What to do with a slow learner... I need help

[carlyincali]

Let me start this off by saying that my first three children (22, 14, & 12) were fast learners. They were/are homeschooled and never had a problem.

 

My 7yo son is having the hardest time! We repeated kindergarten last year, and now he's in 1st grade. We are on ETC 1-1/2 and each page is a struggle. Three letter, short vowel words are hard for him. He knows all his letter sounds and can say blends quickly, (ba, de, ti, etc). But when it comes to three letters, he can barely read them!

 

Math is another problem. We did Right Start and he progressed slowly. This year we switched to CLE Light Units for 1st grade. And he is now struggling with that. I guess I need to switch back to RS.

 

I don't know what to do! He is so smart and quick, just like a normal kid. He is not slow in the least bit. No delays at all. But when it comes to school, he can't do it.

 

I am so tempted to put him in public school so that they can get him reading and doing math. I feel like a failure right now.

[Lily_Grace]

I don't know if it would help your son, but quite a while ago I saw a piece on a phonics program where instead of working with paper after paper, reading lessons are taught with a moveable alphabet so the children have the advantage of using sight, touch, and sound all together. It especially helped the boys in the group. It made so much sense to me that we now have two different alphabet sets in waiting for the baby - one with magnets and one without, both lowercase. When it comes time to teach him we'll use those first instead of paper. My oldest had color coded tiles to help him learn blends and he took off with them. I think back to my school days and wonder if they did us a disservice by ignoring that extra sense we could have used.

[Aurelia]

Have you considered having his eyes checked by a developmental opthamologist? He might have trouble with vision which causes him to struggle with schoolwork.

[AHASRADA]

BTDT, in fact, still doing that :) I know how frustrating and exhausting it can be to teach a kid who "just doesn't get it" after breezing through with a dc who learns well traditionally.

 

I just wanted to pipe in to say don't dream that the school can and will do any better than you can. True, it can be a long road, involve a lot of research about learning styles, different teaching approaches and techniques, possibly testing for learning disabilities, etc and a great deal of trial and error.

 

There is no way the school will put in the same amount of time and effort for your child that his mother will. They may be touted as "experts", but you are the only expert on your own child, and so many kids fall through the cracks because they are given cookie-cutter remediation that does not necessarily address their unique challenges.

 

You are not a failure. You successfully taught several other children, this one is simply presenting a greater challenge. You can do this, and he will thrive, without the stigma, possible labels and damage to self-esteem he would endure in PS.

 

:grouphug:

[threeofakind]

I just want to say that you are not a failure and I personally don't think sending him to public school just so he can get caught up is the answer- I think it's more who he is and he just needs time. I was a reading specialist and my boy was slow and last year in second grade something clicked for him- and now he is fine. For some kids getting passed cvc words is a lot work and those are the kids I worked with a lot.

 

Just daily practice and reinforcement is what he needs- I don't know the programs you use (I'm a first yr. homeschooler here) but a good solid phonics lesson includes 1. phonemic awareness (I break apart a word and you put it back together, you say c-a-t and he says cat) and no visual, all oral 2. review vowels in isolation or other sounds he's working on 3. choose a few words for him to blend one sound at a time related to the sounds he is working on- you write on a white board or something p, he says the sound, pe he says the sound for e and then puts the sound together, then write t and he says the sound for t and then puts all the sounds together and then says the word 'pet' again. Do this for several words he will com across in his reading. 4. Have him read decodable text. 5. Choose a few words he blended earlier and write down one sound at a time, like pet- say the word and help him break apart the word and write one sound at a time.

 

Sorry for the long response, but this is what I did for kids at school and it does help (I assume the programs you use utilize some of this anyway, so sorry if it is repetitive), just it took awhile for kids to click- some half a year and others the entire year. At his age and grade, the pressure is on at public school but at home I believe he can thrive with his mom's patience! :001_smile:

[FairProspects]

Have you considered having his eyes checked by a developmental opthamologist? He might have trouble with vision which causes him to struggle with schoolwork.

 

:iagree:with this. How is he with fine and gross motor skills? Writing? If that is a problem too I would consider an OT evaluation for the vestibular system which controls eyes, body, hands, etc. There may be a reason he is struggling even though he is very bright developmentally.

[momto3innc]

My mom works at a special ed teacher in the ps...while she loves the kids, there is so much paperwork, so much testing, so much working out different schedules, it is hard to actually get anything done. You are a far better advocate yourself (although it is very tiring).

