Anxiety, Burn out?, need some good ideas

[mommymilkies]

What are some things that really help when your anxiety is high, life is super stressful, and you find yourself not really enjoying anything anymore?  I feel really guilty that I don't spend enough real quality time with my kids, that I'm always rushing.  Or I don't really enjoy their company sometimes.  This feeling is all new to me. Anxiety is not new, but the feeling of almost restless discomfort.  I'm breastfeeding, so there's not a whole lot, medicinal or herbal, that I can take and I have some medical issues the doctors aren't addressing.  I exercise regularly, eat healthy, take magnesium and Wellbutrin, and I'm taking classes to finish my degree, hopefully.

 

In particular I'm looking for anecdotes, articles, blogs, books, etc. on how to regain some joy and balance. 

 

Please don't quote as I may delete for privacy later.

[mom2bee]

There is a blog...1000 Awesome Things or something...Yes, her it is.

 

Plus, I enjoy short, brisk walks in the cool dark of the night on my families property. ( I know you exercise, but walking at night is FUN!)

Oh, the Daily Kitten has pictures of cute kittens every day that are a joy to look at! They probably have a daily puppy blog too, but I haven't ever looked.

 

I am kind of stuck in the restless discomfort thing right now too. I think it is wonderlust--I had always dreamt of traveling at this age yet life hasn't worked out that way just yet.

 

 

[mommymilkies]

I definitely have the wonderlust.  I joke to dh that I have some gypsy in my bloodline somewhere.  I've moved almost every year for most of my life, and we've been here for 4 years! 

 

And kittens always help. :)  My cat/best friend died this summer and I still don't feel recovered.  That was a huge loss to me.

[Dandelion]

When I'm feeling that way, it's usually because I've either fallen into a rut or I feel like I'm not in control of my life.  Two different, but somewhat related, feelings.

 

If it's a rut, I try to schedule something fun and/or out of the ordinary.  I'll make an extra effort to get together with a friend, or go out with DH for a special date.  If I feel like the kids and I are stuck in the same old routine, I'll plan a fun day with them doing something we don't normally do.  If I need downtime, I'll ask my mom to watch the kids and I'll schedule a nice relaxing afternoon just for me.  Usually, an afternoon or evening away like that helps shift my perspective and I come back with renewed energy.

 

At other times, those feelings come from feeling out of control and overwhelmed with the busy-ness of life.  If that's the case, I sit down and map out what I need to do to get things back under control.  Like you, I sometimes feel that I'm not spending enough quality time with my kids - so I'll build that into my plan.  Just having an action plan that identifies the current issues or gaps in my life, and how to address them, immediately reduces my anxiety and helps me feel better about things.  It helps me clear out the mental clutter (by getting it all out on paper) and identifies the path forward.  

 

Two books that I've found helpful over the years (specifically with respect to dealing with these kinds of feelings) are Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and Creating a Charmed Life.  Both are the kind of book you can go to for a quick pick-me-up (the chapters are only about 2 pages long) but they're chock full of life wisdom.  I've had both of these books for about 10 years now, and I refer to one or the other at least once a week.  Both are excellent for helping shift your perspective when you're feeling down/stressed/anxious/etc.

 

As for blogs, I really like Zen Habits. 

 

HTH! 

[klmama]

When I feel that way, just exercising isn't enough.  It needs to be fun!!!  I need to dance to music I love and can sing along with.  I turn on my favorite music (that I usually have forgotten to listen to for months) and I dance and sing and feel a lot better!  I make the dc dance with me, and even though they complain at first, they end up enjoying it, too.  It helps connect us to each other again as we dance and laugh together.  We'll do this every day for a week or two, and it seems to get us all back on the right track. 

[pushplaylearning]

This may or may not be for you, but it works for me.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3J_O2q2BOM

[freeindeed]

I am struggling with this, too. I am following this thread. I need some ideas.

[GWOB]

Sigh. This is another crappy homeschool year for me. My dad died two months ago (I'm ok. No hijack/comforting necessary.) I spent my summer caring for him and traveling to and from his home 900 miles away. I'm trying the KISS method for homeschooling this year. Again. I'm trying to get out and see the limited local educational sights. I've outsourced some things that are important to me but that I currently lack the brainpower to teach (Latin, Logic, piano, PE). I'm sticking to reading/writing, math, history, and science. Netflix is my BFF. I'm trying to eat better. I'm taking happy vitamins. Exercise is my next step. My dh is stepping up like a champ. I'm trying to take control of the sleeping thing.

