CarolfromIL Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 I was just wondering if anyone has confirmed their child themselves versus going through the church program. Although we are active members, I do hesitate letting others teach my child, and not being allowed in the room to supervise. I was going to suggest to our Pastor that I be allowed to do the teaching myself as part of our home school curriculum and then he or the session could quiz my son at the end of the year so he could join the other kids for the ceremony, Anyone gone down this route. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Can't in our church--the Bishop has to do it. May I ask your denom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 Yes Lutheran Missouri Synod.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 LC-MS here, also, and that would never fly in our congregation (my six and eight year olds just finished their first year of catechesis). I really suppose it depends on your individual church and pastor, but I think that corporate learning is an important part of the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 LC-MS here, too. We are about to confirm our 2nd child. We followed up on every single confirmation lesson and screened out some of the activities. Honestly, I don't think 7th graders should be watching "The Passion" movie even if it is about Jesus! We've been teaching our children about Jesus all along and I don't think that my kids felt like someone else was taking over since they discussed every lesson with us. You could ask for a schedule and discuss the topic of the week at home. I'll say that my kids were BORED SILLY in confirmation and were appalled at the ps kids in the class. None of the ps kids would answer a question and they all acted like memorizing a verse was akin to death by firing squad. Both kid have been thrilled to see confirmation end---and we have a wonderful pastor! Confirmation was very remedial for our kids (thanks to Awana and our home studies). But, it does tie into the teen social life of the church. IMHO, pulling them from confirmation would make if awkward for them when the teens so servant events or church activities. Our confirmation program required the kids to attend committee meetings, go to choir rehearsals, and attend youth fun nights and Bible Studies. Not being in the classroom part of confirmation would have made those activities more awkward, and my kids feel awkward enough at church because the ps teen antics (and, yes, I know that not all ps kids are this way, but many are!) Why are you wanted to confirm at home? Have you talked to your pastor about this? I personally don't think ours would object. He does private confirmations for adults or youth who move into the district and have missed confirmation at a previous congregation. He privately confirms kids who are slower learners, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tressa Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 We are ELS. My daughter just had her confirmation today actually. It wouldn't fly at my church either, but I wouldn't have any reason to do it at home. My daugther loved her classes. Does your church have a school? My pastor actually wanted her to take the classes with the school kids because it was more in depth than the public school classes. We didn't, but it was an option for us. I do think that going to the confirmation classes helped my daughter bond with some of the other kids. Even though I probably "could" have taught my daughter at home, I think it was really good that she was instructed by my pastor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I'm LCMS myself, and I know how important confirmation is. I'm sorry that you're not happy with your church's confirmation program. Our pastor is superb at teaching confirmation, and relates very well with the kids. I know that we were blessed in this regard, and I'm very grateful. He's very solid theologically, and very clear in his teaching. I had no question about the value of his educational approach, which made it easy for me to want to do it. Having said that, in our church we were not excluded from the class. We were allowed to attend if we were quiet. I never did, but the fact that I COULD made all the difference. Also, they had a kickoff parent meeting at the beginning of each year, and one or two parent invitation events during the year. The classes were on Wednesdays, so the kids set up the gym for the soup suppers during Lent and Advent. So during those seasons they went to class and then we attended soup supper and church together for several weeks. That worked out really well. I know that there is quite a bit of variation in the Synod as to how this kind of thing is handled. I don't think that our pastor would confirm someone he had not taught personally. It doesn't hurt to make the request. DD was, in fact, bored in class at times, and she almost always won the Bible games and such, but she was also engaged most of the time, she formed a deep personal connection with our pastor which I think is valuable going forward, and she got another version of our theology which amplified what I've been teaching her at home all these years. It's all good. I encourage you to consider whether there might be some benefits to your daughter that outweigh some boredom before you decide what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 We're also LCMS. Could you sit in on her classes? Let us know what your pastor says and what you end up doing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 LC-MS here, too. We are about to confirm our 2nd child. We followed up on every single confirmation lesson and screened out some of the activities. Honestly, I don't think 7th graders should be watching "The Passion" movie even if it is about Jesus! Wow, they made the kids watch the Passion movie? That would have fried me. I would