Slipper Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 My husband's step-father (as some of you may remember) has been in the hospital following a UTI and then meningitis about three weeks ago. Prior to the hospitalization, he had beginning dementia which caused him some confusion. Currently, he cannot stand without assistance (significant), he is sometimes fed through a tube (inserted straight into his stomach), he doesn't seem to recognize anyone and some days he can talk and some days he can't. Yesterday was considered one of his best days because he laughed twice and was able to lift his arms above his head independently. He was not a candidate for rehab yet, so was sent to a nursing home a few days ago. His fever spiked to over 104 again and he is back in the hospital. My MIL (who is helpless, truly, she is not a practical type person) and my step FIL's two daughters are trying to figure out his care. (They are also in disagreement). After his return to the hospital, they decided they didn't like the nursing home and took him out officially. MIL desperately wants him to go to rehab and get better. Rehab is firm that they won't accept him. Somehow, they will need to get him into a different nursing home. MIL says that the rehab says if he improves in the nursing home then they will take him. Between the three of them, they have no idea what the nursing home costs. DH and I are wondering about the cost and we don't want to ask since we're worried it will sound a bit tacky. There is a chance we may have to help out with the cost. Can someone give me some ideas of what nursing home costs and how they are typically covered? Step FIL is 72 yrs old and there are some assets that are in his name. Can they take MIL's assets? What about her home? They have a second home that is tied into a trust, that is supposedly untouchable. I find this whole thing very confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed3x Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I am sorry. :grouphug: I know that costs vary and you should be able to call around, set up appointments for tours of the facilities and to speak with someone about costs. We went through this a few years ago with my great grandfather and will shortly be going through it again with my great grandmother. It is sad. I don't know all of the details since my uncle took care of them, but do know that he told us that the cost of the facility that my grandfather was in was almost $7k per month. I will add, too, that the rehab facility is correct. My great grandmother had a mini stroke and she had to be able to stand, walk (with minimal assistance) and feed herself to be in the rehab facility. It was intense therapy the weeks she was there, but it did help. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) It is NOT tacky to ask. Not in the slightest. Nursing homes are well aware that most people can't afford to pay out of pocket. They should have a social worker and/or financial advisor on staff who is able to help you figure out your options. Also, what the rehab facility accepts will vary based on facility. I work in a nursing home which includes a rehab wing, and they accept pretty much anyone who is stable for discharge from the hospital to the rehab wing. Edited August 7, 2012 by ocelotmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed3x Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 It is NOT tacky to ask. Not in the slightest. Nursing homes are well aware that most people can't afford to pay out of pocket. They should have a social worker and/or financial advisor on staff who is able to help you figure out your options. Also, what the rehab facility accepts will vary based on facility. I work in a nursing home which includes a rehab wing, and they accept pretty much anyone who is stable for discharge from the hospital to the rehab wing. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 When my grandpa had a stroke at 92, he was sent to a nursing home when he was released. He received his rehab/therapy treatment at the facility (which is norm around here, I've know people in their 50's sent to a nursing home for rehab after knee/hip replacements) The only other choice for rehab is outpatient stuff but you have to be well enough to live at home and have transportation to get to therapy appointments. Anyways, he spent I think it was 3 weeks there and Medicare paid for it (well my grandparents may have had to pay a copay but it was very small compared to the actual cost). After 3 weeks Medicare wouldn't pay for any more so he had to leave. He had made good improvement but wasn't strong enough to live at home since my grandma wasn't strong enough to help him physically manuever which is where he still struggled. They had to but him in an assisted living place. This my grandparents had to pay for completely. The cost there was between $3000-$5000 a month depending on what level of care the person needed. My grandma is there now and and she says the base is $3000. If you need help bathing is an extra $300 a month. If you need help feeding yourself it's an extra $900 a month. If you need the staff to administer your medicine that is a separate extra fee per month etc. Basically it's customized based on what each patient needs. But this is in a small town in the midwest. I"m sure the costs are much higher in big cities or on the coasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 $3800.00 - 4200.00 per month is the base around here for non-ambulatory patients. There are add ons for additional services. PT and OT can be done by therapists at the homes to help patients qualify for rehab if that is a reasonable goal. All lot depends on insurance. The really, really nice ones are $5000.00 or more per month. