Repeating a Grade

[scrapbookbuzz]

We've decided to do another year of 4th grade with our daughter. Besides being on the young end of her peer group (she's an August baby), our fall semester was extremely interrupted with travel to visit a dying family member, two moves, and two different schools! Due to this and my own battlefield of the mind, she's about 1/2 a year behind, thus our decision.

 

I was just wondering if any of you have held a child back a year?

 

Thanks for any experienced input!

[chiguirre]

No, but I'm pondering how to do this with my ds. He's on target academically, but his social skills are poor and he's more comfortable around kids who are a year or two younger. I'm not sure when we'll do his bonus year but I'm thinking it would be best to add in a pre-middle school year or a pre-highschool year. I do try to sign him up for classes where he will be the oldest child and that's always worked out well.

[beansprouts]

I wouldn't call it "holding back a year" it sounds so negative. When the schools hold children back it is because they failed to accomplish the objectives of the previous year. There is a real social stigma surrounding it, and the child usually gets the message that he has "failed" and thinks himself stupid.

 

I have been known to contimue unfinished work into the next year, with plans of "catching up". I do this very casually and don't make a big deal of it. My child's "grade" only matters when she is in activities with other children, and I usually use whatever is appropriate for her age. Academically, we generally work at different grade levels for different subjects anyways.

 

Would it be possible to school through the summer to keep your child on track?

[Kay in Cal]

:iagree: Grade is an arbitrary term to begin with. I would just keep on going at whatever level she is at and not worry about grade. Kids in ps aren't all at the same "level", but they are in the same grade. It sounds like she made concerted effort, it was just a tough year situationally... holding back should only be for dire circumstances, IMHO.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Well...

 

1) I agree it's arbitrary in homeschooling

2) I agree that in PS it can be quite negative

3) I agree that you'd do fine just doing whatever level she needs regardless of what it's called

4) yes, we held back a child, "officially".....twice (once at the suggestion of the ps he went to 8 weeks).

 

I don't think it has to be a bad thing for homeschoolers if you DO use grades. I think kids understand. I think there isn't as much stigma either, especially if it won't effect other things like groups they are in and such.

 

Now, in our case? That child was put in a public virtual school in late October this year and they forced us to put him at grade level (I was willing to go up ONE grade, but was scared of knocking him up two). He has made excellent grades, even doing excellent on testing, work samples (including writing), etc.

 

Basically, I say do whatever you want and it'll work out :)

[Chris in VA]

We held ds back when he was in 3rd grade (Montessori school). Now, at 18, he is a junior in high school, homeschooled since 9th grade. We are going to let him graduate a semester early, and take what would have been his final semester at a CC. That way, he can take 5 CC classes (15-18 credits) instead of the two allowed thru dual enrollment. He'll still transfer as a Freshman.

 

He has been distressed as he sees those younger than him go on to school.

OOps, time expired at library! i'll write more later

[Melora in NC]

I am considering doing this with my ds. He is at the end of his fourth grade year, and will be 10 years old in July. I am at a loss on how to motivate him to take Some responsibility for his work, and I am wondering whether having to repeat a year (though this is really a somewhat meaningless thing, as we would mostly just keep "doing the next thing" in his studies) might convince him that effort is required to advance. Academically he is on track in most subjects, but he is extremely immature. I have to stay on top of him every minute in most subjects or he day dreams and does nothing. He refuses to proof read his writing or make corrections unless I sit with him and point out every. single. mistake. It seems to me that a fifth grader should be able to compose a one paragraph narration without collapsing on the floor in despair, or finish a page of math without my constantly reminding him to stay on task.

 

If we have another year of fourth grade, it will be to give him time to mature. I would keep going with most subjects, though I might spend a year doing IEW instead of going to CW Homer when we finish Writing Tales II next fall.

 

I hope that others will post here, as I am not at all sure what to do with my ds. I don't want to discourage him, but I don't know how to get through to him that his effort Is required. He does have some ps friends, and he is aware of what "grade" he is in. At first he was upset when I told him that I might have to hold him back if he didn't start trying harder, but then he thought maybe he would get the summer off (we school year round) and have a really easy year next year if he was repeating fourth grade, and he now seems undisturbed by the idea of "failing." He just is so indifferent to learning that I don't know what will help.

[Kay in Cal]

Both my dh and my oldest ds have been diagnosed with ADHD, and this sounds like typical behavior. If he is on track academically, I don't think that holding him back a year is the right thing.

 

Kids (and adults) with ADHD require coaching to learn organizational and focus skills. Punishment, or even maturity, is not necessarily going to change that.

[beansprouts]

I am considering doing this with my ds. He is at the end of his fourth grade year, and will be 10 years old in July. I am at a loss on how to motivate him to take Some responsibility for his work, and I am wondering whether having to repeat a year (though this is really a somewhat meaningless thing, as we would mostly just keep "doing the next thing" in his studies) might convince him that effort is required to advance. Academically he is on track in most subjects, but he is extremely immature. I have to stay on top of him every minute in most subjects or he day dreams and does nothing. He refuses to proof read his writing or make corrections unless I sit with him and point out every. single. mistake. It seems to me that a fifth grader should be able to compose a one paragraph narration without collapsing on the floor in despair, or finish a page of math without my constantly reminding him to stay on task.

 

 

That sounds like my daughter who is finishing 4th grade this year. She is a year younger than most children at her grade level, so I expect some immaturity. I have been grateful that as a homeschooler I can meet her abilities at an academic level (she is very bright) and still make adjustments for her age. It is not like institutional schooling where academics are closely tied with social maturity. We have much more freedom at home. I do plan to let her progress with her studies and will continue to accomodate her while encouraging more responsibility. It will happen. I am not worried :001_smile:

[Plucky]

Yep. I was considering holding my 4th grader back a year but he was just diagnosed with ADHD. Now that he is able to focus and accomplish work we will continue on to 5th grade. Your child may not have any issues but if you are considering holding the child back you may want to get your kiddo checked out for learning challenges. Knowing what the problem is can sometimes go a long way to finding out how to help them.

 

Never mind. I see that you don't have my problem. :)

 

I'd just keep on working where you are at and not worry.