S/O what won't you do...co-ops

[rieshy]

I'll add one new reason- that those of us with medically fragile kids deal with: My kindergartner has a metabolic disorder that requires close (day-long) monitoring. He's not a candidate for me sending off to a bunch of different teachers. Not to mention, if he picked up a stomach bug it would mean yet another week long stay in the hospital.

 

But really- it's the (non-academic) drain on my time that keeps me from even day dreaming about a co-op. My teenagers do some tutorial classes but our local tutorial will allow them to take just one class a year, if that's all we want.

[Hedgehogs4]

I would never do a co-op in the conventional sense because I dislike teaching other people's children and don't want to have to contribute to an organization that may not be a perfect fit. I feel that unless a co-op directly and absolutely supports the things we have chosen to study in our regular curriculum, it becomes another "thing" to do. Social interaction and time with other kids, an art elective, etc. is not enough reason to join a co-op.

 

That said, some friends and I are forming our own "co-op" of sorts, but it is different. We all have the same curriculum, the same goals and want positive friendships and opportunity for group learning experiences. It really does not fit my definition or perception of what is normally being called "co-op." Rather, it's just a bunch of friends getting together once a week.

Edited August 23, 2011 by Hedgehogs4

[Beth in TN]

For me, it boils down to money, time, and freedom. I cherish those three things too much to get tied down to a co-op.

 

This is exactly what I have learned over many years trying to participate in co-ops and even have a science group meet at my house weekly. No matter what I did it took away from my dd and my family. No more!

[hollyandab]

Because you often don't see the same people twice....well, at least not on a regular basis. We have done co-ops, we have done groups that are based on "let's meet at the park every Wednesday from 1p-3p", and we have done groups based on "let's meet at the park whenever someone feels like setting up a park day".

 

Park groups, both the regular one and the sporadic ones, while fun, never seemed to produce great friendships for my children. Because families are not invested in them as much as they are in co-op. In a co-op, first, many families have paid $$ to be there, and secondly, most parents have some sort of obligation, ie teacher, assistant, helping in another way..so you know those people will be there.every.single.week. When we did park-day groups, my child might meet a great child, they hit it off, they play at the park, they invite each other over to spend the night (literally, my son invites over everyone for a sleep over..it isn't happening because you just met the kid!!), and then they don't see each other again, because we don't make it to the same park day as they do for another two months or so. Families say they are coming, then they get sick or whatever the reason, half of who said was coming, doesn't come. There isn't a huge COMMITMENT for park days...it is more like "if it fits into our schedule, we will come, but if something better comes along, we may or may not be there" Sure, I could have taken the initiative to invite the child over for a play date...but let's get real. First, jiving our HSing life schedule with another HS'ers life schedule is nearly impossible. Most of us run in 10 directions at any given time. Second, I am introverted, I guess, and don't necessarily WANT to make that much effort for play dates, especially if it means having the mother over too (sorry, not personal to other moms, it's just me, really not you!).

 

All of those problems are solved by a co-op. We see the same families every single week. My children form true relationships with these children. Plus we will often seem them at co-op sponsored park days, or field trips,

so there is a good chance we will see them 1-2 days a week. Families are invested in making sure the co-op succeeds and so they put effort into it.

 

I've never had the horrible experiences that some of the others have posted about with co-ops. I could see why some would think co-ops are rotten apples. But there are plenty of good apples in the mix too.

 

Yes, I understand that problem (consistency of meeting same families). What I was specifically thinking (but didn't communicate very well) was calling up already known homeschooling families and getting together with them. In other words, call or email the night before or even that morning and try to get together for an hour or two...out to eat, the park, someone's house, movies... We have a lot of homeschoolers in our church, so my kids get to socialize with them at church and youth group. If we want more than Sun and Wed night socialization, then we simply call one or two families from our church and go somewhere together...even if it's just for the movies or lunch at McD's. I suppose if you weren't connected to homeschoolers at church or anywhere else, then you might have a more difficult time doing this. In that were our case (if we didn't know any homeschoolers), then, well, maybe I would feel differently about co-op. But as it is, I feel like my kiddos get enough friend time. Plus, they have a neighbor boy that is over ALL of the time, so they really don't need any more friend time. So that leaves me with the decision of whether or not to spend money on classes that are taught by one of the other moms and take an afternoon every week out of our school time. To me, it's just not worth it. But that's me. And I would REALLY hate having to teach every week. That just sounds draining. I also have a lot of animals to take care of plus a side biz that's taking up more and more time, so I am not keen on making any outside commitments. I like my freedom! But certainly, I know a lot of my friends really value the co-op time. It's just not for us! We really need flexibility. I have zero outside commitments during my week, and I like it that way. :D I even teach my kids their piano lessons (had lessons for 12 yrs myself), so I don't have to schedule music lessons. Woo-hoo!!

