Greek Life? Any experiences or opinions?

[Plucky]

I was never interested in Greek myself. I felt there was a bad stereotype about them that often was true.

 

Son is not interested in it either, but one hs mom mentioned that getting involved would be a good thing. Does anyone here have any good experiences/stories? I would only encourage one that was more academically focused or major oriented, and I haven't seen one, but I have not done a ton of research.

 

Opinions?

[Crimson Wife]

It really depends on the specific college what the tone of Greek life will be. At more-selective schools, fraternities and sororities are more than just party clubs. My sorority and DH's fraternity were good mixes of socializing, community service, and career/future life networking. However, my chapter would sometimes have joint events with a chapter at the nearby Cal State and I hate to say it, but they struck me as fitting the worst stereotype of sorority girls.

 

Alpha Phi Omega is a co-ed service fraternity that may be a good alternative to traditional Greek organizations.

[Starr]

My experience, living in a college town, is that many do social service projects but weekends are spent partying.

[momofkhm]

Son is not interested in it either, but one hs mom mentioned that getting involved would be a good thing. Does anyone here have any good experiences/stories?

 

The getting involved part is good. But it doesn't have to be Greek. My college didn't have Greeks. My mom mentioned that it would be good to be one in a group of 30 rather than one in a group of 1000(freshman class). I ran in high school so I went out for the crosscountry and track team. I still count some of them as friends today.

 

But there are a lot of clubs on college campuses. I'll push my kids into a Christian organization on campus. Look at the list of clubs offered on your son's campus and find a good fit that way.

 

Honestly, my only experiences with Greeks were that dh and I were on different colleges. The was a girl whom we both went to high school with was at his school and had 30 minutes to "grab a date" for a sorority event. Her boyfriend (now husband) was at a third college. So she grabbed dh both times it happened.

[Candid]

Recent article about hazing at Cornell: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/education/edlife/a-hazing-at-cornell.html

 

I would investigate very carefully the campus your son is at before going forward. Don't take the word of admission's officers on this one.

[Janice H]

beforehand, even if your dc is not living in the house.

 

Prepare for possible rejection.

[mumto2]

I had a good experience. It all depends on the campus. Research well. There should be a Greek life coordinator -- if DS decides he is interested I would contact and ask about alcohol, hazing, and grade points on that campus. I would never allow my child to pledge first semester freshman year. Way too quick. Will my kids pledge? Probably not. First dh is anti. He did ROTC. The second reason is they do not seem interested. Things very hugely between campuses, just because a soriety or fraternity is great one place does not mean it will be the same at another. Conventions can be hilarious.

[AdventureMoms]

I had a not great experience, but mostly because I joined a chapter that was failing. I liked the women in my chapter, but the overall organization was not a good fit for me.

 

There was no hazing whatsoever in my sorority experience though. Rumor was that the other greek orgs had more hazing, but I don't know anything for a fact. That was social fraternities though, the academic and service fraternities generally did not seem to haze or do some of the other cr@p that the socials did.

 

I did meet people who I still keep in touch with, and if it is a national organization, it can be good networking. I'd definitely make sure that the national is a good fit as well as the local chapter.

[Plucky]

Thanks, everyone. I forgot to come back to this thread since I c/p to the general forum as well. Update: He did tour Greek Preview. He's decided he does want to join a frat.

 

Fortunately, this kid tells me EVERYTHING. I always listen with an open mind, but we talked and talked. I wanted him to go to a Christian house - not a frat, but similar. He did not, so I think we are compromising with a dry frat. There is one I particularly like that is dry and they are an engineering/comp scie major frat.

 

They do some good things, and focus on academics especially STEM. I hope we are making the right choice. I guess worse case scenario is he changes his mind and moves. LOL

[Bostonian]

This article on frats at Dartmouth was very disturbing. It was also discussed at http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/129246/Dartmouth_fraternities.html#Post129246 .

 

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/confessions-of-an-ivy-league-frat-boy-inside-dartmouths-hazing-abuses-20120328

Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy: Inside Dartmouth's Hazing Abuses

by Janet Reitman

Rolling Stone

March 28, 2012 2:05 PM ET

[Dmmetler]

I am an Alpha Phi Omega-it's a service based fraternity (co-ed since the 1960s, although a couple of chapters are still all-male because of being grandfathered in). No houses (not allowed by the national organization, although it's not atypical for APOs to cluster in a dorm or to move off-campus together), no drinking whatsoever at any official event or while wearing letters or the pin, no hazing (and VERY strict rules on what is considered hazing and strong enforcement). Both DH and I are brothers and life members. APO was started by former Boy Scouts, but has drifted to more generic support of children's programming and activities due to Boy scouting choosing a more conservative vein than APO has gone with (so you'll now see Scouting advisers from other youth organizations, not just BSA).

 

Different campuses have different feels. At mine, almost all the APOs were fine arts majors (about half of us were music majors), and many of our service projects involved the arts and introducing children to the arts and providing academic support (and putting on performances at conventions/conferences for roll-call). DH's university had a lot of STEMs majors, so they did a lot of construction and Math/Science related projects, and barely mumbled the songs (when I spent a summer session on DH's campus, they were amazed that I actually sang). The chapter at the larger state U where DH and I did graduate work was much more "social", and their service projects were more on the philanthropic level (things like putting on a 5K run for the campus and community to benefit a specific charity), as opposed to the "Work with kids" projects or the "build a bridge for the local youth camp" or "Habitat for Humanity" type projects that my chapter and DH's chapter focused on.

 

APO is usually MUCH less expensive than other fraternities-usually there's a small pledge fee and an initiation fee. The formal badge is an optional purchase, and many members simply wear the service pin or the Life Member pin and never choose to buy the badge.

 

Another option is professional fraternities. They're kind of half-way between an honor society and a social fraternity, and tend to focus their mission on that specific discipline. Usually you can't join them until Sophomore year, though.

[Nan in Mass]

The Davidson thread was interesting. Thanks for posting it. (I didn't read the article - I was at UVa for awhile and can guess what it contained.)

 

Nan

[Second Time Around]

Still very confused about Greek stuff, and have never found a satisfactory explanation of what this means, how and why it started, and why it still exists? It's just yet another kind of university club, right? And if you're accepted into the club you get to share a group house? Then you belong to some group for the remainder of your life? Why is it such a big deal in the States? Just a tradition?

[Crimson Wife]

Still very confused about Greek stuff, and have never found a satisfactory explanation of what this means, how and why it started, and why it still exists? It's just yet another kind of university club, right? And if you're accepted into the club you get to share a group house? Then you belong to some group for the remainder of your life? Why is it such a big deal in the States? Just a tradition?

 

Most NPC (National Pan-Hellenic) Greek organizations date back to the mid-to-late 19th century. They started out as a mix of social and philanthropic activities. For many women in earlier decades, the main draw in joining a sorority was to help meet a suitable husband. Even today, there is a lot of socializing between sororities and fraternities. But there is a lot more emphasis on career networking rather than getting one's M.R.S.

 

Many Greek chapters have houses, though not all do, and even with the housed fraternities and sororities there may not be enough room in the house for every member to live there (at some schools only the officers live in the house).

 

Once someone pledges a Greek organization, he/she is a member for life. Some of the fraternities and sororities have a lot more active alumni/ae groups than others, and even within a particular organization it can vary depending on geographical location.

[Second Time Around]

Thank you!!! That was the clearest, most succinct summary I've ever come across. I've asked many friends, and no one was able to explain this to me!