nikkistone Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 What does it look like to stop school temporarily and work on character traits (motivation, attitude, obedience, respect,etc) ? We will be new to homeschooling in the fall, and I've heard from different sources that, if you notice behavioral problems, it's a good idea to stop schooling and just work on that character aspect of your children. What does that practically look like? Anyone here done just that? I'm anticipating a little bit of push back in the fall (not much, but some) and some obedience issues (acting silly after I've told them to settle down and work). Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I'm interested to hear what others say. I can't picture how it would work. If my kids weren't doing school, they would be playing. If I felt character traits needed to be worked on, I would work on them while doing school. Good luck with your homeschooling. :thumbup: I hope you all enjoy it. We love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Well Simply Charlotte Mason has a new resource that they just released called Laying Down the Rails for Children: A Habit-Training Companion http://simplycharlottemason.com/store/laying-down-the-rails-for-children-a-habit-training-companion/ it goes along with their original Laying Down the Rails http://simplycharlottemason.com/store/laying-down-rails-charlotte-mason-habits/. I have found habit training very very useful. We focus on one habit at a time. You will see from the table of contents that habits include character traits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkistone Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Well Simply Charlotte Mason has a new resource that they just released called Laying Down the Rails for Children: A Habit-Training Companion http://simplycharlot...ning-companion/ it goes along with their original Laying Down the Rails http://simplycharlot...e-mason-habits/. I have found habit training very very useful. We focus on one habit at a time. You will see from the table of contents that habits include character traits. Thanks for the resource! I just ordered the original book. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 What does it look like to stop school temporarily and work on character traits (motivation, attitude, obedience, respect,etc) ? We will be new to homeschooling in the fall, and I've heard from different sources that, if you notice behavioral problems, it's a good idea to stop schooling and just work on that character aspect of your children. What does that practically look like? Anyone here done just that? I'm anticipating a little bit of push back in the fall (not much, but some) and some obedience issues (acting silly after I've told them to settle down and work). Thanks in advance! IMHO, it is all part of our children's education; that you work less on formal academics and more on character and behavioral issues at different times is irrelevant. Teaching children to read and write and cipher but neglecting their character is a bad trade-off. How it actually looks is that you might still have some formal academics but you're not stressed about finishing the math page because you've had to snuggle and correct and even discipline for the behavior that needs correcting. You cannot spend all day long working on just character, after all. :-) (although personally, I don't consider "motivation" a character trait, depending on what you mean by that; some people thinks it means that children are self-motivated to get up at the crack of dawn and do all their Official School Stuff before breakfast). It might also look like letting the children sleep in the morning until they are finished sleeping, learning basic homekeeping skills such as making their beds before breakfast and cleaning up after themselves, learning to use public transportation (if it even exists where you live, lol) and the public library, going on outings in the middle of the week while the weather is nice, and so on. It's all education, but not feeling tied to a pile of books leaves freedom to allow the children time to be themselves (or to find themselves, because sometimes the tedium of classroom education causes them to be lost) and provide opportunities for real-life character development. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I don't stop to school to work on character issues. I think schoolwork is the PERFECT tool to reveal and teach character, so I use it as that. To me, it's not a distraction from real life or training godly character - it's a means to do just that. Math can be hard. It can be frustrating. It can be humbling. Awesome. Doing things over, asking for help, and working hard to get the work done are all very important character lessons. Writing neatly, receiving instruction with a teachable heart - all character lessons that can be taught while doing math - not in spite of it. I would look at a list of character traits that you think need work - and see how your school day can help with the training. Teachable heart an issue (or humility?) - work on politely asking for and receiving help... saying thank you... graciousness... Attention to detail? - work on writing out each step (or doing it over)... neatness... thoroughness in work... dawdling - work with a timer... set reasonable time limits to work with consequences... being a team player - listen to a younger sibling read... waiting patiently for help... helping with a math problem... handing frustration - asking politely for help when frustrated... self regulation... etc. having a good attitude toward work - too many opportunities to list!! LOL!! Yes, teaching takes longer when the lesson is a means not an end - but it's so worth it and both character and academics are taught. And yes, I believe real life also teaches a million lessons about character but it irks me when academics are discarded for "real life" lessons when schoolwork is such a great tool. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Almost forgot! Two things we've been doing since the weather is nice to add more real life with school time is: Night School - math in the morning, history and science at night (reading and piano get done throughout the day). Lots of time to explore, play, work. help, but school isn't completely neglected. Project Fridays - Math in the morning, Quick history test. Then - work. Yard work. House work. Clean. Home repair. Help others. Work. It's good for them. And I get stuff done. Science at night (we use BJU online so it's kind of fun to lay in bed and watch the video together - yeah - homeschool movie night LOL!!!!!