have not just objected for my own, but for all of them. OTOH, the Luther movies are fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 It is an interesting discussion . . . I will be talking to our Pastors re my son with autism. There is no way he will fit in with the upcoming class. I have a curriculum I purchased for him from the Wisconsin Synod that is geared for those with special needs. When we feel he is ready I hope to have him confirmed privately and then our family would go out to dinner. I would (and will if necessary) make the argument that Luther wrote the catechism so parents could teach their children at home. Very pro homeschool choice in my opinion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Oh duh! I've been reading the OP's question as if she wants the confirmation done at home, not the confirmation classes. Big difference. My hubby will do classes privately in certain cases. But the Bishop has to do the confirmation sacrament--hope I'm clear now. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 DH did private confirmation classes with both of our dds. For our oldest dd, we met with the pastor of the church we were attending. It was no problem with him, but she was required to participate in the questioning and answer in front of the congregation. She then was confirmed on the Sunday morning with the other kids that the pastor had taught. My dh did private confirmation classes with our youngest dd because he refused to have the pastor teach our dd (different church and pastor). She was confirmed by my dh in a sunday morning church service with the pastor reading the lessons and another retired pastor doing the sermon. I will say both dds did more in confirmation with their dad then anything that they were doing in the classes, as our dds repeatly pointed out to dh:001_smile: We too, are LCMS and my dh is an ordained LCMS pastor who currently is a Navy chaplain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Wow, they made the kids watch the Passion movie? That would have fried me. I would have not just objected for my own, but for all of them. OTOH, the Luther movies are fine. Yep, but this is the same DCE who wanted my dd to say things like "He held me down and wouldn't stop" about date rape during a Sunday worship service. I don't think that she is typical of DCEs except she is YOUNG and inexperienced! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Yep, but this is the same DCE who wanted my dd to say things like "He held me down and wouldn't stop" about date rape during a Sunday worship service. I don't think that she is typical of DCEs except she is YOUNG and inexperienced! Carp. That is all. <end boggle> OK, that is not all. It's wrong. The DCE is doing actual damage. If someone did something like that in a church I attended, I would be strenuously objecting to the Pastor, elders, and Board of Education if I didn't have children. If I did have children, I'd find another church. The divine service needs to be safe and appropriate, all the time. There is plenty to talk about in church from the pericopes. The place to talk about date rape is in age-segregated classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I agree with Carol in Cal. I really *want* to say that isn't typical of DCEs, as that's what I was before children. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely surprised to hear that you've had such an experience--a lot of youth workers just don't seem to realize when they're crossing a line. The Luther movie is a much better option for youth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 I agree with Carol in Cal. I really *want* to say that isn't typical of DCEs, as that's what I was before children. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely surprised to hear that you've had such an experience--a lot of youth workers just don't seem to realize when they're crossing a line. The Luther movie is a much better option for youth! Oh, I'm so relieved. I try not to lose it like that in public but sheesh. We're talking about shocking inappropriateness here. All the DCE's I have met have been so fun and nice and sane. Sheesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 I'm so glad to hear your experience with DCEs has been positive! I think there's a prevalent idea right now that you have to do something shocking to be relevant and to get youth into church...and shocking can often cross over into inappropriate. Unfortunately, some of our LC-MS DCEs buy into that idea, because they're trying to mimic "successful" events at other churches. Maybe it would be more helpful to remember that Word and Sacrament is what draws people to the church, not the shock factor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 I'm so glad to hear your experience with DCEs has been positive! I think there's a prevalent idea right now that you have to do something shocking to be relevant and to get youth into church...and shocking can often cross over into inappropriate. Unfortunately, some of our LC-MS DCEs buy into that idea, because they're trying to mimic "successful" events at other churches. Maybe it would be more helpful to remember that Word and Sacrament is what draws people to the church, not the shock factor! :iagree::iagree::iagree: We've been walking a fine line with this DCE, understanding that we are all sinner and make mistakes. BUT, I certainly want to know every topic/conversation/event that my kids attend. I'm usually at the events, so I investigate more the Bible Studies. Yes, I think this DCE is trying to be popular and fun, and even shocking, to see hip. I must say that when we brought our concerns to her, she listened decently and did make the changes we requested. But, yes, she did show "The Passion" as did the DCE before her! Sigh!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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