Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) Is it something you would report to CPS? ETA: This minor is also saying that her mind is going crazy. ETA: Her mom, at least, knows. Edited September 10, 2012 by Miss Peregrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I would tell her parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I do not know if CPS is the right avenue, but help, yes absolutely. I hope someone else chimes in with the appropriate place to call. It is very late and I cannot think of the best idea, but I couldn't help but post something. That is hard to witness :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeenagerMom Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 This is something I have had recent experience with. We chose to report it to the Middle School counselor as it was DD's friend. Counselor gently confronted the child and called her parents. Parents picked her up & immediately took her for medical care. Said child is doing very well now and thanks DD for having the courage to find an adult to help her. I wouldn't report to CPS unless the parents are sticking their head in the sand and refusing to get their child help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 It would depend on the age of the child and whether I strongly suspected the relationship with the parents was abusive. In almost all cases I would be more likely to let the parents know so that they could seek help for the child first. The exception might be if I were fairly certain that the parental reaction would be punishing the teen and not seeking help. Even in those cases, I would be more inclined to offer local assistance (i.e. these people can talk to you and specialize in that, talk to them) before I'd call CPS. CPS would be my last resort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I would start by encouraging the young person to tell her parents, offering to go with her if needed. If she refused to talk to her parents I'd go ahead and tell them and/or another trusted adult. I think CPS would only be appropriate if you know or suspect that something is amiss with her home life (eg the cutting is a reaction to abuse in the home, or the parents aren't taking care of her due to alcoholism, mental health issues, whatever). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 No. CPS is for suspected abuse. Cutting is not parental abuse. Cutting is a coping skill. It's a bad one; but until the person can learns new coping skills, the self harm risk continues. Self harm is heavily correlated with sexual abuse. But that is misleading because self harm is statistically a female realm and females also have higher SA victim rates. This young woman, and possibly family members, need treatment and support. You can't extrapolate anything accurate about the family based soley on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 No. CPS is for suspected abuse. Cutting is not parental abuse. Cutting is a coping skill. It's a bad one; but until the person can learns new coping skills, the self harm risk continues. Self harm is heavily correlated with sexual abuse. But that is misleading because self harm is statistically a female realm and females also have higher SA victim rates. This young woman, and possibly family members, need treatment and support. You can't extrapolate anything accurate about the family based soley on this. I appreciate all the answers. I am truly wanting to know what to do with this information. Mom knows and is not getting treatment. Girl is telling others and pulling them in to the drama(for lack of a better word). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 You cannot report a kid to CPS for cutting herself. CPS is only for reporting a parent or 'parental substitute' Now, if a parent knows a kid is cutting and is doing nothing to get that child help, it is possible the parent could be reported... but it might not get accepted. The parents need to know and a therapist who has experience with this issue should be involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I appreciate all the answers. I am truly wanting to know what to do with this information. Mom knows and is not getting treatment. Girl is telling others and pulling them in to the drama(for lack of a better word). If the mom knows and isn't doing anything about it, could you contact a counselor at the girl's school? Does the girl's father know? Are there any concerned grandparents in the picture? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 Okay, no CPS. Thanks for all the responses. I will see what avenue would be the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 My bil is a therapist with a nationally renowned program for self-injurers. CPS is for criminal abuse and neglect. It is for children who are being beaten, molested, starved or otherwise criminally neglected. If you have reason to believe a child's parents are cutting the child (abuse) or that criminal abuse of some sort is what is motivating the child's cutting, then it is reportable. If the child is troubled and you do not have credible reason to believe there is parental abuse, then CPS is not appropriate. Frankly, they probably would decline to investigate even if you did call it in. I have personally known three teens who cut. One was s@xually abused and suffered with addictions issues and cutting. CPS was involved due to the abuse issues, and the cutting came out in counseling for those issues. The second teen that I knew came from a loving, involved, and appropriate family. That teen was cutting in response to bullying that the parents were not aware of. Once made aware, they were quick to address the situation and get their child the help she needed. The third teen I knew was cutting in response to Facebook bullying. She had also had a difficult transition from a tiny private school to a large, urban public school. She, too, was from a loving, involved, and appropriate family who, once made aware of the cutting, were quick to address the issue on several levels and get their daughter the help she needed. Talk to the parents. It's really not fair to assume they are causing the cutting or that they are bad parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajag Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 ETA: Please don't quote. I may delete this later. I'm a somewhat reformed* cutter. I don't think once you cut you are ever not a cutter again. It's almost an addiction to painkillers you can't escape...your body makes the drug for you, and at the time does it ever feel good. CPS is for child abuse. I think passing the information on to a school