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[Uff Da!]

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[Paige]

Maybe just time....my twins used to spend almost the entire story time at the library on the floor with their heads down to the floor and their arms covering their heads. I think they were about 2-3. They were incredibly shy. If they happened to peek and saw someone looking at them, they'd cry and go back to covering their heads and eyes. I don't know what their issue really was. They are identical and so since birth they have attracted a lot of attention and staring and have always hated it. I had friends who knew them since babies who did not see them smile or talk until they were about 4! At home they were very chatty and cheerful. I kept taking them to places and put them in preschool (where they did not talk for months), and kept taking them to playdates (where they spent the entire time wrapped around my legs for what seemed like forever), and now at almost 9 they are perfectly normal. They outgrew it slowly. They are still quiet and a little more shy than some other kids, but they don't cower anymore and they will play with other kids, and speak to adults if spoken to. I think putting them in martial arts helped. You'd probably have to wait a few years, but it helps with assertiveness. My girls spent the first couple of months of that with their heads on the floor in the back of the class too, but now they are brown belts and really good. I think the main thing that helped was to keep taking them out and keep exposing them to people and to keep on pushing past their comfort zone.

[mom2bee]

I would work on teaching him about safety. Pretending to be a rock is okay, but you can not be a rock in the parking lot. Period. You could be killed.

Also, he can be a rock so long as he comes immediately when he is called. He must come to mommy and daddy if he hears that he is being called. No matter what.

 

I'm not 100% sure what is being asked. If he isn't regressing verbally or emotionally, and his behavior when not being a rock is not concerning you, he seems to be on age level (I think the rock thing is semi-common. I know lots of kids 'hide' in various ways. I did. I liked being underneath coaches, chairs, beds, etc...) then it doesn't seem to be a problem.

 

Has his pediatrician expressed concern about him? Are you noticing any other red flags? I don't think being a rock is a problem. I think being a rock in a parking lot is as close to the end of the world as you can get without actually having a child hospitalized or killed.

[Uff Da!]

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[Kathy G]

_{My introverted son used to act that way before he realized he was overwhelmed. Our first boy scout meeting was a complete failure- he sat against the wass in a room with 100 active boys running around. In any large group setting where the is not control of children he didn't do well. Once he was about 5-6 years old we had discussed it enough that he knew to verbalize to me that it was too much. I will say that I found the boy scout meetings overwhelming too- about 90% of the parents just dropped off their kids and expected the 10% of those who stayed to watch everyone. Uncontrolled chaos. Have you tried preschool? It might be a good way to get him used to groups where there is more control. My 3 kids have all been sensitive to certain books. Even Wocket in my Pocket made one cry- the vug had to stay under the rug. (nope-I don't understand either...stopped trying)}

 

_{"The Introvert Advantage" was a good book for us to understand. It helped me too as I was a very introverted child (and now adult) The term "networking time" at any conference sends shudders up my spine! LOL}

 

_{http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-Thrive-Extrovert-World/dp/0761123695}

 

_Kathy

[bakpak]

I think he's handling his over-sensitivity pretty well (apart from the parking lot example). My friend's little boy would always just scream shrilly (and sometimes hit) once he'd reached his limit of noise. If you were okay with it, you could let him leave or move away from the group for awhile until it quieted down. My DD3.5 often gets overwhelmed by noise and I usually suggest to her that we go outside for awhile. She always immediately agrees. If my DH is around, he's quite happy to escape as well. Maybe work on a code word/phrase for the two of you, even if it's just 'would you like to move somewhere quieter for awhile?' My DD has gotten better over time, so I'd just continue to talk to your son about what he's feeling and discuss possible solutions. See if turning into a 'rock' makes him feel safe or if he's just trying to make things quieter. Or who knows, maybe he just likes to absorb all the sounds to their fullest without the visual stimulation :)

[Rebecca VA]

I'd get him out more often, in settings of just a few quiet children at a time. He needs to be socialized, but at a slower pace than most children. I would make "socialization" a huge priority. You might want to read Temple Grandin's books to learn how her mother insisted on socialization every day, and how it made all the difference in Temple's life. (I'm not suggesting at all that your child has autism, but Temple did want to shut down and not be socialized, and her mother insisted on that she practice manners, social rules, and other social skills every day.)

[ThoughtfulMama]

I think there is a reason Yoga has that position called "child's pose" and my 5 year old does it too, though mostly when he is upset.

I suggest the book "The Highly Sensitive Child" which gave me permission to allow some sensitivity and respect that sometimes kids just need space.

[kiwik]

Is he an only child? Does he want to leave when he becomes a rock or his he quite happy to be there on his own terms? If so I'd just let him be near the back of the room where he can be a rock (but not in the carpark! and not as a way of avoiding what he is being told to do). Also screen his stories and screen carefully. My older son can only watch a Handful of things on DVD, nothing on TV and I couldn't read the the 3 Billy goats gruff to him until he was nearly 5.

[Tanikit]

Are you certain that "being a rock" is really to escape things that overwhelm him - how much attention have you given to this behaviour as he may also like causing a reaction from you. My DD pretended to be a dog all the time (she still likes doing so at age 5) Have you tried asking him why he wants to be a rock and then letting him pretend to be a stone or a pebble or even a waterfall too? While he may be doing this as a security issue he then needs to be shown ways of developing other ways of behaving that still make him feel secure. He is only 3 - while he needs some socialisation he is still very young and perhaps he just needs time to be around other children without having to participate or play in any way - he needs to find his own space.

[Uff Da!]

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[Uff Da!]

The book I have is "The Sensitive Child" by Janet Poland and I think the book Thoughtful Mama recommended is written by Elaine Aron. So I have one more book to add to my reading list. Thanks for all the suggestions!

[jenbrdsly]

Have you looked at The Out of Sync Child? Does your son have any other issues, like not wanting to wear socks, not wanting to wear itchy clothes, or not liking loud noises?

[Uff Da!]

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