hsbaby Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 My dd is 15. She is dx with Autism. I have been homeschooling her since the third grade. In the last few years she has made ZERO progress. I mean none....at. all. She plateaued at about a second grade level in all areas. She barely grasps adding single digit numbers....it's a daily struggle. So, no moving on to anything else in math. She can't remember any grammar/ parts if speech at all. She can read, but struggles to narrate back to me as she can't organize her thoughts well. Writing a narration? No way. Elementary science and history goes right over her head. After reading (or listening to me read) she can't recall a single fact. I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall every day. I have tried so many curriculums, but she just hits a wall (like with the addition) and can't move up. How many times can we do second grade, seriously? I truly just don't think she's capable of any higher level skills. So, what do I do with her all day? I feel like giving up. She really just can't do the work and repeating the same level materials doesn't seem to cement anything. What's the point....we both end up in tears a lot if days. I just have no idea what to do:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Anyone?:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholarly Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I have no ideas for you, but :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I have no experience with autism but wanted to try to give you a bump. Have you tried posting on the special needs board? I suppose if I were in your shoes I would try to find what she is good at or has a passion for and try to build on that. What does she love, is there anything she excels at? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 I could use a hug, so thanks:). I'm so defeated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I would contact your public school district and find out about testing her IQ and seeing what services she is eligible for, both now and in the future. If she really is only capable of 2nd grade work, it's unlikely she will ever be able to live independently. What are your plans for her for when she is older? Will she be able to work? Honestly, at this point I think you should probably be thinking less about educating, and more about getting her on whatever track she needs to be on to prepare for being an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TippyCanoe Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) . Edited November 21, 2012 by Doodler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I would also contact your local school district and have testing done. Here children are worked with individually in the locals schools until they plateau. Once that happens they are moved to the Regional Educational Sevices Agency's schools (RESA) with an emphasis on life skills to make them as independent as possible and to help with further placement within the community as they get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I feel your pain :grouphug::grouphug:. This is NOT your fault, so please don't blame yourself for lack of progress. My ds12 has autism, but he is placed in a ps. I would really like to remove him since he seems to pick up every negative behavior, but at this point I don't think I could meet his needs and those of youngest ds. He is verbal, but is reading probably around 2 to 3rd grade level. He cannot add 2+2. I honestly can't see him living independently in the future unless something drastically changes. Our ps provides therapy/special ed services to any homeschooled child who qualifies through the federal "child find" mandate (you go through the full IEP process). My youngest ds was recently evaluated by the school district and he qualified for math intervention and OT. We said "no, thanks" to the math, but he does now go to school one out of every four days for a 40 minute OT session. Would it be possible to have your local school district provide some services for your dd? Also, since your dd is older, I would definitely look at more life skills types of curriculum to develop functional abilities so she can be as independent as possible. You don't have to give up on teaching reading/math and exposing her to history and science. However, you may need to re-evaluate your goals when teaching her. With our ds12, we really approach every task with the thought in mind that it has to have some functional value for him and be meaningful. We also continue with math instruction, but his IEP now includes learning to use a calculator and learning keyboarding skills. Many virtual hugs to you and your dd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 In your place I think -- again, only think, because I am not in that situation -- I'd begin to put most of my emphasis not on academics but on life skills. :iagree: This is exactly what I was thinking. I used to manage a sheltered work program. Participants became eligible at age 16yo, and all evaluations and services were paid for by the Department of Rehabilitation Services. (This was in Illinois, so you may want to find out if there is a similar organization in your state.) Participants had the opportunity to do paid work and got paid piece rate. At the same time, the IDORS representative would help the family investigate residential programs, academic programs, mental health programs and whatever other services might be appropriate. :grouphug::grouphug: This is a very difficult decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cholderby Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 That is a very tough spot. I have used our public schools services. I was so, so scared to do it because I have heard so many horror stories. It was a lovely experience, all of the therapists we worked with were awesome. I just wanted to add that in case going to your local school system terrifies you like it did me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I have used our public schools services. I was so, so scared to do it because I have heard so many horror stories. It was a lovely experience, all of the therapists we worked with were awesome. I just wanted to add that in case going to your local school system terrifies you like it did me. There are a ton of horror stories out there when it comes to getting special services, but those really are the exception. The people who work in special education do it because they care. There is no other real benefit. The horror stories happen when they are not equipped to provide services, and especially when you are attempting to mainstream a student, thereby pulling unqualified classroom teachers into the program. If they have what you need, it is most likely that you will have a good experience. And if they can't provide what your family needs, you don't have to continue to recieve services. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I would contact your public school district and find out about testing her IQ and seeing what services she is eligible for, both now and in the future. If she really is only capable of 2nd grade work, it's unlikely she will ever be able to live independently. What are your plans for her for when she is older? Will she be able to work? Honestly, at this point I think you should probably be thinking less about educating, and more about getting her on whatever track she needs to be on to prepare for being an adult. :iagree: I'm so sorry this is so hard. But I'm thinking life skills. If she isn't going to get a mainstream job, she doesn't really need the mainstream skills for that. Teach her what she needs to know to live the life she is capable of. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I haven't read any other replies but I would work on daily living skills with her. Basic cooking skills, telling time if she can't, basic fractions-- those kind of things. How is she with those skills? