Tap Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Ds17 is scrambling for money for college right now. Years ago, one set of grandparents got mad at me and stopped sending presents to the kids. At that time I think they told dh that they bought the kids savings bonds instead. I think they did this for a few holidays that year. FFWD to this year. Ds graduated high school this summer and is going on a missions trip. The grandparents sent him one of his savings bonds to help with the trip/graduation present. It isn't mature yet, but is worth about $40. (I personally think it is odd to give a single present to the same person for two different occasions, but whatever LOL) I think they have a few more stashed away. He could really use the money right now (the interest would be a wash on what he will pay to borrow the money, vs. letting the bonds keep gaining value). Would you ask if they have more bonds? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 No, I wouldn't ask. I might have dh mention in passing that ds could use some money for school, and see if they took the hint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Ds17 is scrambling for money for college right now. Years ago, one set of grandparents got mad at me and stopped sending presents to the kids. At that time I think they told dh that they bought the kids savings bonds instead. I think they did this for a few holidays that year. FFWD to this year. Ds graduated high school this summer and is going on a missions trip. The grandparents sent him one of his savings bonds to help with the trip/graduation present. It isn't mature yet, but is worth about $40. (I personally think it is odd to give a single present to the same person for two different occasions, but whatever LOL) I think they have a few more stashed away. He could really use the money right now (the interest would be a wash on what he will pay to borrow the money, vs. letting the bonds keep gaining value). Would you ask if they have more bonds? No. I don't know of any polite way to ask for money. Does your son have a relationship with them? If so, they would already know he needs money and would probably send it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 No. I don't know of any polite way to ask for money. Does your son have a relationship with them? If so, they would already know he needs money and would probably send it. :iagree: I can't think of a polite way to do it either. LOL It is just frustrating to think that she supposedly bought them 'for the kids presents' but is holding on to them. They don't have a relationship. They have not pursued a relationship with our kids. Dh's mother is a bit....shall we say 'odd'. LOL The reason she got mad at me was I nicely asked for the adults to stop exchanging gifts in our family (gifts to and from the kids were fine). We were in our mid-twenties and had 3 great grandparents, 6 parents, 16 siblings/spouses, and 15 nieces/nephews to buy Christmas presents for. I told all adults in both families that we could all stop the 'gift card exchange' or draw names but I was not going to continue buying 40 Christmas presents, not including each other/our own kids. Many living out of the area, requiring shipping costs too. Double that 40 gifts to 80 if you include birthdays and 90 presents/year if you include mothers/fathers/grandparents day. At the time she had 3 adults/spouses, and 4 grand kids all in one town, and was making good money. She couldn't see why this was a problem for us. :LOL: She thinks Ds is Amazing (her words) but she has spent only a couple of hours with them in the past 10 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Since you're not close, I think that can only go wrong and the most you might get out of it is a couple hundred dollars. Not worth the risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Since you're not close, I think that can only go wrong and the most you might get out of it is a couple hundred dollars. Not worth the risk. Agree. If the relationship was better, my answer would be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Oh, and I agree on the present exchange. I know someone whose family does that and I don't get it. That's not what holidays are about, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I wish I could think of a tactful way for you to ask about the bonds, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't sounds like you were begging for money. Sorry. Also, if they only gave your ds a savings bond for $40, and it was supposed to count as two gifts, I seriously doubt they would pony up much money, anyway. Generosity doesn't seem to be their middle name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 No, I wouldn't ask. I had a grandparent who gave money at different times to children and grandchildren, but it absolutely had to be on her terms only. If you asked, you would not see any of it and nastiness would ensue. My side of the family never asked, but my cousin did for just this sort of thing (starting school). it was ugly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Tap, tap, tap;:iagree: I can't think of a polite way to do it either. LOL It is just frustrating to think that she supposedly bought them 'for the kids presents' but is holding on to them. Well, she's old! She probably forgot. You have no idea how many presents I found for my family or myself or even others when my Mom passed away. She bought them, put them away and then forgot about them! They don't have a relationship. They have not pursued a relationship with our kids. Dh's mother is a bit....shall we say 'odd'. LOL That's sad. She thinks Ds is Amazing (her words) but she has spent only a couple of hours with them in the past 10 years. Similar boat here. But at least she thinks he is amazing! Pray God jogs her memory about the bonds!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 No, I absolutely wouldn't ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Since your position is that parents shouldn't help pay, I don't understand the idea of having grandparents help pay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Since your position is that parents shouldn't help pay, I don't understand the idea of having grandparents help pay? Because the bonds were birthday and Christmas presents that the grandparents bought the kids in theory 'for when they need it as an adult...ie tuitionm, first home, wedding etc'. To me, they were bought as gifts, in their names (if they were purchased like the one they gave him). The bonds aren't the grandparents helping them now, it my son spending his birthday/Christmas money from when he was 6yo on college tuition. The difference is, that they just haven't put the money in his piggy bank yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Well, my inclination was to not ask, and it looks like everyone agrees with me. LOL I was hoping I was being silly and the hive would set me straight. LOL:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Because the bonds were birthday and Christmas presents that the grandparents bought the kids in theory 'for when they need it as an adult...ie tuitionm, first home, wedding etc'. To me, they were bought as gifts, in their names (if they were purchased like the one they gave him). The bonds aren't the grandparents helping them now, it my son spending his birthday/Christmas money from when he was 6yo on college tuition. The difference is, that they just haven't put the money in his piggy bank yet. I honestly don't know about this.... but I thought bonds changed and you could redeem them with just the SSN of the person they were bought for. There's a website (not that I have handy) where I could enter my son's number and see the current value of the bonds (or at the time it was the serial number of the bonds... but I thought I read recently that they're not even issuing paper bonds anymore). Worth checking with the bank or online at least... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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