SKL Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Recently one or both of my kids has been caught lying, stealing, plotting stuff in whispers, ignoring adults' instructions, and being too cheeky for comfort. They are in KG and have been coming out of their shells socially. So I guess that means they are open to suggestion about things they wouldn't otherwise think of. But in addition to that, they are developing a devious streak. For example, dd2 moved dd1's behavior marker from "warning" to "good" so I would think the day's school behavior was acceptable. And generally, they are blowing off "rules" despite the expectation of consequences for this. I recall myself and my siblings doing similar things around the same age. So I guess this should not be "shocking," but I want it to stop. I would rather not have to follow my kids around and suspect their every movement for the next several years. Kinda takes the fun out of things. How do you folks address this kind of issue (if you've had to)? I have done the talking-to, books about the behavior, and traditional punishments. I don't feel like my reactions made much of an impression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Recently one or both of my kids has been caught lying, stealing, plotting stuff in whispers, ignoring adults' instructions, and being too cheeky for comfort. They are in KG and have been coming out of their shells socially. So I guess that means they are open to suggestion about things they wouldn't otherwise think of. But in addition to that, they are developing a devious streak. For example, dd2 moved dd1's behavior marker from "warning" to "good" so I would think the day's school behavior was acceptable. And generally, they are blowing off "rules" despite the expectation of consequences for this. I recall myself and my siblings doing similar things around the same age. So I guess this should not be "shocking," but I want it to stop. I would rather not have to follow my kids around and suspect their every movement for the next several years. Kinda takes the fun out of things. How do you folks address this kind of issue (if you've had to)? I have done the talking-to, books about the behavior, and traditional punishments. I don't feel like my reactions made much of an impression. In all honesty, if my ds had started doing those things at 5yo, I would most definitely have found it extremely shocking. I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to send you some :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hope you get some great ideas on how to stop this behavior, because if they're doing stuff like this at 5, what will they be like at 10 if you aren't able to get them to change? :eek: I'm glad to hear that you're addressing the problem now, so that hopefully you'll be able to put all of this behind you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I never blame unacceptable behavior on an age. Besides the fact that the behavior probably has nothing to do with the age--we've had discussions here about similar behavior from children of all ages--it's too easy to let things go because, after all, the children can't help it...it's their age. You might try tomato staking them. Otherwise, consistent, unchanging, relentless correction and discipline would be the direction *I'd* go...no talking to them, explaining again why it's not ok, no books about behavior--they know that what they're doing is unacceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I never blame unacceptable behavior on an age. Besides the fact that the behavior probably has nothing to do with the age--we've had discussions here about similar behavior from children of all ages--it's too easy to let things go because, after all, the children can't help it...it's their age. You might try tomato staking them. Otherwise, consistent, unchanging, relentless correction and discipline would be the direction *I'd* go...no talking to them, explaining again why it's not ok, no books about behavior--they know that what they're doing is unacceptable. This. My older 2 kids started younger than that, most people blew it off at being the age. By 6 & 7 they were Dx with conduct disorder and life has been less than stellar. I wish I had pushed harder back then to address it instead of believing those that said it was just the age. Because for some kids they do not just outgrow it etc. For somekids it becomes so ingrained you can never trust them and you are right that that takes the fun out of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosesinsummer Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Oh, I'm liking the tomato stalking website. Thanks!:hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 My older two daughters sometimes lie and are devious, and the oldest is homeschooled, and the younger (middle) isn't even really doing any school. I think it is human nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Oh, I'm liking the tomato stalking website. Thanks!:hurray: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 Any suggestions on how I can get their teachers on board? Particularly in after-school care, where there are certain kids they group up with to generate good and bad ideas. They are always under "supervision," but there is sneakiness afoot. For example, I heard them discussing how one friend was going to sneak candy from home to share with the others, without parents' approval. I told them this was wrong and disrespectful, but I don't know that they cared about that. I've instructed them to say "no thank you" to ANYONE at school offering them candy (we have issues with sugar), but I'm not there to know for sure they are obeying this. For one of my kids, the reward of eating sugar seems to outweigh the desire to do right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I never blame unacceptable behavior on an age. Besides the fact that the behavior probably has nothing to do with the age--we've had discussions here about similar behavior from children of all ages--it's too easy to let things go because, after all, the children can't help it...it's their age. You might try tomato staking them. Otherwise, consistent, unchanging, relentless correction and discipline would be the direction *I'd* go...no talking to them, explaining again why it's not ok, no books about behavior--they know that what they're doing is unacceptable. :iagree: I do not think that is age related behavior. I would have dealt with that sort of nonsense swiftly and surely. Because honestly, it won't get better with age, it'll get worse. Or in the words of Barney Fife, "Nip it in the bud!" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Any suggestions on how I can get their teachers on board? Particularly in after-school care, where there are certain kids they group up with to generate good and bad ideas. They are always under "supervision," but there is sneakiness afoot. For example, I heard them discussing how one friend was going to sneak candy from home to share with the others, without parents' approval. I told them this was wrong and disrespectful, but I don't know that they cared about that. I've instructed them to say "no thank you" to ANYONE at school offering them candy (we have issues with sugar), but I'm not there to know for sure they are obeying this. For one of my kids, the reward of eating sugar seems to outweigh the desire to do right. My dd7 craved sugar uncontrollably until she had to have two jaw teeth pulled and a spacer put in. I don't know if there are any you tube videos of dental work going on or anything like that that you could show them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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