1bassoon Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Situation: In the summer, I run camps in the summer - science camps for kids about ages 8-12ish. A dear friend of mine wants her 4 kids to attend. But here's the kicker: her oldest is 15, and has Asperger's. I normally am fine with dealing with kids on the spectrum. I've taught them off and on for quite some time. But the structure of the camp - 3 hours each morning, and I'm the only one in charge - makes it hard for me to have the structure I think he'd need to be successful. And honestly? I'm not sure I'm up to it. The last time I babysat for him - which, granted, was a few years ago - he ran off from me, sat about 1/4 mile down the hill from us, and I had to get his mom to come and get him. Any advice? I hate, hate, HATE that I'm not feeling like I can handle him being there. I know it will be hard for her to hear, but I'm only one person. I'm not sure that I can manage his special needs and provide a quality experience for the other kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I think admitting how you feel will be fine. Hopefully he could have a qualified full time helper-assistant to ensure he does fine. (His mom or dad could easily fill this role or may have ideas of who would.) Personally, I'd much rather hear a difficult truth or speak it than have a child end up in danger. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I would want someone's honest opinion. I usually get people insisting ds will be fine, but then I'm met with complaints about his behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You have got to do what you need to do in this situation, whether it hurts her feelings or not. That being said, can you tell her that the oldest one is too old, (because it is for 8-12 year olds) and you really can't let a 15 year old in the class. Also I think it's pretty dangerous to have a special needs child in the class and only one teacher. Could you tell her that her four kids can come, BUT she needs to stay and help you out. Frankly, she may not like you saying any of this but it has to be said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnIslandGirl Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I realize the situation is sensitive because it's a friend, but if you voice your concerns to her she may see that it's just not the right environment for her son to be in. Hopefully you can work it out. Although... depending on the size of your camp and it's funding, unfortunately you may not have a choice. Even though our yacht club (private membership) hosts a summer camp, we are not allowed to exclude any children with disabilities. Wile there are certainly exclusions such as they must be able to toilet unassisted, etc. I would be prepared to have a counselor assigned to assist him as needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I wouldn't make exceptions for the age range of the class. I don't for my class. I teach a class for 6th-12th, I had lots of people, friends too, ask me to make an exception and I simply make it a rule to stick to my rules for my own class. If you are the only person teaching, clearly a child with special needs would benefit from having a helper in the class, I wouldn't mind suggesting it to the Mom at all and if I felt I couldn't handle it alone I would say so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JNW Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 If you think about it from the perspective of the other parents, it's really not fair to the majority of the group. So I agree with the suggestion that a parent or assistant attends with him, no exceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 If the age limits aren't that firm and your only issue is that this particular kid is difficult to manage, then I would ask a parent to attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted May 14, 2013 Author Share Posted May 14, 2013 You are all so right - and the deal is, she wants to send her oldest 5 kids (she has 9; he's the oldest of the 9) to camp with me and my daughter (she does ballet camps) for the week. I don't think she'd be able to stay. About to email her now - I know she'll be understanding, but it's still hard. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You are all so right - and the deal is, she wants to send her oldest 5 kids (she has 9; he's the oldest of the 9) to camp with me and my daughter (she does ballet camps) for the week. I don't think she'd be able to stay. About to email her now - I know she'll be understanding, but it's still hard. :( If she's not understanding about this, she's not a very good friend. Sometimes it's easy enough to see what you should do, but harder to actually do it when real live people are involved :grouphug: . I hope it goes well, and good for you for not burying your head in the sand and having some out of control situation arise during camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You are doing the right thing. Please, also consider that, regardless of whether this child attends or not, you should have another adult there during the camps in case any child gets sick, needs extra help, has behavior problems, etc. That extra adult is for your benefit and safety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 double post, sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 If your age guidelines are loose, you could say that children with special needs must provide their own 1:1 aide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted May 14, 2013 Author Share Posted May 14, 2013 She just emailed me and proposed finding an aid. . .so that's good! Thanks for all your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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