8th grader on strike

[Phoatogirl]

My 8th grader is on strike. There has been a slow deterioration in his mood regarding school since December to the point where he didn't do anything a couple weeks ago. He's frustrated with me regarding math(I'm slow) and doesn't see the point in the rest of the subjects since they'll make him do them all over again anyway if he goes to college (or high school for that matter). Yes there is a certain level of depression here, so I have not seriously put down my food and locked him in his room.

 

He is brighter than average and shines in the area of analysis of situations. He's very principled, yet following his principles will cause him grief and alienation since society often doesn't think like him (or maybe they do but don't bother to try to change things). He will not willingly and happily do school just because I say so at this point.

 

Over the last week he has done 1/2 to 3/4 of his assignments. He will. It add Latin back in,however. He doesn't see the point in it and argues that is doesn't count as a foreign language credit now anyway, so why point him through it when he still has to do two or three years more anyway. Of course I've given all the reasons for doing it but do far he's adamant( even looked up requirements at the catholic high to see if they make 8th graders take a language).

 

What should I do? He doesn't care if I take away his computer or knitting project (he knitted 2 16foot long dr who scarves and is working on another). Other than that he's reading War and Peace, which seems like a strange thing to take away from a noncompliant teen

 

 

Thoughts?

 

Wendy

[Guest]

What are you having him do? 8th graders are all attitude. I would let up except in math and let him read good books for a time. War and Peace? I would not be too worried. Sounds like a little pow wow is in order, as well. Ask him what he thinks he should be doing or what he wants to focus on then let him. I would return the knitting project and computer as long as he is not using it to play on. Missing a bit of Latin now is not going to hurt him long term. But fighting will harm your relationship long term. One of my olders got really mad once and asked me "What is more important? My academics or me to you?" It was a serious slap in my face. Perhaps your son feels he needs a lighter time before the true stress of high school kicks in. If he is advanced, I would let him have it. That is just me, though.

[Snowfall]

I think he's old enough to have some input in his education, and Latin is not a hill to die on, IMO. I can see why he would think it's pointless, and at his age, I wouldn't make him do it. But what do I know? My oldest is 7. :)

[ktgrok]

Hmm...maybe let him plan out the rest of the year? Or take an online highschool course that counts for credit so he doesn't have the excuse of having to repeat it later?

[elegantlion]

Latin can count as a foreign language credit to most colleges.

 

My son is 8th grade, pretty much a willful negotiator (genetic trait :tongue_smilie:) and needs a reason for each subject, otherwise he'll balk.

 

I think 8th graders like to test things, they need to know more than "just because I said so".

 

In our case I did sit down and comprise a summary of subjects and why they were important. They are either foundational to further study, they are required by my standards, or they are important to become a educated individual. I DID have to tell him why algebra was important, we still argue over the oddities of English, and he'd rather discuss something for 20 minutes than write one sentence about it.

 

I also think at this age they need to believe that their principles may somehow change the world. Honestly, who are we to tell them they can't? Many changes in history have come about because one person stood up to the belief that their involvement would make a difference, and it did.

 

Is he bored with what he's studying? Is he ready to take it to a higher level, does he want something that seems out of the box?

 

Have you looked at The Great Courses? They have courses on everything under the sun (watch for sales!). Maybe there is something there to spark his interest.

 

Ds and I recently compromised on Latin. He'd prefer to stop. I'm requiring it. We compromised by switching to a program that will get him through my requirements at least a semester early. It empowers him in his education and we're both happier.

[Shellers]

Hmm...maybe let him plan out the rest of the year? Or take an online highschool course that counts for credit so he doesn't have the excuse of having to repeat it later?

 

:iagree:

 

I think getting him involved in picking out his curriculum is the way to go.

[Pen]

Hmmm. If he were mine, I think I would ask for an essay letting me know what he thinks he should be (should not be) studying and why, possibly including plans for life and career (both professional and personal aspects) and how what he is choosing will fit in to that.

 

I'd certainly be open to substituting a living language for Latin, and War and Peace would be fine with me for literature/reading. Maybe he wants to try Russian and to get to where he can experience W&P in its original language?

 

Maybe it is time for a unit comprised of an internship in the real world or volunteer work of some type. Something for a break and change of pace.

 

Or maybe a break to do some intensive art, or work in garden or... ?

 

Maybe he is even ready to see if he can take the GED now and move on to college level work. Or study for GED now and start into college level next year.

[T'smom]

I would ask him to make a plan regarding his education. Tell him to set some goals and a plan for reaching them. You might be surprised with what he comes up with! Let him know that the plan must be accepted by you but that it IS his education and ultimately he is responsible. If he comes up with a plan that you agree with, great! If not, tell him what has to be changed (say, must have one foreign language, complete one math course/year, etc) Some kids are MUCH more motivated when it's their own idea.

[happycc]

What if you require him to read the TWTM book?

 

 

Maybe that might change his mind. Who knows. Maybe something in there might spark some kind of interest.

[lexi]

I was homeschooled in highschool and my mom would meet with me regularly to let me have some input on curricula or topics I wanted to study. Now, I wasn't all attitude so I was probably much easier to negotiate with ;) but it did help that I had a say in what I was studying. But there were also days I didn't want to do school and I was frustrated.....she had me push through it sometimes and other times gave me my space or let me do something a little different for a while to follow my interests. Once I realized college requirements and knew where I wanted to go, I became much more motivated and she helped me map out what I needed in order to achieve my goals. We survived and so did our relationship :D so maybe that will give you some hope. I hope you find a solution. I know I'm going to hit that point someday.....I hopefully have a while with my oldest though.

 

:grouphug:

[ErinE]

I don't have one this age, but I would encourage you to ask him what he thinks he should study. If he's college bound, make sure you have a clear outline of what is required for a college prep course. Even if he only wants a high school education, get your state's high school graduation requirements and review them together. Even in public school, my parents had little input on my high school classes so I think including him in his studies would help him get over the disconnect between his interests and your interests.