smartwater? small rant

[swimmermom3]

Last night, my dd stalked into the room, put her hand to her forehead and moaned, "Oh the irony!" She plunked down a bottle of smartwater in front of me, pointed to the label, muttered, "e.e. cummings without the brains," and stalked off.

 

I would like to tell you what was on the label, but I can't. I am sorry. I am a dumb reader. Without capitalization or punctuation, I am lost whether it is in reading a label, an e-mail, or a web post. Perhaps I am so overwhelmed when I face those endless blocks of text because, well, I feel that my life is inferior to that of the writer. Sadly, my schedule is not so full to every second that I need forgo capital letters. I have all the time in the world to sift through the scintillating slipstreams of consciousness that belong to obviously superior and hipper intellects.

 

I appreciate that they take time out of their amazing and full lives to share their erudite thoughts with me, but their faith in my ability to comprehend is sadly misplaced.

 

 

Strike that last sentence. I am not lacking in ability, but in willingness. I refuse to read anymore of this ...well, words fail me.

 

 

If you are an adult, then write like one, not like a sixteen-year-old virgin:

 

"lowercase letters are the barefoot 16-year-old virgin petting a bunny in a field of daisies of typesetting. i have to confess, on occasion i have adopted that girly lowercase persona, but as of today, after i stop throwing up, i promise to throw away all childish things and use caps even if it kills every last kitten on earth."

 

from my little ad blog - where marketing meets snarketing

 

 

I tripped over the blog while looking for a photo of the bottle label to send to a friend. (Warning: some profanity)

 

 

Why all the upset over a bottle label? My dd handed me that bottle right after I received my third email of the week lacking capital letters. Youth, I can forgive, not easily, but I can do it. However, the third email came from a high school classmate. Shoot! She was the runner-up valedictorian, so she knows better. Without a doubt, there are nuns turning over in their graves.

 

In my generation, it is like a mid-life crisis. Except instead of acquiring younger boyfriends, my peers are dropping their capital letters. I guess it's the cheaper option.:tongue_smilie:

 

 

 

Edited June 6, 2012 by swimmermom3

[Guest]

I'm not a fan of lowercase-only, either. It's right up there with receiving back a text that just says, "k," as in "Okay." I hate it!

[Word Nerd]

a poster ive come across on another forum refuses to use any capital letters...or apostrophes...or punctuation...except for ellipses...its quite irritating...and it actually takes more effort to write this way than to use normal writing conventions...

[GoVanGogh]

My dd handed me that bottle right after I received my third email of the week lacking capital letters. Youth, I can forgive, not easily, but I can do it. However, the third email came from a high school classmate. Shoot! She was the runner-up valedictorian, so she knows better. Without a doubt, there are nuns turning over in their graves.

Most of DH's co-workers (highly educated engineers) never use any caps or punctuation. :001_huh: I'm sure there are a lot of English teachers out there rolling in their graves.

 

Edited to add:

I loved that blog. The entry about Summer's Eve was hilarious!

[swimmermom3]

a poster ive come across on another forum refuses to use any capital letters...or apostrophes...or punctuation...except for ellipses...its quite irritating...and it actually takes more effort to write this way than to use normal writing conventions...

 

I have wondered about this. For a younger person, they are already in the habit of dropping many writing conventions from years of texting. But, if you are over 30, don't you have to retrain yourself to write in the manner of the poster you are talking about?

 

Most of DH's co-workers (highly educated engineers) never use any caps or punctuation. :001_huh: I'm sure there are a lot of English teachers out there rolling in their graves.

 

Edited to add:

I loved that blog. The entry about Summer's Eve was hilarious!

 

I sold advertising in a previous life and focused on marketing in graduate school. Needless to say, since my kids were small, we have talked about the "logic" in advertising. That is why my dd was chuckling at a product called "smartwater." Also, I confess. I really did read the label and I really regret doing so.:tongue_smilie:

 

“is it just us, or do clouds get a bad rap? while we admit that they’re not as great to have around on a beach day, as say, the sun, clouds are unsung heroes because they contain nature’s purest source of water. meanwhile, spring water comes from the ground and contains random stuff and whatever else the animals that swim in it leave behind. that’s why we copied our white puffy friends by creating smartwater®. it’s vapor distilled so it is in its purest original state. but, we don’t stop there. we one-up the clouds by adding electrolytes. it’s a difference you can taste…unless, of course, you have no tastebuds (then you’re on your own).â€

 

If I drink this water, will I write like this?

[Margaret in GA]

Most of DH's co-workers (highly educated engineers) never use any caps or punctuation. :001_huh: I'm sure there are a lot of English teachers out there rolling in their graves.

 

Edited to add:

I loved that blog. The entry about Summer's Eve was hilarious!

 

:iagree: Yes! Thanks for the link!

[Guest submarines]

I like the visual aesthetics of all lower case in certain contexts. As long as it is deliberate and serves its purpose, what's the problem?

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

LMAO at OP! I so feel your pain. I hate the "fashionable" grammar and usage trends. Go dye your hair purple, but for heaven's sake, don't mess with grammar!!!

[Chelle in MO]

I agree, but I did have to laugh when I read this on the blog: "when David was driving us home (in our Subaru from the farmers market..."

 

Who knew you could get a Subaru at the farmers' market? ;) (And her apostrophe was missing!)

[Guest submarines]

LMAO at OP! I so feel your pain. I hate the "fashionable" grammar and usage trends. Go dye your hair purple, but for heaven's sake, don't mess with grammar!!!

