Forget The Diagnosis ...

[blessedmom3]

I came across this and wanted to share :)

Inspiring !

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Autism! Pdd nos! Aspergers syndrome! ADHD! High functioning! Low functioning! Delayed! Hearing these words about your child can be crushing. They can devastate you to your very core. The good news is THEY DON’T HAVE TO! Let me tell you why….

 

It doesn’t matter. That’s right. It simply doesn’t matter. If you want to really help your child then read on. I’m serious. Don’t be like the thousands who wish they had “lived†this concept sooner.

 

Pretend for a moment you have a newborn. He is simply perfect. By the time he is two years old, his fingers are so long, they look strange. You go to a renowned physician and ask “What’s wrong with my child? Why are his fingers so long?â€. The physician smiles and says “Your child has a condition called spindle fingers. He has a natural gift for playing musical instruments. Many dream of having this talentâ€.

 

You’re absolutely thrilled and can’t wait to share the news. You rush home but on the way you stop to buy a toy xylophone, piano, drum set and flute. You set them out on the floor when you get home and you watch proudly as your toddler strums each one of them. You don’t care that everyone else thinks it just sounds like noise. You have a budding musician on your hands and he’s practicing!

 

As the months go by you encourage your child to play instruments. He gets a little older and expresses his preference for the piano. You take him to piano lessons, listen to famous piano players and perhaps even go to concerts. You explain to your son that his fingers are long because he is talented at playing the piano. Your son plays the piano beautifully. He is proud of his fingers and his talent. You are proud of your son.

 

You run into the physician a few years later. You tell him proudly about your child’s piano skills. He smiles broadly and says “I made it all up. There is no condition called spindle fingersâ€. “What?†you shriek “that’s impossible. My child is an excellent playerâ€.

 

“Of course he is†says the physician “It’s called belief. You believed in your child’s fingers. You believed in his talent. You encouraged him. It didn’t matter how many mistakes he made. You hardly heard them because you knew he was on the path to greatness. Your son felt your belief. He saw it in your eyes. He felt it course through his being. It inspired him. Every time he looked at his long fingers he thought about his talent. He felt proud of himself. He knew he could do it. Your unwavering faith inspired him to be the best he can beâ€.

 

My advice to you is this. Forget about the boxes and the labels. Ignore the judgments. Your child is fascinating. Your child is a unique and wonderful being who is incredibly special. Give him the tools. Encourage him on his journey. Never lose faith in him. Stand by his side. Teach him as much as you can. Watch in delight as he soars far beyond everyone’s expectations. Everyone’s except yours and all those who joined your belief along the way!

 

- By Jene Aviram

[Julie of KY]

:iagree:

[Pam H]

Love this!!

[SailorMom]

:D

[SweetMissMagnolia]

:grouphug: :iagree:

[Rebecca M]

Thanks for sharing - this is wonderful!

[Guest momk2000]

I both agree and disagree with this. I despise labels, but in some instances putting a name to the "differences" can help the child #1 to understand him/herself better, #2 to be better understood by others, and #3 to gain eligibility to access any treatments/therapies that may be beneficial to them.

Although, as I mentioned previously, I despise labels of any kind, Our daughter's dx of PDD-NOS helped me to understand her so much better. It's like I put on a new pair of glasses and can see her much more clearly now. It is helping her to understand herself better, to deal with daily challenges and appreciate her many wonderful gifts. She also receives the services, counseling and medication she needs.

[....]

I really needed some encouragement this morning. :001_smile: A lot of excessive worrying here...thanks for posting this.

[dsmama]

Since my son's situation is chromosomal, I actually don't mind the medical term (trisomy 21), but I really dislike the term Down syndrome, since the person whose name is attached (Dr. Down) called people "mongoloid" and "idiots" at the time.

 

But I love the idea of just forgetting. It is a great thing to do -- just focus on your kid!

 

Reminds me of something I read recently about an older man who has T21 but who said, "I used to have Down syndrome."

http://skiingthroughlife.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/i-used-to-have-down-syndrome/

[moriah]

personally, everyone said my son had ADD. My son was running all over including out the door and down the street. I bought every toy I could find. He had no interest. Other moms well meaning "suggestions" and judgement (he is out of control because I wasn't being a good parent) and I felt more helpless than I have ever felt in my life. I watched my son day in and day out sit and cry the most heart wrenching sobs that you have ever heard, like he was absolutely miserable and unhappy. I cried too. I had no idea how to connect with him. When we took him in and had him evaluated, it was autism not ADD. He would not have had the verbal help as early as he did had I not done that. Today he is almost 11 and has friends, he uses his interest in characters by acting in plays and is about to start his 4th play in which he sings and has speaking parts. Its true that we certainly can't let labels limit our children and God knows that there are tons of people that when they hear a label about a kid that they do not have the time of day for that child, but personally, I thank God that I found out what I was dealing with. We still sometimes get the parents who parent upwardly mobile "stars" that have no time for a child like mine, who is the truest blue friend a kid could ever have, but that would happen regardless of the "label" or not. At least he has his family that will never leave him nor foresake him. That label helped it happen. Just my opinion.

[Lisabeth]

I'm awaiting a diagnosis right now and I would like it because I have been beating my head against the wall for the past 3 years. I want to know how to help him but I don't know what to try next.

 

BUT I agree with the article saying to look for the strengths and look for the positives. I often forget that so it was a breath of fresh air this morning. I WILL try to focus on his positives and encourage those. I'm repeating this because I needed a pep talk when all my days are discouraging!

[asta]

Information does not have to equal a label.

 

I would love it if someone could tell me the difference here:

 

A parent armed with information on how to help their child become the best person they can be

 

vs

 

A parent armed with information on how to help their child become the best person they can be who is in receipt of a NAME for said information

 

 

I'm personally labeled 9 ways to Sunday. I've heard all of the arguments. I understand the reasoning of some people (some services are actually provided by states, some are covered by insurers). Yet. Not all kids (or adults for that matter) who have a label slapped on their forehead are even in the realm of *needing* professional services; they would do just as well were their parent to read a book and apply the same principles.

 

Personally, I find it sad that our society is as quick to label as it is. I don't think people realize just how many doors are closed to kids once they grow up because of a label that was placed on them (perhaps unnecessarily) as a child.

 

JMO

 

 

asta

 

(great article, OP)