If your husband has a sibling.....

[Soror]

We talk to dh's sister at family get togethers and he calls on her birthday, that's it. We have nothing in common and she doesn't initiate either.

[Kathleen in VA]

My dh and his older sister (by one year) talk on the phone several times a week and also talk often at church. We've gone to the same church for about 25 years so they are very close. Also, their mom has been having lots medical issues lately and they spend a lot of time discussing her care.

 

Dh's older brother (by 8 years) lives in a nearby suburb and recently retired. He is very involved in mil's care as well so he calls from time to time to discuss that. He also comes to visit about once a month on dh's day off and we have lunch and watch whatever latest release he brings for the kids to enjoy. They talk on the phone some but not as much as dh and his sister do. We spend all family holidays with them, too. He's an accountant so he also does our taxes for us.

[TravelingChris]

My husband is the youngest of four boys. He doesn't stay in touch with any of them anymore. It is by the other's choice but because of the choices they made in life, my husband doesn't really care. Two are irresponsible, lazy, addicted people. One is brain damaged because of his own actions and lives in an institution and doesn't want to talk to him because he really doesn't want to talk to just about anybody. So my husband has not talked to any of his brothers in about four years. He can't call them since they don't answer phones. THey live about 1000 miles away but even when we lived closer to them, we didn't visit them. The situation there is way too dysfunctional and the only thing they see their brother as is a potential source of cash. Plus the house is too smoke filled for any of us to visit.

[Alice]

My dh is the youngest of 4. They are all very close. They all live in the area and typically see each other weekly for a family dinner. They get together at other times also. We go to church with one sister, two of his sibs regularly babysit for us and it would be atypical for any holiday (Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, July 4th, family birthdays) to go by without being spent together.

 

I do think being in the same area is a big reason they are so close, although one brother used to live about 10 hours away and still came up fairly regularly to visit. Only one of his sibs has kids and all three are single at this point in time. That also creates a different dynamic for family get togethers and such. It's the norm and expected for us to go to events like graduations, recitals, games, etc for our nieces/nephew and they often come to our kids swim meets, piano recitals, baseball games, etc.

 

I'm an only child and the adjustment for me was difficult at first. It was hard for me to truly understand the sibling relationship but now I am grateful that my kids have the model of it being the norm for adult siblings to be very close.

[Mandy in TN]

I don't think it is a gender thing or maybe I am just abnormal. I have one brother as my only full-blooded sibling. We talk very seldom. Maybe, a few times a year. I love him very much and know that he loves me, but we live very, very different lives and there just isn't much to say. FWIW, we were very close growing up.

 

My dh has two brothers and two sisters. None of them live close- as in none of them live on the continent of North America. With the exception of his older brother, who is not close to the rest of the family, he speaks to them about every other month- sometimes more often.

 

OTOH- I speak to my mom several times each week. She is about 200 miles away. My dh speaks to his parents about once a month and they are on the other side of the globe.

 

Mandy

[Cortana]

Dh has an older brother and 2 younger sisters. He stays in contact with all of them and calls all of them or texts them regularly. There was a time with his brother where they didn't talk much (dh's bro was going through some weirdness) and it hurt dh pretty badly to not have his brother in his life. There's been a lot of healing and now dh and his brother are in constant contact with each other, they call each other pretty much every other day.

 

With his sisters it's different and it's complicated. He calls them as much as the situation allows (usually has to do with if they've got a working phone or not) but the contact is limited and it's something that bothers him a lot as he loves his sisters very much.

[delaney]

My DH has 2 younger brothers who call/visit as much as they can. I believe the fact that their mom died when DH was 13 has a lot to do with it. I don't keep in touch with my brothers at all and my sister lives in the same town but she is single and 15 years younger so we don't hang out so to speak.

[KrissiK]

DH has great relationships with his brothers, although they don't keep in touch. They have a wonderful time together at family gatherings at the holidays, etc. but they're just busy and aren't really "talk on the phone" type of people. My mother has two sisters and they're very close, they talk all the time. I think women are just more relational and if they are on good terms with a sibling, they will keep in closer contact.

[erinjo]

My husband has an older half-brother and a younger sister, as well as several step-siblings. His dad didn't remarry their mom till they were all adults, so the steps are not particularly close.

 

He has an okay relationship with his brother; a friendly relationship I guess you'd say. They aren't super close but they don't hate each other and they talk via facebook fairly often.

 

He is very close with his sister. Part of it is some of the horrific stuff they went through together after their parents divorced. They talk nearly daily either via instant message or on the phone.