Okay it's the first week of summer holidays and the issue of curfew has arisen.

[Rose in BC]

I have two 16 year olds and one 14.5 year old. I work full time out of the home. Ideally I need to be in bed by 10:30 to get enough sleep. So tonight I told number one son that during the week curfew would be 9:30 with some room on special occasions. A little later weekends. (by the way we live in northern Canada so it stays light, late. . . Like soon it will be light until well aft eleven.)

 

He is usually doing something outside. Biking, dirt biking, skateboarding, etc.

 

Is this reasonable. I can't go to bed if the kids aren't in the house. I guess that eventually happens but I'm not ready for that (they just turned sixteen).

 

Btw only one child cares about this curfew, the others usually are home.

[SonshineLearner]

I think so... You're fine if they're just watching tv or playing wii or stuff? Our kids at that age often stay up till say.... 11 or 12, but they're in before 10pm except for occasionally on the wknd.... Usually they're in by say 8pm or so :)

[Rose in BC]

I think so... You're fine if they're just watching tv or playing wii or stuff? Our kids at that age often stay up till say.... 11 or 12, but they're in before 10pm except for occasionally on the wknd.... Usually they're in by say 8pm or so :)

 

I don't have go to sleep regulations. They can stay awake in the house as long as they want. I just don't want them out of the house at that time.

[mommytobees]

Personally, I wouldn't call this so much as a curfew issue but more a consideration issue.

 

Rather than force the issue regarding violation of curfew make a point of your ability to sleep. They are NOT old enough to be out of the house after your "bedtime".

 

I would take the stand if he can't respect you enough to be home when asked then he doesn't need to be going out... giving a curfew time is out of RESPECT to _HIM_.....not to you. You are telling him that you trust him to be home at an hour that will allow you to go to bed on time. so, if he can't show consideration and respect to YOU the he doesn't need a curfew and he does NOT need to go out after supper.

 

Good luck.

 

Kris

[ThisIsTheDay]

Personally, I wouldn't call this so much as a curfew issue but more a consideration issue.

 

Rather than force the issue regarding violation of curfew make a point of your ability to sleep. They are NOT old enough to be out of the house after your "bedtime".

 

I would take the stand if he can't respect you enough to be home when asked then he doesn't need to be going out... giving a curfew time is out of RESPECT to _HIM_.....not to you. You are telling him that you trust him to be home at an hour that will allow you to go to bed on time. so, if he can't show consideration and respect to YOU the he doesn't need a curfew and he does NOT need to go out after supper.

 

:iagree: This is part of contributing to the family. You have to go to sleep early so you can work; the kids' contribution is to be inside so that you can go to sleep. It's like any other assigned "chore" that helps out the family.

[Joanne]

I think that 9:30 in the summer for a 16 year old might be too early. Just turned 16? Maybe, but I think you are right that you are going to have to learn to sleep without older teens home.

 

I support you in *courtesy*, though, including comings and goings, noise, and mess when you are sleeping.

[Kelly1730]

I think at 16 our regular curfew was 10pm. We would allow them to stay out later occasionally but not make a habit out of it. I agree on the consideration element, we stressed that much here.

[elfgivas]

what do they do during the day when you are at work? i'm thinking that if they are sleeping in til 11am, then 9:30pm will seem early to be coming home, but if they are up painting the outside of the house, or going to work themselves, then 9:30pm will seem way more reasonable. what if you served ice cream at 9:30pm? would that make coming home in a timely fashion seem more fun?

 

the timing seems Very Reasonable to me......

good luck!

ann

 

eta: if you waken them to have breakfast with you each morning, then the earlier time will seem more and more reasonable. our oldest two are in their late twenties; during their teenage years we found early mornings and lots of outdoor physical activity naturally led to earlier bedtimes. while they lived at home i never went to bed until they were in bed, and a grumpy mum was not something they wanted at all ; ).

Edited June 18, 2012 by elfgivas@yahoo.com

[Madeline05]

I think you'll need to start preparing yourself for going to bed even with the kids out, they are definitely reaching that age. I totally understand where you're coming from with having an issue with going to bed with them out though, it's just part of letting them grow up!

 

I do think 9:30 is a little early though, so maybe if you try for 10? But give some leeway every once and awhile.

[KidsHappen]

During the summer I go by the city curfew which is 10:00 on school nights and 11:30 on Friday and Saturday. Now that does not mean that my kids are free to roam the streets all hours of the nights but they are allowed to play in the cul-de-saq with the other kids or walk to their friends houses in groups. They can visit their friends late to watch movies or whatever. They have had pretty much the same friends for the lasst three years or so and all parents are equally good about keeping track of them so I am pretty comfortable with that arrangement.