My ds was really struggling at the start of last year with reading (6 at the time). He seemed so bright in other areas I just didn't get it. Well, long long story short...we had him tested and he has dyslexia along with processing speed issues. He just doesn't do things fast. From what we learned in the testing, we've been able to do quite a lot of things differently and we have seen huge improvements. While it has been tiring and costly, the beauty of it, is that he has no idea something is/was wrong. The testing was just "Miss Sarah is going to find out all the cool things you know" and everything else we do is just part of school. He has no thoughts of "I'm stupid" or "everyone can do this better than me" that I unfortunately used to see when I was a classroom teacher with kids who learned differently. To me, that is one of the best things of all with homeschooling.

 

Oh, and we did have his eyes tested through a covd.org eye doctor. While his vision was 20/20, he could not zoom, track, or converge. We are at the end of vision therapy and have seen a HUGE difference just from this. I would say vision therapy took care of half the problem, what we learned in testing is helping us with the rest.

[LizzyBee]

He is smart but struggling with academics. This is an indication of a learning disability (although I will be the first to say that learning disability is a misnomer - kids with LDs are perfectly capable of learning - it just takes some extra effort to teach them the way they learn).

 

Some resources I found particularly helpful include:

The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide

Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World by Jeffrey Freed

How to Get Your Child off the Refrigerator and On To Learning by Carol Barnier

http://www.dys-add.com

http://www.bartonreading.com

http://www.mugginsmath.com

 

On the Barton Reading website, in the student section, there is a student screening that can help you identify whether your son is ready for phonics. Depending on which sections of the screening he passes or not, there are recommendations for other resources. For ex. if his phonemic awareness is weak, the recommendation is LiPS (Lindamood Bell Phonemic Sequencing). Susan Barton (the owner of Barton Reading) recommends doing LiPS using a trained tutor, but you can buy the kit and use it at home. Many of us here have done that.

 

Incorporating movement into your schoolwork often helps. For ex, practicing math or spelling while doing jumping jacks or tossing a ball back and forth, doing wall push-ups between assignments. You can put an exercise band around the chair your ds sits in so that when he swings his legs, he gets feedback. If handwriting is difficult, a slant board may help. I bought ours from http://www.therapyshoppe.com after my dd's OT observed that using a slant board removed 80% of the labor from handwriting for her. Writing on a portable white board instead of paper also helps.

 

Most of all, be patient and take one step at a time. I have 2 kids with dyslexia, and although they start out slow, they do eventually catch up and excel. One of my dyslexic dds started out in ps, and suffice it to say, that's why we homeschool. It was an awful experience.

Edited August 29, 2011 by LizzyBee

[wapiti]

There is no need to feel like a failure, and no reason to think the PS can do any better. A student who otherwise seems very bright but struggles in school - that's a huge red flag for LDs of one type or another. I'd be thinking about the possiblities of dyslexia and/or vision problems (for which you'd get an evaluation from a developmental optometrist, as the PPs mentioned).

 

I'd get the vision checked, teach using curricula for dyslexics, and set up an evaluation for LDs, preferrably with someone experienced at testing twice-exceptional kids (or "2E"; bright kids with learning issues).

[llindseymomoffour]

But when it comes to school, he can't do it.

 

My 7 year old is the same way, except it isn't that he can't do it, he doesn't want to do it. When I mention school he shuts down. He sees it as boring, something taking away from everything else he wants to be doing. So we still sit down and do school work but I will also ask questions throughout the day away from the school setting to engage him and make sure he absorbed what we went over that day. (Ex. We studied Common Nouns and Proper Nouns the other day. Later in the car I would say random places, things, and people and ask if it is a common or proper noun.) I do the same with math, etc. He has been such a struggle for me since his older brother is a great learner and loves school. I've just learned that it isn't that he can't learn, he just will do it on his own time.

 

Also, I do not believe public school is the option. I started homeschooling because of my 7 year old and how he struggled in school. He shut down even more at school and I was constantly in communication with the teacher and principal about how he "isn't performing up to the rest of the classes level". Good luck, I'm sure you will find the right mix of learning tools to help him succeed.