[Annabel Lee]

My ds10 keeps bringing up the topic of wishing he had more friends, wishing he saw friends more often, etc. He's expressing loneliness; he's happy when he's social and we have not been. So, out of compassion for his need for time with good friends, I agreed to a "co-op" of sorts that consists of only 2 other moms and I, with a total of 4 children. We're taking turns rotating who teaches each week for a 4-hour block of time on Thursdays (includes lunch and then time to play afterwards). They'll be getting topics the other Thursdays that we're not really covering much in our homeschool currently, so it's not all bad, but it's certainly not academically rigorous by any means. One mom is a hs newbie, teaching US History and states/capitals. The other is a long-time veteran who I just found out holds more closely to the "better late than early" philosophy, and will be doing art, music, and/or home ec. on her days. The latter mom's dd & mine are BFFs, and from that stemmed a friendship in our sons more recently. They get along famously.

 

This is more about fostering friendship and allowing some enjoyment in their lives than academics, but I hate it that it will push "real school" to another time (it won't simply be cancelled) on those days. Also, my boys are already part of a Lego Robotics Club meeting on a weekday afternoon... another time I don't prefer. While they enjoy it and do have some good friends there, it is made mostly unenjoyable by one very bad apple. They haven't had a chance just to mingle with the other kids, and have had to struggle for an opportunity to learn in that setting. It was a considerable commitment to join that group, and they say they'd like to try to work it out.

 

On the days that I teach science to the little Thursdays group, I'll be doing our regular WTM science. I'm not sure I'll be able to get the other kids to outline or write their narrations, or maybe even think about science very critically, and something that just occured to me today is how do I enforce those as mandatory for my boys when I can't for the others?

 

Would you have even done any of this? Even if you had been wondering about childhood depression in one of your dc due to loneliness?

 

ETA: This seemed on-topic, but let me know if I should just start a new thread for this instead.

Edited August 24, 2011 by Annabel Lee

[8filltheheart]

My ds10 keeps bringing up the topic of wishing he had more friends, wishing he saw friends more often, etc. He's expressing loneliness; he's happy when he's social and we have not been. So, out of compassion for his need for time with good friends, I agreed to a "co-op" of sorts that consists of only 2 other moms and I, with a total of 4 children. We're taking turns rotating who teaches each week for a 4-hour block of time on Thursdays (includes lunch and then time to play afterwards). They'll be getting topics the other Thursdays that we're not really covering much in our homeschool currently, so it's not all bad, but it's certainly not academically rigorous by any means. One mom is a hs newbie, teaching US History and states/capitals. The other is a long-time veteran who I just found out holds more closely to the "better late than early" philosophy, and will be doing art, music, and/or home ec. on her days. The latter mom's dd & mine are BFFs, and from that stemmed a friendship in our sons more recently. They get along famously.

 

This is more about fostering friendship and allowing some enjoyment in their lives than academics, but I hate it that it will push "real school" to another time (it won't simply be cancelled) on those days. Also, my boys are already part of a Lego Robotics Club meeting on a weekday afternoon... another time I don't prefer. While they enjoy it and do have some good friends there, it is made mostly unenjoyable by one very bad apple. They haven't had a chance just to mingle with the other kids, and have had to struggle for an opportunity to learn in that setting. It was a considerable commitment to join that group, and they say they'd like to try to work it out.

 

On the days that I teach science to the little Thursdays group, I'll be doing our regular WTM science. I'm not sure I'll be able to get the other kids to outline or write their narrations, or maybe even think about science very critically, and something that just occured to me today is how do I enforce those as mandatory for my boys when I can't for the others?

 

Would you have even done any of this? Even if you had been wondering about childhood depression in one of your dc due to loneliness?

 

ETA: This seemed on-topic, but let me know if I should just start a new thread for this instead.

 

My simple answer is no, I wouldn't. I'm not sure why you have to get together to do anything academic-oriented. It seems contrived and forced. I would change it to meeting later in the day and simply meet for snacks and playing. That way your school day isn't impacted; you don't have to take time to plan random science classes; adult friendships aren't impacted negatively b/c of different homeschooling philosophies; the kids get to get together for pure fun.

[johnandtinagilbert]

when you have a large number of families, there is no such thing as like-minded. Christian means so many things.

 

Too much work for me to insure quality (just keepin' it real), with low return for effort. I used to spend about 7 hours per class for my science co-op I taught. I spend that planning about 5 weeks of school for my entire family.

 

No time for such once jr. high comes....we need the time at home

 

high school brings other outsourced activities.

 

I'm compelled to leadership wherever I go and I have no place on my plate for anything more.

 

bad behavior sticks like glue, so often times, I spend a day or two undoing the behaviors that stuck.

