Miss Marple Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 On his way to work, my ds2 found ds3's kitty dead in the road. He brought him back to the house and we just finished burying him. Ds3 is away at church camp right now with ds4. He adored this cat. Should I call him at camp to tell him? Should I wait until he gets home? He is with a group of very close friends there and everyone knows how much he adored his cat. We live in the country and about 1/2 mile off the road where kitty was found. I have never seen him up that far. He was neutered but still under a year old. He normally stays right around the house. My ds2 feels terrible because he let him out of the house this morning around 2 am because kitty thought it was time to play and ds was sleeping. I don't know what to do...call now or wait...anyone BTDT? This son is a very nurturing fella and acquired this kitty when he was going through some issues with a young lady he was keen on. This kitty got him through the turmoil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 How soon until they're supposed to come home? :grouphug: I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Wait till he comes home. And is your son sure it was this cat if he never goes that far? My mom once called my Grandpa to come bury our cat. He came over, in the rain and buried it. Walked back up onto the covered back porch and there was the cat, looking at him like "What are you doing out in the rain dummy?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I would wait until he comes home to tell him. There is nothing he can do about it at camp except become very upset so let him enjoy camp and be upset after he gets home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 Yeah, I thought that might be the case, but this particular cat had specific gray and white markings. Unless he has a clone, it is ds's cat. Ds comes home on Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatA Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sorry. :( I haven't been in that position. But I know if it was my beloved pet, I would want to know right away. Especially if it was a few days before coming home. He might want to leave camp and come home. I'm sorry for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I agree with Renthead Mommy, it is amazing how alike some cats can look. We have 2 cats in our neighberhood that we call Blackie imposter and Sagwa imposter because they look identical to 2 of our cats. We have even had neighbors call us asking if Blackie or Sagwa are outside cause they swear that they saw them a couple of streets over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 OK,follow up question (like I said, I'm not thinking clearly yet) Ds2 (who found the cat) will be going to the camp at some point this week for the day (he works and has to go around his work hours). He will feel really weird around his brother knowing that his cat is dead and he has not been told. I'm of the opinion that the information can wait - there's is nothing he can do about it at this point. But Ds2 is now re-thinking going to camp. I don't want him to miss out - he has friends there and will really enjoy the time. These boys are very close - should I tell him to go ahead and tell his brother if things seem awkward? Even at 19 years old, it seems to be a big burden to have to tell your younger brother about the death of his pet. Am I being too emotional about this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Your second post changes everything. In that case I would call and tell him right away. Concealing information is very hard to do. The last thing you want is for your boy to be hurt about his cat, and then take it out on his brother for "lying" to him while they were at camp together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Your second post changes everything. In that case I would call and tell him right away. Concealing information is very hard to do. The last thing you want is for your boy to be hurt about his cat, and then take it out on his brother for "lying" to him while they were at camp together. OR can big brother just skip working this week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 OR can big brother just skip working this week? No, he is the only person working because the other 2 kids he usually works with (his brother and another friend - both younger than he is) are at the camp. The camp is really for the jr. high/high school age, but often the college age singles go during the week when they can fit it into their schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Seeing as your older son is going to be headed to camp, and it would be a big emotional burden to carry that around without being able to say anything to his brother, I would call camp. That way both of your sons can be together with this knowledge and ds3 can lean on ds2 if necessary while still away (if that is feasible?). I am so sorry... losing a pet really hurts. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Seeing as your older son is going to be headed to camp, and it would be a big emotional burden to carry that around without being able to say anything to his brother, I would call camp. That way both of your sons can be together with this knowledge and ds3 can lean on ds2 if necessary while still away (if that is feasible?). I am so sorry... losing a pet really hurts. :grouphug: :iagree: and :grouphug: SO heartbreaking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I'm not sure what I'd do but I think.......... maybe have big brother tell him while he is there so he can protect him and support him til he's over the shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 Thank you for all the advice and perspective. If ds2 goes to camp, I'll call ds3 to tell him. Otherwise I'll wait. This is the kitty we dropper fed - he was abandoned at about 2 weeks old. He was truly a part of the family - so full of life and energy. He thought he was human :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) I am so sorry this happened.:grouphug: Last summer, my dd's dog died of a stroke while dd was at camp. At the time, I was conflicted (to the point of being inconsolable) as to when to notify her. In hindsight, I am SO glad the vet and my ds convinced me to wait until she was done with camp. We picked her up, let her chat happily in the car until we were about 1/2 way home, then I told her. She at first was upset that I didn't call her, but she did finally admit that it would have ruined the rest of her week at camp, and knowing wouldn't have changed anything except that. I am very glad I waited. Again, at the time, it was a difficult decision, but now I can see clearly that it was for the best. There is never an easy way to share this news no matter when it is. Again, I'm sorry for your family. ETA: I just saw your additional information. I think your plan is a good one. Poor ds. :( Edited July 31, 2012 by GraciebytheBay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Ds2 (who found the cat) will be going to the camp at some point this week for the day (he works and has to go around his work hours). He will feel really weird around his brother knowing that his cat is dead and he has not been told. I would tell him in this case. He and his brother can mourn the loss of the cat together. No, of course you're not being too emotional. :grouphug: You've lost a beloved pet and you know your ds is going to be heartbroken. I am feeling emotional just reading about it. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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