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 5000 a month for my mom's care They will take any assets that they have in common. It is common for Social Security checks to start coming directly to the NH. It's horrible. I'd be surprised if they can keep anything, because state funded stuff is typicially reserved for those who have nothing. (unless they have a long term care insurance policy in place) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 4k per month at the few I'm familiar with. We are in a low cost of living area too, I don't know if that makes a difference. These are basic facilities, nothing fancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) I believe the asset rules vary state to state. Sometimes the primary residence can't be taken if the other spouse is living there, etc. I would probably talk to an attorney with expertise in elder care in your state or a fee-based financial planner with experience in long term care issues and assets. eta: Is he a veteran, and would he be eligible for any VA services? Edited August 7, 2012 by Momof3littles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 He's not a veteran and I doubt he has any type of long-term care insurance. At the moment, he doesn't even have a will or any type of directive about his wishes on being kept alive should he get worse. My MIL had hers done at our urging, but he didn't want to do it. Now his daughters are furious with her because of it. She does have an attorney and a financial advisor (she has some assets she inherited - the attorney and financial advisor were also "inherited"). I told DH that he should go ahead and call them and tell them to call her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 He's not a veteran and I doubt he has any type of long-term care insurance. At the moment, he doesn't even have a will or any type of directive about his wishes on being kept alive should he get worse. My MIL had hers done at our urging, but he didn't want to do it. Now his daughters are furious with her because of it. She does have an attorney and a financial advisor (she has some assets she inherited - the attorney and financial advisor were also "inherited"). I told DH that he should go ahead and call them and tell them to call her. Yeah, if she has assets and the means to afford consultation with a financial advisor and attorney, they should do that. Did the dementia like symptoms start recently? UTIs in and of themselves can trigger dementia-like behavior. If that behavior had a relatively quick onset, that's something to consider since he may still be battling the UTI based on the sudden fever (or obviously it could be something else). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Yeah, if she has assets and the means to afford consultation with a financial advisor and attorney, they should do that. Did the dementia like symptoms start recently? UTIs in and of themselves can trigger dementia-like behavior. If that behavior had a relatively quick onset, that's something to consider since he may still be battling the UTI based on the sudden fever (or obviously it could be something else). No, we saw odd behavior a few years ago that's gradually worsened. He will forget what he ordered at restaurants and sulk (seriously, with lip pouted) or forget what things are called, etc. He loses things frequently. It was significant enough to cause issues, but not significant enough that he needed assistance. The UTI made things much, much worse and he didn't recognize people. He still doesn't. His current behaviors resemble a stroke, but the hospital says he didn't have one. They think the fever might be related to the meningitis but they are baffled as to why he isn't getting over it as he should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 No, we saw odd behavior a few years ago that's gradually worsened. He will forget what he ordered at restaurants and sulk (seriously, with lip pouted) or forget what things are called, etc. He loses things frequently. It was significant enough to cause issues, but not significant enough that he needed assistance. The UTI made things much, much worse and he didn't recognize people. He still doesn't. His current behaviors resemble a stroke, but the hospital says he didn't have one. They think the fever might be related to the meningitis but they are baffled as to why he isn't getting over it as he should. Poor guy. I just thought I'd mention it in case it was a fairly recent or sudden onset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 The social worker should be able to help you figure out the financial aspect of it. Not sure if a lawyer would be of help or not, our family did not use one. The social workers were fabulous at helping us sort it out. You could even call around to different nursing homes and explain the situation, so you can choose whichever is best for your needs. After rehab was over, Medicaid quit paying and it becomes a private pay situation until all assets have been used. If he becomes stable again, assisted living is a wonderful option and much more affordable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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