I'm so sorry...can you stand another baby question from me? (sleeping thru the night)

[Janna]

I am sorry to continue to bring up questions regarding Atticus. It's just that this little guy is throwing me for a loop, acting completely different than my other two. I don't know if he's normal, if my other two were abnormal, or if the range of normal is so wide that they're all included in normal. Plus, you all are so darn smart, it just makes sense to ask you all first! :)

 

From birth he has slept 5 straight hours at night. At about 5 weeks he started sleeping 7-8 straight hours. At the time he had a pacifier that he relied heavily on. Last week, I stopped giving him the pacifier. It was masking issues that he was having (hunger, wet diaper etc) and it was beginning to wake him in the middle of the night so it could be put back in his mouth, causing all of us to have interrupted sleep. Since taking it away (we had one very rough day of his getting used to not having it) he has slept great, sucking on his fist if need be to fall asleep and no longer waking in the middle of the night. Until the night before last and last night.

 

For the last two nights, he's gone down at his regular time with his usual routine (bath, bottle, story, crib) but he's woken up, the first night at 4a.m, last night at 3:30a.m. seemingly hungry. So both nights we fed him. I'm wondering if we've made a big mistake.

 

He's 9 weeks old, over 10 lbs, was sleeping from 10pm to 5:38 am without being fed for weeks, and now he's not. We've been up and down since taking his pacifier - some really bad days, and a really bad night, but mostly good days, and it seems he's getting into a pretty good routine. Is this night-waking all of a sudden a growth spurt and he truly does need to be fed? If it is a growth spurt, does he need to be fed, or can and should he cry it out? If it is a growth spurt and we've been feeding him, is he going to be in this habit or naturally return to sleeping thru?

 

The situation is a little different this time around. For one, he's in the same room as dh and I (not co-sleeping. We have 3 bedrooms, but I don't want him sharing with his brother yet, so his crib is in our room for the time being) which makes it more of a struggle to let him cry it out if need be. Most of his crying it out has been during the day for a nap. A second thing is that I'm more relaxed about letting him cry it out than I was with my other two, and quite frankly he's had to cry it out a couple of times out of shear necessity. With my other two I didn't let them cry long at all before coming to their rescue. They slept thru the night regularly after 6 and 7 weeks. I don't remember either of them waking after sleeping thru for 3 straight days. And they slept thru longer hours. So I'm wondering if he's needing more holding and cuddling that I've given my other two but haven't as much with this one because well, I have 2 other kids and meals to make and lessons to plan for etc. Maybe he's feeling ill at ease? Don't get me wrong, he gets plenty of attention, just not as much holding.

 

What should we do? Feed him because it could be a growth spurt, or let him cry it out? I hate that whole ordeal of letting them cry only to discover they were crying for a reason - they're in pain, they're starving, etc. Similar to your child expressing he's sick, Mom thinks he's wanting to get out of some responsibility, she holds him to the responsibility and he pukes and is sick for the next 3 days, kwim?

 

What do you think? If you have questions, I'll do my best to answer if that will help. Thanks! Oh, and one more thing. His Dr. appt isn't until Aug. 6th. He hasn't had one since June 16th, but we found out there was a glitch with insurance and he doesn't have coverage until after July 31.

[Amy loves Bud]

First, Janna, :grouphug::grouphug:

 

This is so familiar to me, right down to is this baby normal, or were the first two normal. I am starting to come out of the fog, so there is hope!

 

I'll just give you my opinion on the crying bit. Before a baby is about six months old, when they cry, they cry because they need something. That need might be just to be held, but at 9 weeks it's a need, not a want. Your 9 week old is not manipulating you, he needs his mama! I always nursed on demand, even multiple times a night which was the case with Romy until 6 months. After around 6 months, I do think they sometimes figure out that crying gets action, so I'm a little tougher then when I'm sure all their physical needs are met.

 

Romy has the strongest need to suck I believe I've ever seen. My other two laughed at the pacifier. But this one? She would literally nurse non-stop all night in her sleep. Giving her the pacifier at night and naptime has saved me (and the Girls). Now I didn't end up giving it to her until later, so she manages to put it in herself. Maybe the pacifier isn't all bad?

 

Do you think you could go ahead and bring him into your bed after he wakes up? I know you aren't cosleeping, but maybe a compromise of bringing him in early morning would make everyone a little happier and well-rested. That may work and settle him down without a bottle. But if he still acts hungry at that point, I'd feed him. He is growing a lot right now!

 

Just my very disorganized thoughts!

 

Again :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Praying for you,

 

Amy, who is just coming out of the sleep-deprived first year fog

[Catherine]

this may be the problem. One of my kids was like this and would literally nurse for hours on end, for many months, and there's not much of any way to change that need.

 

You can simply ignore their cries and force them to live without it. I did not feel comfortable doing that, and spent many long hours holding and nursing this child. I cried plenty myself. It was *exhausting* and I was very sleep-deprived. So if you want answers from me, there aren't any. He grew up. That's all. I coped by getting dh to take him out, or leaving him for short periods when he was free on the weekends. I napped whenever I possibly could.