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Thank you all SO much for your input. I think I needed others to confirm what I suspected....that I should change our focus from academics to life skills. It is just a hard change to embrace as it feels a bit like I am giving up on her. I finally have to acknowledge that she will likely always function at a young elementary level....and that is heartbreaking. I will definitely look into all the resource options you suggested, especially as she nears 18 and will qualify for vocational training, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Thank you all SO much for your input. I think I needed others to confirm what I suspected....that I should change our focus from academics to life skills. It is just a hard change to embrace as it feels a bit like I am giving up on her. I finally have to acknowledge that she will likely always function at a young elementary level....and that is heartbreaking. I will definitely look into all the resource options you suggested, especially as she nears 18 and will qualify for vocational training, etc. You are definitely not giving up on her... you are giving her the individualized education that she needs! That's the whole point of homeschooling, after all :) I would contact the district sooner rather than later. Perhaps next week, to get the ball rolling. It will take a while... many months, possibly... to do the testing and to help you work out a plan. The sooner you can get all that out of the way, the sooner you can get started really thinking about what she needs to know now and later. Everything will get more complicated when she's 18 and an adult, so it will be a lot easier if you start things now. Edited April 20, 2012 by momma2three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 It is just a hard change to embrace as it feels a bit like I am giving up on her. I know it is easy to feel this way. But you are not giving up on her if you are focussing on what she can do and contribute. I had clients in my sheltered work program that were much lower functioning than you described your dd but who led very happy lives. One of my favorites was a middle-aged man with cerebral palsy. He was severely retarded, wheel-chair bound, could not talk, and could barely see. Yet he was one of the most competent and cheerful workers we had. One day, he brought a picture of himself in front of a cord of wood, and his mother had written on the back that he had chopped the whole of it. He was so happy and proud. This man led a very happy, productive life. Your dd can be happy and productive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2queens&1princenmyhouse Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 :grouphug: I don't have anything to add beyond what others have said, just wanted to show support. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Since most of my knowledge of Autism comes through media stereotypes, I don't know if this will be a useful comment. I think transitioning to life skills is important, and I also wonder if she has a "thing" or two that particularly interests her. If she does (and if that's not a totally offensive ignorant stereotype) what would it look like for you to use academic time to help her delve as deeply as she wants to into the details of whatever fascinates her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie131 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I have a background both educationally and in the field working with autism (specifically adults). I have witnessed the struggles faced by families of individuals with autism, but I have never lived day in and day out with a child with autism. One of the men that I worked most specifically with functioned at around an age 2-4 level and was largely non-verbal. I worked one on one with him in his home and attended adult education classes with him and tailored the curriculum to fit his abilities and needs. I can understand your frustration. I worked for two years with him to learn basic math facts to 10. He never learned to read (couldn't even follow along when the words on a page were pointed out). His family was very persistent that we continue as education was important to them, but I can assure you that he gained very little from that experience. What he did benefit from, was time that we spent together volunteer shopping for the elderly at the grocery store (he loved that!), he enjoyed visiting museums and libraries. He loved getting a coffee and walking along the beach. Oh and swimming. He was a fantastic swimmer. Eventually his parents withdrew him from his adult classes and we focussed more on outings, shopping, life skill development etc (he will never live independently). I can say that he does live a good life. The guy is kept busier with activities at 46 than my kids are! He is a contributing member of his community. I am no longer working with him, he is now attending a day program that schedules various similar activities as what we did and participates in volunteer work. I don't know if I am one who can give advice, as I certainly have not walked a mile in your shoes, but from my experience I believe it is more benficial to focus on abilities rather than inabilities. If your child is never going to be a scholar than don't focus your energy on that. What does your dd express interest in? Is there any sort of paying work that she could do? Volunteer work? Has she expressed an interest in art or music or sports? I don't see why her "school" can not comprise of such things. I'm not saying abandon academics entirely, but maybe not place such a heavy emphasis on it. Do you receive any support in terms of a support worker or therapist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 :iagree: DH and I have discussed what a hs day would look like for oldest ds if we ever did remove him from ps. I would definitely focus on life skills: reading recipes, doing laundry, running a household kind of stuff. We would do a lot of field trips: reading menus and ordering at restaurants; making a grocery list and shopping for items, etc. I would still work on reading and math, but in a more functional way. You are not giving up on your dd if you do this, you are meeting her needs. I agree with others to follow her strengths and interests. Quality of life also depends on finding those things that keep you happy, like some sort of sport or hobby. I recently found a calculator that can be used for money (has dollar sign, decimal point). I plan on ordering it for ds so he can practice how to add up dollar amounts to make sure he would have enough money to make a purchase. Since he still can't do basic addition, we need to find ways to help him face these challenges so he can be as independent as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Thank you all SO much for your input. I think I needed others to confirm what I suspected....that I should change our focus from academics to life skills. It is just a hard change to embrace as it feels a bit like I am giving up on her. I finally have to acknowledge that she will likely always function at a young elementary level....and that is heartbreaking. I will definitely look into all the resource options you suggested, especially as she nears 18 and will qualify for vocational training, etc. In our area that vocational training starts as early as the middle school level, along with coping skill (calculator use) and life skills (learning to shop, cook, etc.) so you might want to check into what is available in your area sooner versus later, you don't have to take advantage right now necessarily but you could come up with a long term plan. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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