[abbeyej]

You know, my mom used to say of her own homeschooled kids... "I was a *great* teacher when I had my first two kids. ... And then I found out I was an *awful* teacher with my third!" ... Obviously that's nonsense. ;) Mom was/is a good teacher. But she had two kids for whom academics came quite easily. ... And then along came my sister.

 

And my sister *is* very "quick". She's not slow or stupid or lazy. But those are all the words she picked to explain to herself why school was *so* hard for her. :(

 

But one can be *smart* (even very, very smart) and still have specific learning disabilities. I wish hers had been identified between the ages of 7 and 9 rather than once she was in high school.

[Rikki06]

I just wanted to chime in, too! You are not a failure!! I pulled my 7yo twins out this year because of my son's issues in reading/math. He was getting to be so down about himself and his ability and got tired of trying (at 7!!). He did need some vision therapy but now that's done and we've started the school year with a completely different attitude. It's not all sunshine and bubbles every day but he's actually willing and proud of what progress he does make. I have no answers but we're just taking it baby steps...

[blessedmom3]

I had amazing results with my 7yo LD dc with these programs. He started to read with no difficulty at 4 1/2 and now he is reading at about 4th gr level but he still needs work on comprehension.School did not work for him .

What has worked for us:

 

For pre-K-K reading : Adventures in Phonics A with their readers + Phonics Pathways

1st gr (past year) Pathways Readers -these are great for fluency,comprehension & Spelling

 

Math for pre-k-K Rightstart

1st gr. CLE&Singapore with a lot of manips , including RS Abacus , Base Ten Blocks

 

Also, these books helped me understand better. Highly rec.

The Mislabeled Child

See it Say it Do it

 

http://www.amazon.com/Teachers-Creating-Successful-Students-Confident/dp/0984177906/ref=sr_1_12?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314649577&sr=1-12

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

My 7yo son is having the hardest time! We repeated kindergarten last year, and now he's in 1st grade. We are on ETC 1-1/2 and each page is a struggle. Three letter, short vowel words are hard for him. He knows all his letter sounds and can say blends quickly, (ba, de, ti, etc). But when it comes to three letters, he can barely read them!

 

Math is another problem. We did Right Start and he progressed slowly. This year we switched to CLE Light Units for 1st grade. And he is now struggling with that. I guess I need to switch back to RS.

 

I don't know what to do! He is so smart and quick, just like a normal kid. He is not slow in the least bit. No delays at all. But when it comes to school, he can't do it.

 

I am so tempted to put him in public school so that they can get him reading and doing math. I feel like a failure right now.

 

 

I could have written this post. My son is 6, going to be 7 in Oct. He struggles so bad with reading and math. We are doing a combination of ETC 1 and 1 1/2. We are doing AAS 1, Phonics Pathways and we are only on page 44. His brother in K is FAST catching up to him. His 2 older sisters had no problems with anything. I actually took my son in for testing and found a few things out but I still struggle with the though of putting him in PS to help get him reading and doing math. Then the reality of our 1on1 hits. They can't do any more than I can. Even in resource room he would get the same 1on1 I am giving him. He does go to O.T (he was found to have HFA, but is very high functioning, sensory processing/integration disorders) I actually have an app with an eye dr tomorrow (finally, takes forever to get into there) to see if maybe its a vision issue. My son will rub his eyes alot when reading or doing math. Then he loses focus. Have you had his eyes checked? Maybe its a vision problem. My son does not blend 2 letters easy though. That is also a struggle with him. And forget the numbers 11 and 12. They are always 20 :glare: Its hard, and frustrating. Just keep plugging away. I am now off to read other replies. Maybe somebody has some tidbit of info that can help us also!

 

I can not tell you how many time I lay in bed in tears feeling like I am failing my son. He is still in Horizons K math book 1. He is a 1st grader struggling with Horizons Kindergarten math book 1- haven't even gotten to Kindergarten Math book 2!!!!

Edited August 29, 2011 by wy_kid_wrangler04

[Joyofsixreboot]

Have you considered having his eyes checked by a developmental opthamologist? He might have trouble with vision which causes him to struggle with schoolwork.

 

:iagree: my obviously bright son struggled for years. Four months of vision therapy have probably done more than 4 years of schooling.

[redsquirrel]

I think it is time to bring in outside help. You are both going to burn out at this rate.

 

He needs a good screening for LDs and eye issues. If that is the answer and you get better information as to how to help him it will make a world of difference.

 

You will still both have to work hard but you will be going about it the right way.