 

That's the "top of my head" list.

[TheAutumnOak]

I have lots of reasons. I'll try to give the Reader's Digest Condensed version.

 

1- I homeschool b/c I want to control my kids' education. I am not willing to let go of that control. I want to use what I want to use and how I want to use it and be actively involved in teaching my kids w/what I have chosen.

 

2- I hate interruptions in our school day.

 

3- I don't like teaching other people's children b/c of #4.

 

4- I have only ever met a very few people who have the same educational views/standards that I do.

 

5- The few times I attempted a co-op it ended up being a waste of my time b/c of #4.

 

6- This is a biggie.......I think co-ops have changed the face of homeschooling. Parents are more easily convinced that they aren't "qualified" to teach something so their children are better served by someone who is. That bothers me on multiple levels, but mostly b/c it is the argument that has been used against legalizing homeschooling since before I started homeschooling.

 

7- And ironically, most of the teachers in co-ops are not professionals but are simply teaching a course that they have been asked to.

 

:iagree:

These are pretty much my feelings with the exception of #5 because I have never tried a co op...I agree that co ops have changed the face of homeschooling...

 

I must also add that I do not think my standards would be considered high (#4), just different...I am working with my boys where they are...

[Tarreymere]

I know my kids and where they are and what they need academically. Why would I send them into a group situation where the teacher doesn't know those things about my kids? Isn't that why I am homeschooling in the first place, so that my kids can get an individualized education?

 

I also live in a neighborhood with other kids where they all get together informally and play, and my kids are involved in sports and other activities, so I am confident that their social needs are being met. Sure, they complain sometimes that they wish they had more friends or different friends, or better friends, but I tell them to be grateful for the friends that they do have.

 

So if I have it covered academically and socially, why would I want to waste time jumping through hoops with a co-op, particularly when it seems that the only ones around me are Christian and insist on a SOF, which we won't sign.

[shanvan]

I know my kids and where they are and what they need academically. Why would I send them into a group situation where the teacher doesn't know those things about my kids? Isn't that why I am homeschooling in the first place, so that my kids can get an individualized education?

 

I also live in a neighborhood with other kids where they all get together informally and play, and my kids are involved in sports and other activities, so I am confident that their social needs are being met. Sure, they complain sometimes that they wish they had more friends or different friends, or better friends, but I tell them to be grateful for the friends that they do have.

 

So if I have it covered academically and socially, why would I want to waste time jumping through hoops with a co-op, particularly when it seems that the only ones around me are Christian and insist on a SOF, which we won't sign.

 

I also commented in this thread that we have two 4H clubs and riding lessons where our Dc can be social. My own comment and others in this thread got me thinking.

 

I don't want to imply that a certain amount of socialization must be sought after. I mean, that's just buying into the fears of all those people who ask the dreaded "What about socialization?" question. And sometimes (note I wrote sometimes) I see especially new homeschooling families running out to sign up for co-ops, homeschool sports and every activity they can find just so they can prove their kids get socialization. I am not saying this is the case for every family involved in co-ops (and some kids --and adults are more social than others), but I do think we need to be careful that we aren't operating with the underlying assumption that a special effort must be made or else the poor homeschooled kids won't be properly socialized.

 

Families are capable of socializing children even w/o outside activities. If you can learn to get along with your family members, you can get along with most of the people you will encounter in society. (We're still working on the getting along at home stuff--every. single. day. :D)

 

Shannon

[MeganW]

And sometimes (note I wrote sometimes) I see especially new homeschooling families running out to sign up for co-ops, homeschool sports and every activity they can find just so they can prove their kids get socialization. I am not saying this is the case for every family involved in co-ops (and some kids --and adults are more social than others), but I do think we need to be careful that we aren't operating with the underlying assumption that a special effort must be made or else the poor homeschooled kids won't be properly socialized.

 

Shannon

 

Hee hee, that's totally me! I have my kids in some activity every single day. Church choir, fine arts co-op, soccer, Classical Conversations, dance, gymnastics, and swimming. Hopefully I'll be confident enough in another year to let some things go, because I am going crazy keeping all this up! :)

[shanvan]

Hee hee, that's totally me! I have my kids in some activity every single day. Church choir, fine arts co-op, soccer, Classical Conversations, dance, gymnastics, and swimming. Hopefully I'll be confident enough in another year to let some things go, because I am going crazy keeping all this up! :)

 

Well, I did let a lot of things go, but the trouble is, new things seem to creep in and take their place. We aren't necessarily signed up for an organized activity every day, but sometimes we end up being out of the house every day of the week anyway. I just seem to have trouble turning down things I see as an 'opportunity'. Maybe you'll be better at scheduling than I am. I am going crazy with our schedule right now too!

 

Shannon