S/O High school sweethearts=true love??!

[Dustybug]

But... don't you think that just depends on what circles you move in, what socio-economic class you were raised in, what religion you're part of, what your community looks like, etc.? I mean, that's not what my FB feed looks like! Most of my good friends from school are married with kids now, and so are many of my acquaintances from back in the day as well. A few had kids alone (perhaps unexpected life detours), some are single or dating, but it's not like you describe.

 

I do think parents are often too caviler and dismissive about teenage relationships. Not every one I had was true love, but they were important relationships to me and I think of them as serious, real experiences - and the ones at 16 or 17 were no less important in the moment than the one at 22, when I got married to dh. There's not such a huge gap in age there.

 

As in "My baby-daddy can't watch _____, so I can't go to the club for New Years." No, it isn't a joke.

 

 

 

 

I'm sure it has a lot to do with it. I just don't see many people that attended my suburban high school with a family at this point. I see a lot of people waiting to get married and have children, more often the further you go up the socioeconomic ladder. Really it's been almost everyone except the people who were raised in poverty or by very young mothers themselves.

 

Most of my classmates are nearly 30, and very few of them have children. Some are married, but most are not. I don't know if my own experience corresponds to the rest of the nation, but I know it differs from the average board experience here where young marriage is more common. I was married at 21, and I'll be very surprised if 1/3 of my classmates will be married by 31. It's an odd feeling to have been raised in the same environment as so many people and live such a different life.

 

 

Huh. I'm 28. I've been married for 6 1/2 years. I am an evangelical Christian, but my husband was NOT when we met/married and I have a ton of friends/acquaintances who are not and still most everyone I know is married. Many of them have children already or pregnant now. Many of them are middle-class/upper middle class people with college degrees as well. Interesting how things are in different parts of the country.

 

And I too, hear the term "Baby daddy" or "baby mama" more frequently than I care to. :glare:

[PeacefulChaos]

Oh, and we are Christians, also. (I guess we're evangelicals? I don't really know what people mean by that term)... but we still were younger than many when we got married. A lot of our friends may have gotten married in their early/mid 20s, we'd been married a few years by then. And most of them just started having kids in the last couple years. I tell them they are old. :lol:

[serene]

:iagree:

 

I have no regrets getting married young and I really do hope my kids meet somebody young too.

 

On a side note, my oldest son's best friend - who is like my other son married a girl from our homeschool group. His friend was not even homeschooled - he just was always hanging out at our house with a lot of the homeschooled kids. They are 23 and 21 now and have a baby girl that they graciously let my dh and I be grandma and grandpa to. We love that they are married and together!

 

 

^^ This is precious. What a blessing for you! :grouphug:

[6packofun]

I think personality is a huge influence on the high school sweetheart thing. Of all the high school sweetheart lasting marriages that *I* know, one or both spouses was never a person who dated a lot (by choice or not) and they seemed very comfortable and laid back with one another, many times not very gushy-romantic, either. So why look for something else? Maybe they were less choosy (not in a bad way) or low maintenance or didn't want to play the dating game or don't idealize marriage/the other person in an unrealistic way or any of a number/combination of idosyncrasies.

 

This doesn't make me think "getting married young" is preferable by any means, although we married at 20 and 21. I don't encourage my teens to start dating around in high school because we take marriage very seriously here and teen dating usually just...isn't. LOL (Not always, I don't need to hear how your teen marriage is 30 years strong, I'm just saying *usually*. :D )

[The Girls' Mom]

I think teen love can be very real. And very intense, honestly. I can see my dds falling in love as teens, and getting married fairly young. I remember all too well what 16 was like. But this is also why we aren't really planning on allowing casual dating per say. I know how quickly a crush can go to something pretty serious. (it took dh and I all of two dates, when I was 15, to fall head over heels for each other)

 

My oldest dd and I have talked a LOT about the importance of guarding your heart. It's hard.

[-M-]

What does everyone else think about that poll?!

 

Well, I met my husband -- in band! -- when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore in high school. We began dating in March of my senior year. We remained together through college, although we attended different schools at opposite ends of the state. We then married the month after I turned 22.

 

And we celebrated our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this past year.

[Melissa in CA]

I met my dh in 11th grade. We were just friends and each had a significant other at the time. In 12th grade he asked me out...several times before I said yes...and aside from a couple episodes of "breaking up" we have been together ever since. That was back in 1981! We married in 1985 and love each other more now than ever. We still hold hands like teenagers and are not ashamed to hug and kiss in public. High school love CAN last. I couldn't imagine being married to anybody else. ;)

[-M-]

Part of my reply remained in my head when I pressed "SUBMIT." Heh, heh, heh.

 

It included the notes that neither of us is religious (at. all.) and that our first child was born a few months after our third wedding anniversary. Since someone mentioned the demography behind marrying one's high school sweetheart, I will add that we both earned our undergraduate degrees and that I also earned my MA and completed a post-graduate program of study. We have always lived 100 to 3,000 miles away from our families of origin. We have three children, and we're comfortable.

 

Oh, and here's an interesting note: My husband's brother also married his high school sweetheart. They married four years after she graduated and will celebrate their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this coming year. Neither of them attended college, and both have always lived just minutes from both of their families of origin.

 

As for encouraging -- or discouraging -- my children on the subject of "marrying young," we have simply been honest: It worked for us. We were lucky. We knew, but it's not always that simple.

[PRTGSw2K]

DH and I met while home on Thanksgiving break, freshman year of college. We were going to different schools. We started dating a week later and have been together since. We married about 5.5 years ago. Just celebrated the 14 year anniversary of our first date last month. :D

[MamaT]

I was 17 when I married my dh, who was 23. We are both college grads (I went after we married), have six kids, and while we aren't rich, we are comfortable financially. I hope my own dc who aren't married don't marry quite that early, but it worked for us. We have been married 30 years, and are going strong.