laundrycrisis Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 (edited) * Thank you all very much. Edited July 11, 2012 by Laundrycrisis2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 You should be fine. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Agreed, you should be fine. As long as you're not living in filth with garbage, animal waste, and dirty dishes everywhere it's okay. And :grouphug: to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 (edited) You'll be fine. Pick up a few of the toys. Inform the worker of what is going on. In fact, call DCFS and inform them of this grandparent, their mental state, and their threats, then you'll be one step ahead. btw, the workers can sometimes tell when it's a grudge call. We had someone that insisted we be under their "spiritual influence" and they weren't happy that we were moving to another state. Yep, a worker showed up two days before we drove off. He was greeted by happy kids playing in the yard and a nearly empty house. He knew that this person had a grudge, said the person was making accusations about things that should not have mattered or sounded like "half the story", etc. Two days later the second worker showed up to close things out and we had an HSLDA attorney on speaker phone just to witness everything. The worker was really cool about it. And then we left. Edited July 11, 2012 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 You will be fine. Tell them what is going on. Be very friendly and welcoming. You are not the first person in that situation. There are things they have to do to fulfill the state requirements. They might have to open a kitchen cabinet or the fridge to check off the 'food available' box. They might have to talk to your kids, depending on what the caller said. Scattered toys are not an issue. It is going to be ok. I have known a lot of CPS workers in my time (when I worked) and they are parents themselves. They know what real life with kids is like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 We were foster parents briefly. The workers we knew would have considered scattered toys a good sign! That means the children's needs are being considered. They are looking for major things--no running water, no food in the house, drug paraphernalia, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 You will be fine. Tell them what is going on. Be very friendly and welcoming. You are not the first person in that situation. There are things they have to do to fulfill the state requirements. :iagree: And they have seen such horrible, miserable situations, they will be happy to sigh in relief when they meet you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 (edited) Good luck. You will be fine! Edited July 11, 2012 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 (edited) I am a social worker here in IL. Good chance you will never hear from DCFS. They are too busy keeping up with the cases they are dealing with. I would like to make a suggestion. If you have a doctor for your child with whom you have a good relationship take your child in for an appointment and explain the situation and have the doctor give your child the once over and document there is no evidence of abuse/neglect. Then in the unlikely chance you do have contact you can refer DCFS to the doctor And see if there is a way to cut all contact with the family member. You may be able to bring charges against this person for false charges/harassment. Sorry you are going through this. Edited July 11, 2012 by jelbe5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted July 11, 2012 Author Share Posted July 11, 2012 I am a social worker here in IL. Good chance you will never hear from DCFS. They are too busy keeping up with the cases they are dealing with. I would like to make a suggestion. If you have a doctor for your child with whom you have a good relationship take your child in for an appointment and explain the situation and have the doctor give your child the once over and document there is no evidence of abuse/neglect. Then in the unlikely chance you do have contact you can refer DCFS to the doctor And see if there is a way to cut all contact with the family member. You may be able to bring charges against this person for false charges/harassment. Sorry you are going through this. Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. I have a specific question about the doctor - they both go in for OT once per week. Could the OT do this ? They see her weekly. They wear shorts and she does a lot of physical work and social thinking work with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. I have a specific question about the doctor - they both go in for OT once per week. Could the OT do this ? They see her weekly. They wear shorts and she does a lot of physical work and social thinking work with them. I know that therapists here (pt, ot, and st group) have social workers working in the group doing the evals. So, yes, that would probably be a good possibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 :iagree: Yes, just so some other "professional" can verify if needed. Just FYI our family was referred to DCFS in December for an incident involving our autistic son (public meltdown). My preventative measure was to take him into our doctor for a check. She said it was a good idea and documented that there was no evidence of abuse/neglect. That is why I made the suggestion to you. OTs are also mandated reporters, like doctors and teachers, so yes, let the OT know about these false charges. We never heard from DCFS but I was very nervous for a while. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 here in california, another thing we check is the children's bedrooms, to make sure they have a bed (one of the things parents are required to provide), and that the sheets are clean, etc. remove garbage, plates, dirty clothes, etc. from the bedrooms. toys are a good sign, garbage etc is a bad sign.... food in the fridge that has not gone bad is something else we check. :grouphug: sorry you are going thru this. one of the things that happened here a few years back is that someone reported a family for neglect..... and one of the parents was the head of the social work office! workers went out, confirmed what they needed to confirm, apologized, left. fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 You should be just fine. We (foster parents) were told that environmental neglect is the absolute hardest things to prove. Our therapist said she's seen some homes that she thinks are horrible, that get the ok from DCFS. There is a wide spectrum of living condition standards, so basically if everyone is safe, healthy, clean, and well fed, they really have a hard time documenting anything. You should have seen the filth my girls almost got returned to. I'm sorry you are going through this. How awful. Is there any way to provide some sort of "proof" of this family member's instability so she can't make the claim again?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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