 

Have you ever heard the saying, "The days are long but the years are short"? It is so true.

 

Hugs and love to you. It sounds like you are really having a rough time and believe me I know how hard it feels. Sometimes a good cry really helped me during those days.

[Janna]

First, Janna, :grouphug::grouphug:

 

This is so familiar to me, right down to is this baby normal, or were the first two normal. I am starting to come out of the fog, so there is hope!

 

I'll just give you my opinion on the crying bit. Before a baby is about six months old, when they cry, they cry because they need something. That need might be just to be held, but at 9 weeks it's a need, not a want. Your 9 week old is not manipulating you, he needs his mama! I always nursed on demand, even multiple times a night which was the case with Romy until 6 months. After around 6 months, I do think they sometimes figure out that crying gets action, so I'm a little tougher then when I'm sure all their physical needs are met.

 

Romy has the strongest need to suck I believe I've ever seen. My other two laughed at the pacifier. But this one? She would literally nurse non-stop all night in her sleep. Giving her the pacifier at night and naptime has saved me (and the Girls). Now I didn't end up giving it to her until later, so she manages to put it in herself. Maybe the pacifier isn't all bad?

 

Do you think you could go ahead and bring him into your bed after he wakes up? I know you aren't cosleeping, but maybe a compromise of bringing him in early morning would make everyone a little happier and well-rested. That may work and settle him down without a bottle. But if he still acts hungry at that point, I'd feed him. He is growing a lot right now!

 

Just my very disorganized thoughts!

 

Again :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Praying for you,

 

Amy, who is just coming out of the sleep-deprived first year fog

 

Oh, I definitely don't think he's manipulating me. I'm just wondering if perhaps he thinks he's hungry, but he's really not, LOL. Or maybe he just wants to be held, but we think he wants to eat so we feed him. So I'm not sure at what point I need to know he doesn't *need* to eat, but we'll do something different - rock, cuddle, sing, swing, or just pat him on the back every 10 min or so and let him cry it out. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the pacifier. I don't know.

 

I'm glad you're coming out of the "fog", Amy! And thanks for the hugs and prayers. I don't feel like this is traumatizing by any means - just confusing. It doesn't help that it's been awhile and the memory is hazy, LOL.

 

:grouphug: back to you!

[Janna]

 

Have you ever heard the saying, "The days are long but the years are short"? It is so true.

 

Hugs and love to you. It sounds like you are really having a rough time and believe me I know how hard it feels. Sometimes a good cry really helped me during those days.

 

Oh, yes, that saying is *so* true! Very, very accurate and succinct.

 

Thanks for your encouragement. I don't feel like we're having a rough time, LOL, but apparently it's coming across that way? I'm just trying to figure my little guy out as quickly as I can so I can react appropriately and plan our days better. While sleep is interrupted (and has been since pregnancy, what with the multiple times getting up to use the bathroom, LOL), I don't actually, miraculously feel deprived. Dh has been a huge help in this area - much more than he was with my other two. So at least one of us takes a night to sleep while the other has "baby duty". I don't know where I'd be without him!

 

Thanks again!

[3lilreds in NC]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I know how you feel! The Snort started sleeping through the night pretty early on, but when we hit 4-5 months, he started waking up at least twice a night and sometimes more, for a month or so I think. It nearly killed me. My sister told me that around that time, your body goes from hormonal milk production to mechanical, and that he was working to increase my milk supply. It worked. :D

 

Now, at 9 weeks - I think he's probably hungry, or maybe just has that need to suck. I would feed him and put him back to bed. I don't have the heart to make the Snort cry it out, and he's going on 11 months. :) I think 9 weeks is too young to do the cry it out thing.

[Ellie]

(((Janna))) I feel your pain.

 

BUT I would encourage you to feed that baby during the night. IMHO he's way too young to be allowed to cry it out, especially because of the issues with the pacifiers. *I* would take him back to bed and nurse, but if you don't want to do that, maybe you could nurse him in the dark and put him back when he falls asleep.

 

I am not comfortable letting a baby cry during the night unless and until he is eating solids, especially a good supper. Otherwise he probably *needs* to eat in the middle of the night, KWIM?

[The Governess]

My dd1 slept through the night early on too, by about 8 weeks. But she did go through several periods of waking early after that. She did always go back to sleeping longer on her own at some point. I think most of the time when a baby has been sleeping through the night and then stops, there is something going on like a growth spurt, teething, or some other unmet need - maybe she was used to the extra sucking time on her pacifier and is trying to replace that?

 

I didn't let my dd cry it out until she was 8 or so months old, so I don't really know what advice to give regarding letting her cry it out at this age. When my dd1 woke early, I would always just bring her into my bed with me and let her nurse while I fell back asleep. It didn't seem to create any habits on her part, and she got to spend some extra snuggle time with me when she needed it. But I know that every family is different!

 

 

Good luck figuring out what is going on! It's so frustrating to backtrack on sleep habits....I have the same thing going on with my 2 year old, who has been waking up at 5 am for the last two weeks, ready to go for the day....:glare:

[Sue G in PA]

I feel for you, Janna. I'm right there with you. Jesse doesn't sleep through the night, yet. He has just started getting into a rhythm of sleeping from about 10pm until about 3am. I'm thrilled he does that. After the 3am feeding he'll go until around 6 or 7am.

