mykdsmomy Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 moments. *sigh. VENT warning: I cannot continue to be woken up 10-12 times a night by a collective group of babies/children. I cannot deal with ds8's insomnia...it would be fine if he could get up and quietly watch tv or play but he insists on waking up ds12 to "play" with him and doesn't get why that's not ok :glare: I passed the intersection of sleep deprivation and exhaustion a long time ago and am now entering "psycho mom territory". I am cranky, weepy and out of steam! I'm also feeling at my absolute limit with ds8 and dd13. Ds8 has some severe behavioral challenges due to his disability. I'm starting to question whether or not I'm equipped to help him at home. I go through this every year and ultimately decide he's better off at home but he's getting older....and his needs are greater. Dd13 is worrying me now. She just does not want to listen to me. Yes, she's 13 and it goes with the territory (btdt before) but it's affecting our relationship as well as my sanity! She has very poor work habits and no self discipline. She wants to spend her days on the computer ...working on her blog (it's essentially a Beatles fan site). She has become obsessed with it this summer. She is very inactive and doesn't like to go outside at all. I feel like she needs a change of pace... If I could afford private school for her, she'd be signed up tomorrow!!! I fear putting her into our local public middle school but I also feel like I need to go into self preservation mode or I'm going to go insane! Vent over....just had to get it all out.....I wish I could fast forward two months.....ds8 and dd13 were in a great school, with great teachers and were HAPPY......Which I think is part of my problem too....I want them to be happy and when I see them unhappy, I feel like I'm failing as a parent...ughhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 :grouphug: Youll make it through. Somehow. Youll make it. (and hopefully your children will too, lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: You do what you have to do to make it through with everyone still loving each other and liking each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Sleep deprivation sucks. And can definitely make everything more intense. Is there any way you could get a little break for a few days? Send them to grandma's? (even 1 or 2 dc would help) Or any kind of camp? VBS or some such thing? Just something to give you a little breathing space? Then maybe with that you can at least cope a little better and then maybe make some choices. And on the btdt note, I've considered sending my dc more than once. Take care of yourself as best you can. Remember to keep your seat in its' upright position and strap yourself in before taking care of your dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I've often told my friends that I can do anything as long as I get a solid 6 - 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Sleep-deprived, I'm just a mess. We had to train our oldest to stay in her room if she woke up during the night. We literally used baby gates in her doorway (we stacked one on top of the other as she became taller). If she tried to get out, they would fall and we would wake up and take her back to her room. Eventually, she "got it" and now she doesn't leave her room when she wakes up except to go to the bathroom. We made sure to have a tv/vcr and plenty of videos. She's able to watch tv until she's sleepy again. I was always a wreck when the girls were babies from lack of sleep. Any reinforcements you can call? Someone to come over while you nap and cook dinner for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 :grouphug: My special needs guy is in school, as is my oldest (who went back when she was 13). Both are very good things for all involved. So, if you need any help feeling less guilty about it, pm me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 :grouphug: One thing that REALLY helped my dd was getting up early and exercising for 1 hour each morning before school. It really knocked the rough edges off of her personality. I made it a part of her school day. I'd block the blog till her responsibiliites were taken care of for the day. Lack of sleep is horrible. Have you made a separate "sleep issues" thread on it? You may get some helpful tips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykdsmomy Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Thanks everyone....there are so many factors when considering ps/hs that I just need to spend some hardcore time in prayer. I wish there was some relief (ie: babysitters) but we can't afford them right now and it's hard to find one that can handle ds8 :( I think making/sticking to a schedule will help and also starting to put my foot down with the kids more often instead of indulging them. I'm going to talk to dh tonight (again) and see if there's something he can do as far as coming home early one day so I can actually catch up on some sleep....zzzzzzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 .Which I think is part of my problem too....I want them to be happy and when I see them unhappy, I feel like I'm failing as a parent...ughhhh Could I just suggest, gently, that it could be a great deal of your problem, emotionally speaking? Despite the popular culture, IMO, we don't need to make our children happy all the time. I don't even think we should. It is human nature to do dumb things, or fail to do the right thing, and then end up unhappy because of the consequences. We NEED that. It teaches us. If we don't allow our children to suffer the unhappiness of their choices, we are robbing them. Truly. The trick for moms is to not take it personally and not allow them to spew their misery on others. I have been known to tell people in my house to to take their misery to the privacy of their room and keep the volume down (this is self-inflicted misery, not real "my dog/grandma died - had a fight with my friend" misery). Try to remember you are teaching your children, even in the midst of their misery. How many adults can you point to whose lives are in shambles, because they never were allowed to experience their misery? You really are doing them a favor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I use melatonin with special needs guy to help him sleep. I put it off for years and now I wish I hadn't. He needs to take it about 2-3 hours before bedtime for it to kick in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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