cin Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 The first 2 times, we grounded her for the evening and made her do 'homework' to finish what she didnt' finish. But today, she was wailing telling me she didn't mean to lie, she just forgot to check and truly thought she was all done. So DH and I are in a dilemma. Yes, she has MAJOR disorganizational issues and short term memory issues. BUT, professors and bosses won't really care. DH says that we should still punish her because maybe it will teach her to check before she says "YES". But then I feel bad punishing her for something that she has trouble with. We've tried everything. Checklists really didn't help; she forgets to check things off :001_rolleyes:. Any other bright ideas? Please???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Have you thought of trying workboxes? They are very visual and don't require a checklist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Can you have her show you her completed work? That way you can doublecheck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'm afraid that I would just make her do it when I do find out that she hasn't. And perhaps you need to check her more often, too, in order to keep her accountable, i.e., "When you think you're done, bring me all your books and let me see." Not to be mean to her, but the work does need to get done and if it keeps piling up from day to day, you simply won't finish what you want to accomplish by the end of the year so that she can move on to the next year's work.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'm afraid that I would just make her do it when I do find out that she hasn't. And perhaps you need to check her more often, too, in order to keep her accountable, i.e., "When you think you're done, bring me all your books and let me see." Not to be mean to her, but the work does need to get done and if it keeps piling up from day to day, you simply won't finish what you want to accomplish by the end of the year so that she can move on to the next year's work.... My son must turn in all work to me each day. I look over it and approve or not. Until I made him do this he could never remember what he did, or didn't do and would also sometimes save up work to give to me. There are also times that I go thru the books and write dates on pages so he will know what day something has to be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 The first 2 times, we grounded her for the evening and made her do 'homework' to finish what she didnt' finish. But today, she was wailing telling me she didn't mean to lie, she just forgot to check and truly thought she was all done. So DH and I are in a dilemma. Yes, she has MAJOR disorganizational issues and short term memory issues. BUT, professors and bosses won't really care. DH says that we should still punish her because maybe it will teach her to check before she says "YES". But then I feel bad punishing her for something that she has trouble with. We've tried everything. Checklists really didn't help; she forgets to check things off :001_rolleyes:. Any other bright ideas? Please???? I have a with organizational issues too. I think 9 yo is too young to give her that much responsibility and I absolutely wouldn't punish her. I might have her do the work as homework, but I don't consider that punishment. It's just...homework. Professors and bosses won't care, but she's only 9. Give it time and give her increasing responsibility in small increments, and eventually, it will get better. My 14 yo is the one with organizational issues, and she is much more organized now than she was at 9. For now, I would make it my responsibility to check behind your dd and point out any incomplete assignments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crispa Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 A business workplace would have some kind of self-checking structure in place so things wouldn't get omitted. Maybe a spreadsheet to type the steps into (which would signal if a step or a form or something was missed), maybe a visual system of filing or organizing work, maybe a verification program for computer work, maybe a team-based approach. The extreme independence of school -- where each student, alone, is completely responsible for each and every aspect of everything they do, and with no team-based or management or structural support, no cubicle mate to ask a quick question to, or answer a quick question for -- is pretty unrealistic, actually. Bosses tend to be much more lenient than teachers! :) Anyway, I'd do the same as I'd do for public-school schoolwork (if my child were in school): look over the assignments every day at (you pick: 5 p.m., 3 p.m., noon), and if something's not done, then say, "Whoops, you left out page 2 of the math, and an essay question in the history book. Would you rather finish it up before or after having your ice cream?" ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 A business workplace would have some kind of self-checking structure in place so things wouldn't get omitted. Maybe a spreadsheet to type the steps into (which would signal if a step or a form or something was missed), maybe a visual system of filing or organizing work, maybe a verification program for computer work, maybe a team-based approach. The extreme independence of school -- where each student, alone, is completely responsible for each and every aspect of everything they do, and with no team-based or management or structural support, no cubicle mate to ask a quick question to, or answer a quick question for -- is pretty unrealistic, actually. Bosses tend to be much more lenient than teachers! :) Anyway, I'd do the same as I'd do for public-school schoolwork (if my child were in school): look over the assignments every day at (you pick: 5 p.m., 3 p.m., noon), and if something's not done, then say, "Whoops, you left out page 2 of the math, and an essay question in the history book. Would you rather finish it up before or after having your ice cream?" ;) That's a really good point. At my office, we have software that we use for tracking due dates and assignments. Beyond that, I use my Outlook calendar to set up reminders for appointments and important due dates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I agree. I did not realize the child was this young. A fourth grader, in general, simply needs more one on one parent time and certainly more oversight.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 If it makes you feel better, my DD9 is a very independent worker and is quite well-organized (better than my older kids!) and she does exactly the same thing. She will skip problems or miss the 2nd page of the assignment (they are all written down in her planner) and tell me she is "done". So I ALWAYS check her work. If she missed something, she just gets to sit back down and finish it before she goes to play. No punishment required - she just needs an older set of eyes to double-check things for her still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I have a with organizational issues too. I think 9 yo is too young to give her that much responsibility and I absolutely wouldn't punish her. I might have her do the work as homework, but I don't consider that punishment. It's just...homework. Professors and bosses won't care, but she's only 9. Give it time and give her increasing responsibility in small increments, and eventually, it will get better. My 14 yo is the one with organizational issues, and she is much more organized now than she was at 9. For now, I would make it my responsibility to check behind your dd and point out any incomplete assignments. :iagree: Have her bring it to you to look over when she thinks she's done. That way you can just say "Oops, you forgot these 2 problems" or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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