JennifersLost Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm just reading all the Thanksgiving/family threads and decided to put my two cents in. I hate controversy, hate family arguments, hate anything that involves high (negative) emotions. I always was the good girl, kept my mouth shut when others were rude, and so on and on..... BUT. I am old enough now to have learned that once in awhile you have to make a fuss, or people will walk all over you. So for all you lovely ladies who are dealing with rudeness/relatives/crazymakers - go ahead, kick up a fuss. They may fuss back or leave or talk about you for the next six months. But you'll be thanking yourself next year! About seven years ago I had a pretty major meltdown (for me) on Thanksgiving. Believe you me - everybody behaves themselves very well at my house now! And seems to enjoy themselves. Go ahead. You know you want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm saving mine for Christmas. My in-laws invited themselves, which isn't a huge deal, but they also invited their golden retriever along. Dh (their son, their firstborn) has MAJOR dog allergies -- like he can't breathe around them, yet last time they brought the dog, f-i-l pouted the whole time when I wouldn't let the dog in the house. This policy was established when they asked to bring him -- I didn't really give permission, suggested a kennel, but they can't do that to their baby. They have a specific idea about what the menu and schedule must be, and I'll have to conform to it or deal with their whining. I may well have a fit and throw them out if this time is anything like last time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Oh, I would SO say, I'd love to have you and the dog, but Dh is so severly allergic that he CAN'T BREATHE with a dog in the house, so you'll have to leave the dog home or in a kennel. What would they say? What could they say? My goodness, some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Dang. I'd tell them they could leave the dog home or not bother coming at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Dang. I'd tell them they could leave the dog home or not bother coming at all. Yeppers. That is what I told my FIL. We are a pet-free family, TYVM. If I wanted dog hair all over, I'd have a dog! So, FIL never comes to visit. That is his loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Dang. I'd tell them they could leave the dog home or not bother coming at all. I did that last time, they brought him anyway. This time, they didn't even contact me/haven't talked to me, and are going through dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm just reading all the Thanksgiving/family threads and decided to put my two cents in. I hate controversy, hate family arguments, hate anything that involves high (negative) emotions. I always was the good girl, kept my mouth shut when others were rude, and so on and on..... BUT. I am old enough now to have learned that once in awhile you have to make a fuss, or people will walk all over you. So for all you lovely ladies who are dealing with rudeness/relatives/crazymakers - go ahead, kick up a fuss. They may fuss back or leave or talk about you for the next six months. But you'll be thanking yourself next year! About seven years ago I had a pretty major meltdown (for me) on Thanksgiving. Believe you me - everybody behaves themselves very well at my house now! And seems to enjoy themselves. Go ahead. You know you want to. I wanted to add one--traditions are made to be broken. Just because Great Aunt Sally ALWAYS has Thanksgiving at her house doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to say "no thanks" and do what you want. Don't feel bad for living your own life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I did that last time, they brought him anyway. This time, they didn't even contact me/haven't talked to me, and are going through dh. What did you do??? Some people really have nerve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm so tired of self-absorbed people that I don't have the energy t throw a hissy-fit although I commend those that do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 What did you do??? Some people really have nerve! I told them up front that given the fact that dogs give their son asthmatic reactions, I needed to keep the house completely free of dog allergens, so the dog would not be allowed in the house and everyone who went out to be with the dog would be expected to use a lint brush before coming in. I reminded them that it would be cold, and suggested that the dog would be happier staying home in a kennel or with friends (they trade dogsitting with friends often, like when they go to s-i-l's -- they live in a seventh floor high rise in Chicago). I cleared only enough room in the garage for the kennel they brought. And I held my line -- had a basket of lint brushes by the door, and when f-i-l whined, I held my ground and let him go pout. This time, they just declared that they were coming (I was hoping for a no-company Christmas) and that they were bringing the dog. They did this when dh was out in CO at our nephew's baptism. I wasn't even there, and he was raised to never contradict his mother, especially when his father is around :001_rolleyes:. If it weren't such a pain to relocate Christmas, I would have been so tempted to go invade my family and not say anything to his. Both sides are about 17 hours away, in opposite directions. My dad is clergy and has to work on Christmas, so they never get to come to us, so my s-i-ls know that if they pull the 'other side of the family' card, we don't have one. (Youngest s-i-l hates getting stuck with the dog, too, as he terrorizes her cats, trying to play with them. The dog is a relatively new addition, and gets much more consideration than any of the kids or grandkids. ... Overall, he's a nice dog, except for bad training, which I place on the owners more than the animal.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I wanted to add one--traditions are made to be broken. Just because Great Aunt Sally ALWAYS has Thanksgiving at her house doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to say "no thanks" and do what you want. Don't feel bad for living your own life![/QUOTE] Awesomely good advice. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.