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 What does it look like to stop school temporarily and work on character traits (motivation, attitude, obedience, respect,etc) ? We will be new to homeschooling in the fall, and I've heard from different sources that, if you notice behavioral problems, it's a good idea to stop schooling and just work on that character aspect of your children. What does that practically look like? Anyone here done just that? I'm anticipating a little bit of push back in the fall (not much, but some) and some obedience issues (acting silly after I've told them to settle down and work). Thanks in advance! If someone says they "stopped schooling" then they may mean they stopped using whatever formal textbooks and materials they use to teach academic subjects for a period of time to address the other issue. Often the period of time is not very long at all. For example, the working on the character trait of obedience might just involve telling the child to put down their schoolwork and sending the child to complete some chore that was assigned earlier. Then the previously assigned school work spills over into scheduled playtime. ie, family "schools" from 9-2, but when mom notices child's bed unmade and clean laundry not put away, child is sent to do assigned chores and then instead of having usual free time at 2, freetime doesn't come until 2:30. Similarly, negative attitudes can get corrected right away. Stop the "formal" planned schooling and address the attitude by assigning some previously unplanned written assignment, like an essay on the value of smiling or copywork of a positive poem, etc. Those are just some ideas. We often cover and discuss character education as part of our religious studies. In the past, I have sometimes taken bigger portions of our school day to spend time on a "character education class", which involved things like reading a book on children's manners and creating some other manners-related lesson plans to go along with, when I felt we needed to devote greater attention to the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Another idea might be to take some time this summer to "nip in the bud" those character issues you are anticipating. Read stories and discuss obedience, right heart attitudes, diligence etc. Sometimes talking about issues when you are not right in the middle of them is helpful. Best wishes to you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Another idea might be to take some time this summer to "nip in the bud" those character issues you are anticipating. Read stories and discuss obedience, right heart attitudes, diligence etc. Sometimes talking about issues when you are not right in the middle of them is helpful. Best wishes to you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Character is who you are...when you do school...when you do chores......when you play. There are days, I am sure, when my dc wish I would stop schooling and work on a personal-mom-character-curriculum that would make me tender, kind and sweet......I wonder what a gentle-mom-teacher character curriculum would look like...is there a reward system with coffee and chocolate, or getting to buy a new pair of yoga pants? Would I need to send the kids to PS to work on my character issues?? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Character traits do not exist in isolation, but in the context of a situation - so working on character in isolation as opposed to of the context of the problem seems ineffective, if not impossible, to me. If my kids have behavioral issues that interfere with schooling they are addressed then. In fact, school work is the perfect opportunity to build character, if the work is of an appropriate level for the student. The student learns diligence, hard work, frustration tolerance, attention to detail, humility, cooperation... If I have a lazy student who is not diligent about school work, I don't see how stopping school work would possibly help. If I notice a problem with attitude, I will point it out right away. If the student is careless about school work, he will be redirected and the sloppy work redone as soon as I notice the issue. Now, I don't put much value on unquestioning obedience, so can't comment on this aspect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Character traits do not exist in isolation, but in the context of a situation - so working on character in isolation as opposed to of the context of the problem seems ineffective, if not impossible, to me. If my kids have behavioral issues that interfere with schooling they are addressed then.If I have a lazy student who is not diligent about school work, I don't see how stopping school work would possibly help. If I notice a problem with attitude, I will point it out right away. If the student is careless about school work, he will be redirected and the sloppy work redone as soon as I notice the issue. Now, I don't put much value on unquestioning obedience, so can't comment on this aspect. Stopping school to work on character never made any sense to me either. For me school is a large part of character training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I find my children behave better and have more fun, not to mention learn more, if kept busy learning and doing. I am not sure what working on character traits without paying attention to academics would look like, but I don't imagine anyone in my house, myself included, would like it very much. For what it's worth, I doubt my mother would describe me as having been particularly "well behaved" when I was a child, but neither am I sure that it was a quality she particularly cared about, frankly. Courtesy, curiosity, hard work and honesty were more important than obedience or social convention. Also, Charlotte Mason herself was firmly opposed to the behaviorist material that is often trotted out by some of those who claim to follow CM. She was very much against students doing things just to please teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arboreal TJ Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Manners/etiquette were not being caught in our house. I've scaled back school and started The Etiquette Factory, we are going through the parenting cards for We Choose Virtures, and our read alouds all come from Beatiful Feet's Teaching Character Through Literature guide. The Etiquette Factory is super cheesy. I would not force an older child to watch the DVD or sing the songs, and the quality is poor for the price, BUT my kids are really into it! We Choose Virtures, I'm only using the parenting cards, is hands down the best thing we are doing, it's good for them and me. BF's book selections are great too but less direct than EF and WCV. Good luck, I'm feeling your pain. My ID twins are the type of kids that must touch a hot burner several hundred times, complete with burns, before they figure out it's hot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Every year I spend the first month of school going over all this. I use my big bulletin board to post all my rules. We read and re-read it all month, we talk about about the rules and why they're so important, and how it feels to work in a classroom with no flow and respect. This year, in October, I took down all the rules and re-taped them inside our classroom closet. If someone goes wild on me I ask them to go spend a few minutes reading and pondering. :) Etiquette books, maybe once a year. Do you do tea with your kids? There are threads here to search on the subject if you're interested. It's a great way to sneak in practice of self control, being gracious, peaceful, etc. One year I broke down The Book of Virtues to a year long study. That was fun and easy. I don't think it's a good idea to only teach character study, that seems like precious teaching time lost. Maybe a summer thing? Start now! I do think it's worth all the effort to teach and re-teach though. I've found that setting the bar high settles into a very workable pleasant environment. You have to teach them how to be good workers and how to appreciate a well run school day. There's always conflict, mess, and attitude, but they love, love, love when school runs smooth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkistone Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Thanks, everyone, for your collective advice and experience. Truly invaluable. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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