counselor is your best bet or perhaps her father if he's in the picture. Males tend to react to cutting in a more serious manner than females from what I've seen. My husband was horrified when he first saw my cuts...horrified enough to call and get my doc on the phone and tell them without a doubt something was wrong because his wife was bleeding and she wasn't faking for attention. Something was WRONG. This last episode was the first time he'd ever seen it. He knew I'd done it in the past but still...men often are willing to act on cutting and less willing to accept an explanation and walk away. Speaking from experience, cutting is a last resort...something to cope with overwhelming emotional pain that is not suicide. It is my last weapon against giving in, and yes, I've left scars but I'm here. In the joke that is my local psych community, it's nothing less than a miracle. I see someone a couple of hours away now. *I had a relapse a couple of months ago when I reacted badly to a new prescription but before that I had not cut in over 10 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Mom knows and isn't getting her help? That's neglect. What about dad? He needs to be informed unless he is unknown, and given an opportunity to intervene and get girl help. If Dad isn't an option, I'd contact school counselor, and if they belong to an organized religious body, a clergy member. If parents are ignoring the problem it is neglect and I would also make a CPS report. Most likely CPS would first offer voluntary services to the family, which is what is needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I appreciate all the answers. I am truly wanting to know what to do with this information. Mom knows and is not getting treatment. Girl is telling others and pulling them in to the drama(for lack of a better word). Yikes. If Mom knows and is not seeking treatment, perhaps Mom needs better information about this? An intervention for both of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) My bil is a therapist with a nationally renowned program for self-injurers. CPS is for criminal abuse and neglect. It is for children who are being beaten, molested, starved or otherwise criminally neglected. If you have reason to believe a child's parents are cutting the child (abuse) or that criminal abuse of some sort is what is motivating the child's cutting, then it is reportable. If the child is troubled and you do not have credible reason to believe there is parental abuse, then CPS is not appropriate. Frankly, they probably would decline to investigate even if you did call it in. I have personally known three teens who cut. One was s@xually abused and suffered with addictions issues and cutting. CPS was involved due to the abuse issues, and the cutting came out in counseling for those issues. The second teen that I knew came from a loving, involved, and appropriate family. That teen was cutting in response to bullying that the parents were not aware of. Once made aware, they were quick to address the situation and get their child the help she needed. The third teen I knew was cutting in response to Facebook bullying. She had also had a difficult transition from a tiny private school to a large, urban public school. She, too, was from a loving, involved, and appropriate family who, once made aware of the cutting, were quick to address the issue on several levels and get their daughter the help she needed. Talk to the parents. It's really not fair to assume they are causing the cutting or that they are bad parents. I never assumed either of those things. Sorry, I got stuck and didn't finish my thought. There is a lot to the story I can't share but I'm not assuming anything about them. I am really worried and just want to select the right avenue to get the help and get the other kids ensnared in this, out. Edited September 10, 2012 by Miss Peregrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I never assumed either of those things. Sorry, I got stuck and didn't finish my thought. There is a lot to the story I can't share but I'm not assuming anything about them. I am really worried and just want to select the right avenue to get the help and get the other kids ensnared in this, out. I am sorry. You were just asking a question, and I didn't word my thoughts very well. I apologize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 I am sorry. You were just asking a question, and I didn't word my thoughts very well. I apologize. No apology necessary. :) I meant to convey that I wasn't assuming anything but I sounded too curt. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 Mamajag, thank you for sharing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 Having been a cutter for a period of about 4 years, I agree with all the responses so far. CPS would be appropriate only if cutting were a reaction to a problem that CPS would normally be called for. Thank you for sharing, too.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EducationX2 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) Deleted because the person who needed to see it, did. Edited September 10, 2012 by EducationX2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 I couldn't think of a better word at the time and "drama" seems to minimize it but that's not my intention at all. Thank you for sharing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EducationX2 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I couldn't think of a better word at the time and "drama" seems to minimize it but that's not my intention at all. Thank you for sharing. :grouphug: Drama doesn't minimize it at all. I've lived it, and drama would be the word I'd use to describe it at times!! I completely understood what you were trying to get at. I just wanted to make the point that sometimes people (not saying YOU, but maybe the mother of the girl) think that because of the "drama" it isn't serious. I sure hope someone can help this girl. I'm glad you are there worrying about it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 The only time i was personally involved, it was at church, so i went to the Director of Religious Education, who dealt with it. My daughter knew one kid who was cutting and the parents didnt do anything and the kid ended up killing himself (i think it was a boy?) so yes, try to find a way to help the parents recognize that this is something they must do something about, perhaps first by finding a list of local people who can help free of charge, such as school, church, social services Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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