 

Why not? It is fun to mess with grammar! :tongue_smilie:

I wouldn't mess with it (at least not on purpose) in letters or emails, but if I wanted to be creative? Sure! It is certainly more interesting and fun, than purple hair.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:smilielol5::smilielol5:I loved the blog link. I'm disappointed she didn't write more. And was I the only one who thought of a...different interpretation of the phrase "man up" on the Summer's Eve add?:blink: :D

[swimmermom3]

I like the visual aesthetics of all lower case in certain contexts. As long as it is deliberate and serves its purpose, what's the problem?

 

I have seen all lower case used effectively in poetry, but am having trouble visualizing where else it might work. I'd love to see an example, if you have one in mind.

 

From the visual aesthetics perspective, there have been studies done about typography and what is the easiest to read. That is why you still see many newspapers use Times New Roman. Both all lower case and all upper case win lower marks for readability. It may be easier for a writer of an email to skip using capitals, but it is not easier for the reader to decipher the text. They are missing the usual visual cues that can signify a change in topic or direction.

 

If a writer demands more effort from me to read their writing than is customary, I attribute it to a level of arrogance, not to creative playfulness. This type of writing says to me, "I am too busy to write correctly, but I expect you to take the time to read my stuff." Why should I? If you do not respect me as a reader, why do I owe you respect as a writer.

 

 

 

Why not? It is fun to mess with grammar! :tongue_smilie:

I wouldn't mess with it (at least not on purpose) in letters or emails, but if I wanted to be creative? Sure! It is certainly more interesting and fun, than purple hair.

 

I have no problem with this and am fascinated with good writers who do mess with grammar, but I think we are talking about two different things. The old adage of "knowing the rules before you can break them," comes to mind.

 

Ugh. This sounds snobby and that is not my intent. I have no room to talk. For over ten years, I probably did little writing that saw the light of day. As the kids got older and I had to correct more sophisticated writing, I found myself second-guessing every comma. I still do. I've wondered if the appropriate use of language is a "use it or lose it" skill. If you seldom write correctly, do you lose the ability to do so?

[Guest submarines]

I have seen all lower case used effectively in poetry, but am having trouble visualizing where else it might work. I'd love to see an example, if you have one in mind.

 

 

Well, just looking at the label, to me it feels that capitalising would've looked odd. They went with a certain curved look, and I think they were trying to be poetic. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think they wanted to distinguish that label from a typical label that lists ingredients. They wanted to slow down the reader, and force them to pay attention.

 

Now, for the actual text, they could've done (much) better. I like the blogger's tag line: "Smart, but not as smart as you." :D Your dd's chracterisation was spot on as well.

 

I remember seeing really interesting labels on water or some kind of a drink--they read reall well, had a nice rhythm to them. I can't remember the drink, though. :001_huh:

[creativish]

I often use mostly lowercase since I'm usually NAK and it is tricky to hit 2 keys with 1 hand correctly; esp to capitalize an "i" and I hate leaving "i"s uncapitalized almost as much as I hate deleting and going back and correcting my mistakes. :tongue_smilie:

So yeah, I know my circumstance is unique, but all lowercase is much better than all UPPERCASE!:ack2:

[swimmermom3]

Well, just looking at the label, to me it feels that capitalising would've looked odd. They went with a certain curved look, and I think they were trying to be poetic. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think they wanted to distinguish that label from a typical label that lists ingredients. They wanted to slow down the reader, and force them to pay attention.

 

Now, for the actual text, they could've done (much) better. I like the blogger's tag line: "Smart, but not as smart as you." :D Your dd's chracterisation was spot on as well.

 

I remember seeing really interesting labels on water or some kind of a drink--they read reall well, had a nice rhythm to them. I can't remember the drink, though. :001_huh:

 

You made me look, again.:lol: I had to go retrieve the bottle from dd's room.

 

From a graphic design point, you are right. The logo is rounded; the type is rounded, keeping everything fluid. So, let's keep the graphic artist, but I still want to flog the copywriter or whatever they call the person who wrote the psuedo-poem.

 

Well, I don't really want to flog him. I have this vision of some tousle-haired kid, not much older than my dd, who emerges from the office restroom after smoking too much vegetation, and presents his brilliant copy idea to the powers-that-be.

[Word Nerd]

After spending much of my afternoon editing marketing copy FILLED WITH ALL CAPS! AND MANY MANY EXCLAMATIONS!!!! I must say that if copywriters are going to be annoying and defy standard conventions, I'd rather look at all lowercase text than all uppercase. But rather than causing me to want to purchase what they're selling, this kind of carp makes me want to boycott them.

Edited June 6, 2012 by WordGirl

[beccad777]

I understand! I have a friend on Facebook who uses no punctuation or capital letters at all. AND she's a homeschooling mom! Drives.me.CRAZY!

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

 

Just saw this on facebook and it made me think of this thread. :D

[Bluegoat]

a poster ive come across on another forum refuses to use any capital letters...or apostrophes...or punctuation...except for ellipses...its quite irritating...and it actually takes more effort to write this way than to use normal writing conventions...

 

I know a poster like this - maybe the same one? It is really hard to know what the heck she is talking about.

[Chelle in MO]

 

Just saw this on facebook and it made me think of this thread. :D

 

That's hilarious!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I know a poster like this

 

Goodness y'all. I'm working on it! LOL I used to be *so* much worse about capitalizing words for emphasis and using ... between every phrase. Seriously, how people read anything I wrote in 2002 or 1999 or whatever is beyond me. I was just plain awful. I still probably have more issues than most in this regard. <sigh>