 

I'll let you know how all of this is going. I keep trying to tell myself this is a season. It will pass. I think I'm full of poop at this point. ;) I just tell myself I've only hit mile 13 in a marathon. Things should hurt right now. The magical second wind is coming. Eventually.

 

If it gets too bad, I'll suck it up and ask my homeschool-unfriendly doctor for meds. I can handle his judgement, bless his judgemental heart.

[GWOB]

You made me laugh twice in your post.

 

Against your wishes, I send you a hug. And that is a double whammy as I am not a hugger.

 

The judgmental doc comment gave me a grin, too.

 

I think you know more than you think you know. I might have to stalk you.

 

:•)

You know way, way more than I do!!! I sorta stalk you! ;)

[Rosyl]

SLEEP and eat

[Kim in Appalachia]

You sound exhausted.  You have 6 kids, one is a baby, you are homeschooling and you are taking classes? That is a lot on your plate.  Step back a moment and realize you are working a demanding full time job (homeschooling) handling a baby, and taking classes.  It's a rough load.  First, cut yourself some slack.  Wanting a little time away from your kids is ok. And it's very normal to feel some wanderlust.  Don't feel guilty about it.  Since you are nursing a weekend away alone can't quite happen. But maybe you and the baby could go somewhere and get away for a day or two.

 

Second, I know you're breastfeeding, but if you continue feeling really blue please see a doctor about medication.  How old is the baby?  How soon till you wean?  Some drugs are considered safe with breastfeeding (I know I would be nervous, but they may be necessary). 

 

Are you doing all of the teaching for your kids?  Are you in a co-op?  Maybe in the future some could do some online classes.  You need help with your load.  

 

:grouphug:  I hope this post comes across right. I feel for you.   I still remember how hard it was when my youngest was a baby and we were trying to do US swimming and music lessons.  I was wiped out all of the time and definitely had stimulation overload.   

[mommymilkies]

GWOB, I am being subversive and sending you hugs, anyway. :grouphug:  I hear you on the judgmental doctors.

 

I feel like...after you get really scared and your adrenaline rushes.  That feeling where you just feel drained completely and still on edge.  Like one more small thing and you're totally going to snap.

 

I have 5 kids, the youngest is 2 but not done nursing.  Zoloft was not good for me, and Wellbutrin is what I have now, but I think it's making my anxiety worse.  The problem is that I know exactly what I need to get out of some of this funk, but it's just not really possible. I just bought a bunch of CGP and GP books for the kids to be a little more independent with, so I hope that helps.  I would like online classes, but I can't really afford them in any way and we don't have free K12 here.

 

Thanks, everyone.

[upincanada]

I am sorry that you are in this sort of space.  Life can seem so overwhelming sometimes.  

 

What you just said about being drained but still distressed...I had that, and it was my thyroid.  

I was in bad enough shape mentally that I went to a psychologist, and she bounced me back to my family doctor for blood tests...thyroid, iron profile, vitamin D...can't remember what else.   You said something about other medical issues so you may have already gone this route, but I figure it's worth mentioning.

 

Also, on the general mental health front, I find Ann Voskamp's blog "1000 gifts" to be helpful.  

[mommymilkies]

My tsh was 1.something a couple weeks ago and I do need my D and iron levels checked. I feel similar to when I had thyroidtoxicosis 11 years ago, but my thyroid has been fine. I know my adrenal levels were a bit crazy last they checked, but not Addison's Disease. I'm trying to find a new doctor. :glare:

 

I have heard that's a great book.  I will have to try to find it on ILL.

[creekland]

I need to have some travel in my life and variance or I get the exact same way - feeling overwhelmed and in a rut at the same time.  When economic times were good, we just traveled - seriously - 20 minutes (even now) and I could be ready to go somewhere.

 

Then economic times got bad and the stress rose... we picked up geocaching and discovered a whole new way of traveling (free - except for gas money).  The kids loved it.  We could explore close to home or far away (naturally, with bad economic times, close to home "won" more often).  We found so many places we didn't know existed both in small towns and the woods (we're not fond of big city caches).

 

Some days when the feelings were overwhelming we just dropped everything and left with some caches in our GPS and a packed lunch.  It was wonderful.  We ALL enjoyed it - the kids still talk about the things we did and places we discovered now.  Hubby and I still get a new cache (or more) in on our anniversary trips.  It's not just for poor economic times, but it's inexpensive when those hit.