (My son changed classrooms and had multiple teachers.) My son and one other gifted student were frequently the only ones that had their assignments completed correctly and on time. My son spent math class every day helping the other students in class because he was an entire book ahead of the rest of the class in addition to being the youngest student in the class. He then had to come home and do his math homework--after teaching himself the assignment. The teachers all loved my kids because they were focused, did their work, and wanted to learn. (Now if they were only that focused at home with me!)

 

The school was great at highlighting the one or two kids in the school that were doing amazing things which at the interview I assumed were all different students--not 10 stories about the same student. I would want a placement test and would attempt to talk with other families in the school and not just the two families they select for you as references. Will they let you come see the school and talk with the teachers? Also, how long have the teachers been teaching at the school? After our experience, I would run from any school that has high teacher turn-over. How long have most of the families been at the school? The school we attended could get people to enroll, but not to stay.

 

Sorry for my "rant", and I hope that is helpful to you in some fashion. I know my son is just beginning 8th grade, but I cannot imagine making him repeat it!

 

Best of luck in your decision!

[Laura Corin]

Calvin is very young for his year - he'll be 17 1/2 when he finishes school.  His school was fine with this - he had already done some 'high school' level exams and received good marks, so there was evidence that he was academically capable.  He also took the school placement test.

 

That being said, he had a lot to learn in his first year at school - mostly the social side of things.  He came through though.

 

L

[Catherine]

The school is a very well-established, longstanding respected private prep school. I don't have concerns about the quality of its academics. I am not surprised to hear of your experience, QumaCote, because I'm just not that trusting of schools, public or private. Experience has taught me that they are not necessarily the benign entities, always considering my child's best interests, that they would like us to believe. Hence my questioning. I actually had an opportunity to chat with aa parent I know whose boys all go there and she laughed his comment off as not well-thought-out. She suggested I trust my instincts on this one! I will definitely do that.

 

However, I do think I'm going to check out a class of some kind that is a real academic class, because I'd also like to see how he does.

 

I guess one aspect of the application process that really rubs me the wrong way is the need for my child to "sell himself" to the admissions people. I realize it's part of the process, believe me, after sending one kid off to college, I realize it big time. But that doesn't make it any less irritating or distasteful. My kids are definitely NOT gifted self-promoters. And I like it that way.

[Teachin'Mine]

I'm sure the thought has occurred that putting him back a year gives them another year of tuition ...   :tongue_smilie:

 

IMO I'd do a test and go with your gut.  In worst case scenario, he finds he's not yet ready for high school and drops back to 8th.  No harm done.  But going from 8th to 9th, within the same year, wouldn't be nearly as simple.

 

ETA:  Now I'm confused because I just re-read your first post.  If he's in 7th this year, wouldn't he go into 8th next year?  Or would he be attending the year after next?   Or are you in the southern hemisphere and I'm totally off-base?   lol

[Catherine]

I'm being proactive and looking at schools a year before he has to actually apply. I hope to narrow our possibilities by doing this so that he doesn't spend a lot of time the following year visiting and looking at schools. My hope is to narrow the possibilities to less than 5, encourage him to visit them all, apply to the ones he is most interested in, or all of them, and then see what happens. Yes, it looks like lots of standardized testing will be a part of this. Oh, joy.

[Teachin'Mine]

Thanks for the explanation.  My guess is they'd like to add a student in 8th grade as private schools often have openings in 8th grade.  I would think you'll know whether he should repeat 8th or go into 9th when it comes time to apply.   I wouldn't let the school decide unless they have test scores and other evidence that he wouldn't be ready.

[Julie of KY]

I'd look at where he belongs academically and put him there. I would not repeat 8th grade for social or age reasons.