 

Now, I'll be completely honest w/ you here. I am not a fan of letting an infant cry it out. Ever. Sometimes it is necessary (in the car driving and they start screaming...you just can't stop every 5 minutes or you'll never get anywhere!). I always tell my older kids, if you hear the baby crying and I can't get to him...get him! Babies this young don't know how to manipulate yet. Crying is how they get what they need. My little one has a strong need to suck and so this pacifier is a life-saver (and booKsaver!). I change him frequently (and since he is with me most of the day I know if he is wet or dirty), nurse on demand (I know you can't do this w/ formula feeding but that is OKAY...use the pacifier in btwn feedings if necessary), cuddle frequently (and if I'm not, big sibs are), hold him constantly. You can't spoil a newborn. You just can't.

 

Janna, I know how difficult it is to plan lessons, clean a house, fix dinner, play w/ other kids and give them attention with a newborn who demands you're attention all.the.time. Can you sling Atticus? I figure...Jesse will only be small for a short time and he might be our last. I want as much cuddle time as possible. So be it if my house is less-than-spotless or dinner is cereal and toast 2x each week or if school doesn't get started until late August (even if I planned for it to be Aug. 1).

 

As for nighttime...feed that baby when he wakes up. He could be going through a growth spurt or just needing some attention. If he's not hungry...he won't take the bottle. Then just cuddle w/ him and use the pacifier if need be. Hang in there my friend. It won't be like this forever! Savor his "smallness"!

[mommaduck]

Newborns are known to sleep more, your child is getting older. If your child is breastfed and going through a growth spurt, it's not uncommon for them to need to start nighttime nursing again. Just the way it goes. I wouldn't let them CIO...they are simply feeling a need and that's their only form of communication. Simply meet the need. No, it's not easy...but they do grow out of it again.

[kat19]

Here's our situation..

 

Jacob will be 4 months old on Monday. I don't let him cry it out.

He goes down anywhere between 10-11pm(usually after a bottle, not all the time) and he sleeps until around 4am and he gets a 4 ounce bottle(he gets smaller bottles b/c of his reflux problem so he usually eats more often) and goes right back to sleep until about 7 am. He eats again then and I bring him into bed with me for awhile~most of the time he will doze back off for a bit.

I am just happy that I am not getting up every 2 hours anymore :001_smile:

I like that he sleeps from 10-4 or 11-4. I don't mind getting up to feed him again then.

 

Jacob does have a pacifier~he will suck on his fist or fingers also.

I read that his pacifier helps with his stomach acid so he will have his pacifier for a long time I'm sure :001_smile:

My first had a pacifier for a long time, the second(our only girl) didn't want anything to do with it..But Jacob loves his paci :001_smile: and I don't mind.

 

 

I say if he's hungry at 3 or 4 am, feed him..If he doesn't want to eat, he won't.. Maybe he just wants to be close to mommy :001_smile:

Hang in there, it will get better..

[Rosie_0801]

So I'm not sure at what point I need to know he doesn't *need* to eat

 

Oh, that's not so hard to figure out. When he starts mucking around instead of feeding seriously, you can stop the night feeds. I demand fed my daughter until 9 months, which during summer meant about 6 times a night. When summer ended she was waking up from habit, and mucking around with her feed. That was the end of that. A few nights of controlled crying (not my favourite thing to do, but was necessary) and that was the end of that.

In my opinion, it's easier to do as you are told than try and make them do what you want at this age.

:)

Rosie

[muffinmom]

My kids both slept through the night early, but then occasionally would go through periods of waking up. Those would pass and they'd get back on track. Maybe it is a growth spurt, because mine always acted out of the ordinary during those times (and, of course, wanted to feed more frequently!).

 

Hopefully this will pass soon for you!!

[Slartibartfast]

Newborns are known to sleep more, your child is getting older. If your child is breastfed and going through a growth spurt, it's not uncommon for them to need to start nighttime nursing again. Just the way it goes. I wouldn't let them CIO...they are simply feeling a need and that's their only form of communication. Simply meet the need. No, it's not easy...but they do grow out of it again.

 

 

I am in agreement.

 

Babies do wake during the night, breastmilk digests in about three hours. It is reasonable that a baby would be hungry during the night, especially is they are having a growth spurt.

 

 

 

 

ETA: Oh, I am sorry I am not sure whether you are BF or FF. I didn't intent to assume.

[nmoira]

 

For the last two nights, he's gone down at his regular time with his usual routine (bath, bottle, story, crib) but he's woken up, the first night at 4a.m, last night at 3:30a.m. seemingly hungry. So both nights we fed him. I'm wondering if we've made a big mistake.

Well, 10pm to 3:30 is 5.5 hours. I've always understood "sleeping through the night" defined as 5 hours? Personally, I would feed him. What time do you go to bed? If you're up an hour and a half or so after his bedtime, you might try waking him gently and having a preemptive nursing session to see if you can gain some more time.