2squared Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 you *knew* your 6yo ds has high functioning aspbergers and your dh was opposed to getting him tested? Dh's reasoning is that ds's issues aren't strong enough to sadle him with a label. Dh's view has some validity in our very small, very rural community. How would you start educating yourself to best help your dc? I had ds in sensory OT, and I am hoping to go again this spring/summer. The 1.5 hour drive is just too much in the winter in our remote location. Other than sensory issues, I can see that ds will need help interpretting social situations. His literal interpretations in conversation are beginning to be an issue. I also need guidance with helping him deal with his intense emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 goodness-tough situation.....if testing wasn't an option,I'd suggest reading all the books I could get my hands on about asperger's --there are a few books that I've found on AMAZON.com that are about asperger's and learning about emotions and social situations....you can do a general search on asperger's and see if anything comes up that might fit your situation. good luck.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinF Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 It took me several years to convince dh to have ds tested. He was like your dh in that he didn't want ds labeled and he also didn't want the label to become a crutch. The reality is that ds has to function in this world and that means that we have to figure out a way to help him do it to the best of his ability. All testing did was give me some answers and it helped me have more knowledge about how to deal with issues. Testing did reveal a bilateral processing disorder which we address using games. I would read and talk to some educators about what they recommend. I am fortunate that I have a group of friends online who have children on the spectrum and we discuss different things. Social storytelling works wonders for us. Also our ds has a friend who is about a year and a half older than him. Hanging out with her and playing has helped him tremendously. He has learned more appropriate behaviors because he sees her model them for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I would try and talk to DH. No one in your community needs to know the diagnosis, but it really help both of you to know your starting base. On the other hand, I'm sure other people have noticed that he may not be typical. I'd get some books about asperger's and autism. I like 1001 great ideas for teaching and raising children with autism spectrum disorders, Ten things every child with autism wishes you knew, and for behavior, Functional behavior assessment for people with autism (downside to this book is that it doesn't talk about behavior intervention plans, but it's still my go to when the kids have a new behavior I need to figure out). For sensory I loke the Out of sync child and the out of sync child has fun. The everything parent's guide to sensory processing disorder is another good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi mum Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I was anti labelling when DS was that age too. He wasn't that much different from other kids his age and we were working with him on the areas we needed help with. But at age seven the differences really began to show up. And I've talked to lots of other people who had the same experience at around that age. We also moved to an area where no one knew us - but they judged DS on the behaviours that they saw. It was no longer a matter of whether we were going to label him or not, because he had already been labelled by people around him - naughty, immature, antisocial etc. It was time to step up to bat for him with a label that helped people understand that it wasn't lack of parenting or being a spoilt brat that was the issue. The label became a tool to protect DS and to help others understand him. I know each situation is different and I totally understand your DH's point of view but I just wanted to let you know that it in the future it may get harder to avoid having a label. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Right now you just can only do what you can do. Read lots, talk with his doctor often, and become very educated. If you can, encourage your dh to read and view the same things you are so you can have similar background information. I agree with others that the label may be more difficult to avoid in the future. Unfortunately having the label can open doors for services and therapies that you can't access as well without it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 For resources to teach social skills, look at http://www.linguisystems.com. Other than that, I would try to keep him in OT and read lots of books about Aspergers. There is a yahoo group called GIFTSNC that you might want to join for some additional online support. GIFTSNC stands for Giving and Getting Information For Teaching Special Needs Children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly M Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 It was no longer a matter of whether we were going to label him or not, because he had already been labelled by people around him - naughty, immature, antisocial etc. It was time to step up to bat for him with a label that helped people understand that it wasn't lack of parenting or being a spoilt brat that was the issue. The label became a tool to protect DS and to help others understand him. :iagree: We had our daughter tested when she was 3 1/2, and the most important thing the label (autism) did for us was to put me into high gear, looking for some answers for her. In that sense, it was a valuable tool in getting her the intervention she needed. I knew she had issues, but the label served as a wake-up call for both me and my husband. My daughter is doing very well at age 11, and I believe early intervention (traditional therapies and biomedical) was the key to her progress. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Thanks for the replies and support. I was anti labelling when DS was that age too. He wasn't that much different from other kids his age and we were working with him on the areas we needed help with. But at age seven the differences really began to show up. And I've talked to lots of other people who had the same experience at around that age. I think this is exactly what is happening right now. Ds turns 7yo next month, and his behaviors seem more obvious to me now than when he was younger. Dh isn't sensing the same changes yet so I am feeling pretty alone at the moment. I tried to get dh to the sensory OT, but he just couldn't or wouldn't or didn't understand or ????. Off to find some reading material. I can do what I can by myself and just wait patiently for dh to catch up. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie of KY Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Keep educating yourself and also ask how a label will help you. I totally understand that a label may set him apart in some ways. We waited until even older to evaluatue and it was because I think a label will be helpful to explain to others how my child is wired - and keep him from getting in trouble just because he takes someone literally. I've also read that a lot of adolescents understand themselves better when you can explain their differences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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