bettyandbob Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Since it's a military program I won't be able to hear from him for a few weeks. He did call me late Thursday and asked me to send food. I asked him why he was calling because parents were told we couldn't talk. He said cadets were still arriving on Thursday so they weren't turning in cell phones until Friday morning. He also said, while he couldn't talk he could get mail and he thought that meant he could get a care package. That was the last I heard from him. I put together a care package (small box with 4 prepackaged single serving sized bags of favorite snacks) and a note and mailed it. OK, so I'm really not going to hear from him for a while. Do they realize how hard this is on a mom? So, the cadets are marching and running and doing push ups and getting yelled at. They are tired and busy. That's easy. Being a mom waiting is hard. I'd like to call the commandant's office and ask that they attach a webcam to ds, but I think that won't fly. I wonder if anyone else has done that. So, ds drove me stark, raving mad this year. He needed to go. He was driving us all crazy up until we finally left for the airport. Now, he's 1800 miles away. Dh is going to visit on parents' weekend in late September, but I won't see ds until Thanksgiving. I met many parents while I was there and some who were on the same flights as me. Many of them described having dc very similar to mine, so that made me feel good about ds' decision to attend this school. But really it's only been a couple of days and I can't stop wondering. I wish I could hear from him when he is doing his academic consulting and gets registered for classes. I want to know how he's keeping up physically. .... I've always pushed my dc to do more and more on their own, but now this is just too big for me to handle ( I think ds is probably handling it just fine). Can't the leadership send us pictures? OK I know they can't, but wouldn't that be great. OK I know I have to wait. I didn't realize this was so hard -- especially when I was really to kick him out of the house months ago. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Which college? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Which college? New Mexico Military Institute Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Hi Betty, First - :grouphug::grouphug: As you can see from my siggie, DS20 is at USAFA. He's a 2nd year (aka junior), which means we have all survived 2 full years and he just started his third. I know - it IS tough! It's actually a relief to send DD18 off this year to college and know that she can pretty much call home any time. Those first 6-8 weeks when they are off at the military schools (which one?) is a big time of adjustment for the cadets and also for Mom and Dad. Hang in there! When DS20 was off at his first year, they had a service called Webguy that posted pictures of the cadets going thru basic cadet training and also of their first major events. Does your son's school have something like that? Or some of the schools have a facebook page you can follow. One thing that I did was to write EVERY SINGLE DAY to my son while he was in training. Stories from home, daily activities, pages of jokes. We couldn't send packages, but DS still has all the letters we sent him during basic and said they were one of the things he looked forward to the most. So write those letters..... and if a few tears drip on them (I know mine did!), well that's ok too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldGirl Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 My son is in boot camp, and was pretty much needing to do this too. I write everyday. I keep a running Word document going, noting events that happen during the day in a few sentences. I also picked up a bunch of encouragement cards from the Dollar Store. My little kids write notes asking him things like what he eats, what exercises he performs (they would then tell him how many pushups, situps, etc they could do), does he like getting yelled out. I keep copies of everything I send him. We have a large family and everyone is pretty close so my notes are funny antics and conversations we have had. I also copy those little comics on Facebook, quotes from Facebook, Bible verses and make pages of those. Since it is Olympic games time, I print off articles about the various event results and athletes, Reader's Digest pages, family photos, etc. I try to keep him connected to us and the world. However, nothing political is sent or mentioned. I got his first letter the other day. He loved all the mail. He mentioned he has received the most letters of anyone in his division and it was funny to them. He really warmed my heart. You will get through this. It is hard when you can't hear from them for awhile. I found videos on You Tube of another division of recruits and actual footage of their experiences in boot camp. It really was very helpful that I could "see" where he slept, where he eats, what type of PT he does, etc. Maybe there is something similar you could find. I also joined a Yahoo Group to connect with other moms of kids in boot camp. Again, maybe you can find that too. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 It gets easier. I sent my son on an LDS mission and did not see him at all for two years. He phoned us on Mother's Day and Christmas during that time, and emailed once a week. That's it. The first couple of weeks away will be the hardest, but then you get busy with life and it gets better. They are remarkably resilient, and he'll be just fine. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I have no experience with what you're going through, Betty, but I wanted to send you some :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Aw, man. We should have set up a system. I drive by the school, your DS waves a specific signal for either "tell mom I'm okay" or "tell mom to send food" or "tell mom to get me outta here!" (((hugs))) mom. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I'm sure this is a very hard time. Just wanted to give you a :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, you'll get through it and so will he! Does NMMI have anyone who periodically sends pictures? USNA had an official photographer that followed the Plebes around. He wasn't terribly good, so some moms who lived in Annapolis picked up the slack. I miss playing "Where's Waldo?" I only wish we could have gotten dd to do the NMMI thing and then be off to WP next year... I haven't found that. I remember when my neighbor's dd was at USNA and she was looking at those pictures daily. One day she found her dd. It was a great pic and it gave my neighbor so much happiness to see it. She said seeing the pic made her realize her dd was in just the right place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Ohhhh...when I was in 8th grade, I used to drool over NMMI catalog. How old is your ds? I totally understand how you must feel. Heck, my oldest ds is only 11.5 yrs. old and I have moments of, "Oh my gosh...it won't be long and he'll be walking out the door!". When I was 17, I went to Army basic training. I can't imagine how tough that was on my mom, especially since I was an only child at the time (my dad and step-mom had my brother when dad was 50!). Hang in there. I know it's easier for us to say than for you to DO. Keep busy...that will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Ohhhh...when I was in 8th grade, I used to drool over NMMI catalog. How old is your ds? I totally understand how you must feel. Heck, my oldest ds is only 11.5 yrs. old and I have moments of, "Oh my gosh...it won't be long and he'll be walking out the door!". When I was 17, I went to Army basic training. I can't imagine how tough that was on my mom, especially since I was an only child at the time (my dad and step-mom had my brother when dad was 50!). Hang in there. I know it's easier for us to say than for you to DO. Keep busy...that will help. He's 17. He has 3 months until he's 18. I didn't think it would be hard because he was a real negative presence at home this year. Many of the parents I met at the parent events on Wed said they experienced the same negative behaviors and were ready to see them go. I wonder how the other moms are feeling now that they've gotten home. I guess I'm glad to see him make these decisions and grow up, but he's my oldest. Bittersweet is the only word I can think of. It's good to get to this stage because the alternative would be not getting to this stage -- I have one ds who won't move out/move on. My dd is unlikely to go to a military program so I don't think it will be this abrupt "you can't talk" situation. At the same time, this is just what ds needs, he knows it, that's why he chose it. Thank you all for your kind thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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