NotSoObvious Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) We did not have a stellar day today- nothing major, but I had to talk to dd about being respectful when I'm trying to help her. She's been copping an attitude when she doesn't understand something. Anyhow...about an hour later she says, "Mom, I think I want to try going back to school next year." (That would be 6th grade.) Now, we are taking homeschooling one year at a time and she knows that. However, going back to school is NOT her decision. I'm having a hard time letting her know that it's not her decision while still making sure she feels heard. I don't want her to stress over whether she should or shouldn't go back to school, but I also want to know how she feels. As of now, she will not be returning to school next year because I'd rather them NOT go back to PS for middle school, of all grades! It was just hard to articulate to her how I felt about it all. I especially don't want her thinking less of her PS'd friends or their families. We started homeschooling purely for academic reasons, but we of course now see all the social/cultural reasons for keeping our kids home and that's our current motivator. What do you do when your kids say they want to go back to school? What does that conversation sound like in your home? Edited August 24, 2012 by natnclay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 My dd14 was on a "I want to go to ps" kick for a while. She's never been to ps but her brother has. She was romanticizing it, thinking she'd be with friends all day, hang out, etc. Her brother set her straight on the realities of being in an institutional school. She decided life wasn't so bad, after all! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Diva wants a horse. She isn't getting that either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Diva wants a horse. She isn't getting that either. Ha! Now, that's what I needed to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 My dd14 was on a "I want to go to ps" kick for a while. She's never been to ps but her brother has. She was romanticizing it, thinking she'd be with friends all day, hang out, etc. Her brother set her straight on the realities of being in an institutional school. She decided life wasn't so bad, after all! LOL DD went to school through 2nd grade, but she has nooooo idea what middle school looks like. She'd be on the bus at 7AM and not home until 5PM, then have oodles of homework (while sister would have been done hours before). This DD is incredibly social, though. I think that's what she is missing. It's also the main reason I don't want her in middle school!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 She's what? 10, 11? They push buttons at that age, and you said yourself that today had been a difficult day with her. I wouldn't buy into the drama. Just a vague "Ok, Dad and I will consider that when it comes up next year. Please go finish cleaning your room" kind of thing and move on with what you were doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 She's what? 10, 11? They push buttons at that age, and you said yourself that today had been a difficult day with her. I wouldn't buy into the drama. Just a vague "Ok, Dad and I will consider that when it comes up next year. Please go finish cleaning your room" kind of thing and move on with what you were doing. :iagree: My mother used to say, "Oh, Ok honey. Thanks. I'll give that the consideration it's due." Took me awhile, but eventually I got it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 She's what? 10, 11? They push buttons at that age, and you said yourself that today had been a difficult day with her. I wouldn't buy into the drama. Just a vague "Ok, Dad and I will consider that when it comes up next year. Please go finish cleaning your room" kind of thing and move on with what you were doing. Yes, you are right! Why do I start to second guess myself and stress about it?! If it was ANYTHING else, I'd have no problem moving on. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 :iagree: My mother used to say, "Oh, Ok honey. Thanks. I'll give that the consideration it's due." Took me awhile, but eventually I got it.... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 If it is a particularly bad day of homeschooling, I would recommend just ignoring any public school comments. It was a bad day. On bad days, many homeschool moms threaten to put the children into public school, but they rarely ever do. I try to encourage moms to stop using that threat and just fix what the issue (if repetitive) is that is causing the problems. With a child, I would walk over and give them a hug. I would say, "Today was a bad day. It's fine. Tomorrow I am sure will be better." I wouldn't even address the public school comment. Ignore it. Just look at the day overall and determine why it was bad. Is there any tweaking that you can do? Everyone has a bad day once in awhile. Sometimes it can't be fixed. If it is a matter of disorganization, lack of explanation, tiredness, hunger, distractions, etc., those things may be fixed. Not all bad days need to be fixed. They just need to be accepted. My children don't say it as they don't view public school through rose-colored glasses. They seem to understand fairly realistically what is involved. One bad day at home does not make public school desirable in their eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Diva wants a horse. She isn't getting that either. :lol: My response to something like that is "Well, that's not what we do. We do school at home." And I leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'd just comment that next year is a long way away and we'll talk about it nearer the time. That should give you a few months to come up with some convincing arguments :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 If it's not her decision, I would say that straight out. But to help her feel some control, then I would point out all the things that are up for negotiation about school - whatever those things are in your house. Here, that would include nearly everything else. It might be changing a curriculum, your schedule, a goal, adding a more fun study or an extracurricular, etc. etc. I do think it's important to make it clear the math work is not negotiable while you're in the middle of the math work and unhappy with it. But it is negotiable later on, outside of school time, when you're finished with that particular assignment. If you can see the distinction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 And then when you've had enough and lost your cool you can say, "if you aren't respectful at home you aren't going anywhere never mind school!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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