How do you test for Dyslexia without damaging their self esteem?

[MyLittleBears]

My son is very sensitive and I know asking my pediatriciation why he is not reading well yet at almost 8 would hurt his feelings. Should I just use the dyslexic type reading programs without letting him know. I tend to lean towards this so that we can "fix" the problem without him knowing there is a problem in the first place. Any opinions? Experiences?

[RamonaQ]

For my son, having the label of dyslexic was very important because it gave him something to understand why he was struggling, and it wasn't his fault. We could talk about how smart ds and the dyslexia was just a small glitch in a sea of strengths (description from the Sally Shaywitz book). I am not saying it made him happy, and there was certainly grieving about how much more difficult some things are, but I know he felt relief. Now, because we have been open, ds is much more able to advocate for himself and not feel shame in situations when he needs to read aloud, like scouts or sunday school.

 

Likely your son is aware of his struggles and that may be a reason he is so sensitive. Personally, I encourage open communication with him. I am remembering we read a book as a family that I purchased that was written for kids with dyslexia to help them understand it.

[EKS]

A couple of ideas--

 

You could give the pediatrician a note. Or you could make a separate appointment to come in without your son. I have done both of these things and it has worked great every time. But I should add that pediatricians aren't necessarily extremely knowledgeable about learning problems.

 

Also, unless you're raising him in a bubble, sooner or later he's going to figure out that everyone else his age can read and he can't. Then he will likely label himself "stupid." Far better to find out what the problem is, IMHO and call it what it is. If he is dyslexic, a reading program for dyslexics is likely to help, but there are other conditions that cause reading problems--for example developmental vision problems--and the special reading program may not help if it is not dyslexia, and you will lose valuable time in the process.

 

Finally, if he does have dyslexia, you will most certainly never be able to completely fix the problem. Most dyslexics can learn to read (sometimes very well), but they experience lingering issues with writing and sometimes other things. So, again, knowing what is going on and calling it dyslexia rather than "stupid" is the better plan.

 

I'd recommend reading the book Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz to see if any of the symptoms she lists in there apply to your son. I'd also take a look at The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide.

 

I hope you find the answers you need.

[wapiti]

This doesn't completely answer your question, but unless you need a referral for insurance reasons, I would not bother with the ped at all. If you do need a referral from the ped, and you don't want your child to hear the details, I'd (a) call to see if you can do a consult over the phone, (b) have your child wait in the waiting room for a few minutes, or © write out a note with the details that the ped can read before entering the exam room, specifically mentioning your concern about him hearing. I don't think it's unusual for the ped to have communications with parents out of earshot of the kids.

 

In case you missed it, there's an interesting thread about testing for dyslexia at the bottom of the board.

 

When we did testing with an ed psych, we called her "the Learning Lady," who would be checking to see how well they're learning, just like a checkup to the doctor checks to see that they're healthy.

 

Good luck!!

[Myra]

Hi -

here's a series that I recommend that you read with your child -

 

 

Hank Zippzer Series by Henry Winkler.

 

It's about a boy named Hank who has learning difficulties - about his mother recognizing it, his friends, his difficulties at school, his own self-worth, and finally getting a diagnosis and help.

 

It's a fun series to read along with the underlying theme. I read it aloud to my two boys several years back and it opened a lot of interesting conversations between them and with me - about what was hard/easy at school work, how they feel about homeschooling, how they related to each other's strengths & weaknesses, etc.

 

Check it out!

 

Myra

[Dobela]

You need to do the testing. When I went to my pediatrician for a referral, I called ahead and asked for 2 rooms - one for my son and one for me before he visited with my son. That way I could share everything, have my crying breakdown, and discuss options without my son seeing me.

 

If you son is like every other child I know, dyslexia may be a welcome word. My guess he is already using words like 'stupid' to describe himself.

 

Have you looked at his vision? My son was diagnosed as dyslexic. When he failed the pretest for Barton, Ms. Barton said the areas he failed meant he would not learn to read with her program. As I was searching for some other route, someone here suggested the www.covd.org site. There you will find a list of Signs and Symptoms of vision problems. My son had pretty much every one of them. After finding a COVD clinic, my son began vision therapy. His eyes were not tracking, were not working together, he was not seeing in 3D, and some other issues. We began vision therapy and reading tutoring about the same time. We had found a well trained tutor that uses the Scottish Rite reading program for dyslexics. 18 months later he was reading and his vision issues resolved. About halfway thru the VT, the person who told me my son was dyslexic changed the diagnosis. He wasn't dyslexic and it was attributed all to vision.

 

My son is still working below the grade level of same aged peers but that is mostly because while he was with his tutor and receiving VT we only focused on the bare minimum academically. Now he is flying thru material and I hope to be caught up soon.

 

I say all of this to say, don't just go buy a program. If I had bought Barton without looking into other programs and having my son further evaluated, he would most likely not be reading today and I would be out several hundred dollars that was wasted on a program that was ineffective.

[Plink]

I called and asked for a phone appointment with my doctor's favorite nurse (intentionally scheduled when DD was on a playdate). The nurse listened, took notes, chatted with the doctor, and phoned back the next day with a referral to a neuro-psych/education-specialist that was a perfect fit for our family's situation.

[PeterPan]

Like the others, we've found the label a welcome breath of fresh air. Dd doesn't use it, but we talk about it, that there is a name for what's going on. And like the others, before we had dyslexia, the labels weren't so pretty (stupid, can't spell, hate this, etc.). But I don't think there's a need to discuss the term before he even has his own AWARENESS of his difficulties and problems, if that makes sense. We use the term as an explanation, not as a label, if that makes sense. I wouldn't feel compelled to talk with my dc about it until they started ASKING what was wrong and why they were struggling with such and such. At this stage in our lives, it even turns a bit, where the explanation helps motivates us and lets us know we're going to have to work a bit harder on some things, that that will just be normal for us and ok.

 

If you need to talk with the ped for a referral, I like the idea of doing it by phone. This might not even be the right label. You could get a neuropsych evaluation, but also a vision evaluation by a developmental optometrist would be good. http://www.covd.org There have been posts by people on the board who did VT (vision therapy) and no longer needed the dyslexia label (ie. their problem had been vision all along). My dd both had the vision issues needing VT *and* dyslexia. But we got dramatic, dramatic changes with VT, and it's SUCH a common issue with dyslexia that it's really wise to check out. Besides, a developmental optometrist eval is way less expensive than a neuropsych, making it a good starting point.

[peacefully]

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[rafiki]

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