I should have known better....co-op drama (aka, how did I get roped into this?)

[ktgrok]

So, last year my son went to a co-op on Thursdays that was from 10am-2pm, although usually we were done early. It was art/science/music. It was ok. I'm not sure how much he learned, but he did learn, and he made friends, which was important. However, this year the focus is changing, and the woman that runs it wants to do 3 projects for the year, with everything revolving around them. My son is not interested in the projects, nor do I feel that at his age he needs to spend that much time say, planning a butterfly garden. A weekend, yes, Months? no. Several other people felt the same way. I run a social group for middle school and up, and so when several people said they wanted something different for the older kids I said we could do it as an offshoot of the social group I run.

 

I then contacted the woman running the old co-op, explained that it wouldn't work for my son next year, that I wished her well, and that we might do something different, with a different focus, on a different day, so as not to conflict with her group. She was fine with that, but everyone seemed to think I was being crazy or brave or whatever for telling her. That she would be mad and it would start drama. I was like, um...huh? Anyway, it was fine.

 

Also, although a few people have picked topics they want to teach, they haven't actually put them on the calendar. Or they did, but for a month down the road. I am due in a few weeks, so I said I can't teach until november. So we have no one signed up for the first few weeks.

 

Well today one of the main people that wanted to split off, that has been having input into the planning, and who helped decide what day we are meeting, said she can't do that day, and never wanted that day. Um??? I have the messages from when you said that day was good! Whatever.

 

Then, my son, who is visiting family in Ohio during all this, messages me, at midnight no less, to complain that he wants us to teach a certain topic involving dry ice. I explained that someone else came up with that idea and they signed up with it. He then whines that i probably will think it is dangerous and won't let him do it when the time comes. I told him, hey, I'm giving you permission, it is midnight, what more do you want from me? I mean, I'm saying you can participate, and you are still arguing. Why?

 

What about co-ops make people lose their minds?

Edited August 7, 2012 by ktgrok

[NorthwestMom]

What about co-ops make people lose their minds?

 

I don't know, but there must be a colorless, odorless gas that permeates the atmosphere and causes everyone to become high-maintenance.

 

Good luck to you

[MollyAnn]

I will never participate in another co-op.

Over the last 2 years we have tried 3 different ones and the drama that comes along with it is so not worth it.

I will stick to park days.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Co-ops are extensions of homeschooling. Every parent wants what they feel is best for their child. Therefore, the group dynamic is clouded by individual wants and needs.

It is emulating a school setting without the hierarchy of a school board, teachers, and such that can be disciplined and let go if needed. In co-ops, you pretty much either stay and tough it out or leave and find something else to fill that social/academic need.

That is why I think co-ops get crazy. I like doing a co-op for my kids to have friends and get social opportunities. I hate certain aspects though for myself. In my personal opinion, the reason there is drama is b/c co-ops become about the parents more than the children.

We are doing a co-op and I plan to keep my head down and let the kids sign up for what they are interested in and go to the socials that they want. I will gladly help out, but I will not poke my head up too far. :D

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Co-ops are extensions of homeschooling. Every parent wants what they feel is best for their child. Therefore, the group dynamic is clouded by individual wants and needs.

It is emulating a school setting without the hierarchy of a school board, teachers, and such that can be disciplined and let go if needed. In co-ops, you pretty much either stay and tough it out or leave and find something else to fill that social/academic need.

That is why I think co-ops get crazy. I like doing a co-op for my kids to have friends and get social opportunities. I hate certain aspects though for myself.

 

Yes.

 

I don't know, but there must be a colorless, odorless gas that permeates the atmosphere and causes everyone to become high-maintenance.

 

:lol::lol::lol: Yes, this too.

 

I don't know how the leader of our co-op hasn't quit in exhaustion at some point over the past year.

[Carol in Cal.]

There is an alternative to coops. It is making an offering.

 

You say, "I am going to offer this. If you are interested, let's talk." You define it six ways from Sunday--the hours, the commitment, homework or not, drop off or parent participation, volunteer requirements or not.

 

Then you just smile and assert this plan. This is the most trouble free coop equivalent I ever tried. And people STILL argued about it. 'You didn't send out a note for this meeting, so I didn't know we were meeting.' (I never send out reminder notes. It is, a FREE class that I am planning, hosting, and teaching. I am not also sending out reminder notes.) (Not that I said that. Nope, I said, oh, sorry we missed you! Hope to see you next time!) 'How about you add this specific kind of writing to it? I have recently learned all about it in a class I am taking to get my teaching credential. Let me teach it to you so that you can teach the right way to the kids.' (This was specifically not a writing class, but only a literary discussion class; a distinction I made specifically to be able to include kids who don't write easily but still love books.)

 

Still, though, this calms down that colorless odorless gas more than any other approach I have seen.

[happyhomemaker25]

I don't know, but I think I am going to make, "What about co-ops make people lose their minds?" my new sig! LOL Just kind of sums it all up, right there.

[besroma]

I don't know, but there must be a colorless, odorless gas that permeates the atmosphere and causes everyone to become high-maintenance.

 

Good luck to you

 

Yep! :D