What grade do you tell people?

[zaichiki]

Really? Friends and relatives seems more reasonable but your mailman...the bus driver...strangers ask specific questions about the individual subject grade levels your kids are working at? :001_huh:

 

Are they asking in a polite conversational way like "Oh, and what grade are you in?" or are they asking in a "Hi..I don't know you and you don't know me but I'm just really curious as to the age/specific grade level per subject correspondence of your child."

 

Shutterbug,

 

The question frequently comes after seeing something my kids are reading or overhearing something the kids are discussing. Sometimes neither of these things seem to be a factor and I wonder if people are just reacting to the vocabulary/speaking style the kids are using.

 

stranger or acquainance: HOW old is he?! (or) WHAT grade is he in?!

me: X years old. (Sometimes I add that we homeschool.)

s/a: And he's reading/studying X?! What GRADE is he in?! (or) Isn't that a high school subject?! (or) Is he in, like, X GRADE?! (using a grade number several years ahead of his age)

 

I have to say that the tone of voice used is often one of wonder with a slight color of "I'm offended" included.

 

I usually try to answer that the particular child really likes to read or is really interested in the particular subject (paleontology, ancient Greece, World War II, etc.).

 

Similar-style questions come about dd's musical ability. They just don't use the word "grade." (It starts with asking her age and then continues with asking what she's studying.)

 

Dh gets asked about our kids at work. He works with a lot of different people at several different sites. Many like to ask about homeschooling once they find out that we "do that." And word gets around. Some have continued to keep tabs on what our kids are doing for years. They specifically ask. (Dh is anti-brag. In fact, he doesn't honestly believe his kids are really that bright anyway.)

 

Dh tries to deflect the first time people ask by saying that we don't use grade levels. If they continue, he often says that we're "all across the board." They almost ALWAYS ask more questions at that point. Many people have asked dh specifically WHAT his kids are studying in X subject. He has found that the fastest way to end the conversation is to simply answer their questions.

[2smartones]

Dh gets asked about our kids at work. He works with a lot of different people at several different sites. Many like to ask about homeschooling once they find out that we "do that." And word gets around. Some have continued to keep tabs on what our kids are doing for years. They specifically ask. ... He has found that the fastest way to end the conversation is to simply answer their questions.

 

Mine gets asked about the kids at work, too. Honestly, I don't know how the topic came up. We came to a family day at his office one time, and *everyone* greeted us with, "Oh, so yooooooooooooooou're who he's been talking about? Yoooooooooooooou're the smart kids? Hey, say something in Latin. Say something." (We were obviously on display at that point. :glare: Um... hello? When did my kids join the circus?) The conversation ends pretty quickly when people get :001_huh: followed by :rolleyes: as a reaction from the kids. :lol: Actually, sometimes they'll say something smart, blow people away, and then walk away without realizing how funny it is. :tongue_smilie:

[ShutterBug]

Shutterbug,

 

The question frequently comes after seeing something my kids are reading or overhearing something the kids are discussing. Sometimes neither of these things seem to be a factor and I wonder if people are just reacting to the vocabulary/speaking style the kids are using.

 

stranger or acquainance: HOW old is he?! (or) WHAT grade is he in?!

me: X years old. (Sometimes I add that we homeschool.)

s/a: And he's reading/studying X?! What GRADE is he in?! (or) Isn't that a high school subject?! (or) Is he in, like, X GRADE?! (using a grade number several years ahead of his age)

 

 

 

Perhaps :001_smile: . Ds was an early and articluate speaker. When he was younger folks would comment on how well he spoke or how smart he was...but don't people say that about everyone's kids ;) . At the age of 5, when he would point out objects in Latin while we were out and about nobody ever stopped to stare in awe or be amazed that he was studying Latin.

 

He's been reading fluently since the age of 3 and is always carrying around whatever book he's reading. Maybe because he is somewhat tall for his age...but nobody (not that I've noticed anyway) has ever blinked an eye when he was 3/4/5 and reading a large, thick book from the seat in the stroller or shopping cart. Just yesterday he was trailing around behind me in the grocery store with his nose stuck in a rather large and intimidating looking chess tactics book. Granted, he's 8 now, but it still isn't something you see often. Nobody commented or really even seemed to take notice.

 

We meet on a weekly basis at a coffee shop to play chess with other players in the area. Ds is decades younger than the men playing and they have always treated him just like any other chess player. They respect him, give him their best game and will gladly hover over chess puzzles, analyze game positions or discuss at length the variations on the Sicilian opening with him without so much as blinking an eye. Nobody has ever stopped to ask how old he is...or what grade level he's working at in math.

 

As some have mentioned, it could be a geographical thing. You may also be correct in assuming that it's because your children appear more outwardly intelligent, which therefore prompts attention and questions.

Edited March 16, 2011 by ShutterBug

[....]

We use whatever grade they would be by age + public school date cut-off.

[zaichiki]

You may also be correct in assuming that it's because your children appear more outwardly intelligent, which therefore prompts attention and questions.

 

Hey, I didn't say that. I didn't mention intelligence anywhere in my post.

[Jenny in Florida]

Edited to add: I forgot to mention that I voted "other." My daughter, when she was still homeschooling, averaged about five grade levels ahead of her age. My son is currently averaging two or three.

 

With my daughter, we did the same thing someone else mentioned:

 

I'm homeschooled, but by age I'd be in ____ grade.

 

We came up with this approach, because it answers the question people are actually asking. She was adamant that saying she was in her grade by age when she wasn't doing any academic work at all that fit the statement was lying. And we found all too quickly that saying the grade (or the average of the grades) at which she was really working resulted in long conversations no one really wanted.

 

My son sort of averages his age with the grade level of his classes, then performs a calculation that includes the ages/grades of his friends. So, currently, he is seventh grade by age (I think) but is taking online classes that range from 7th through 10th grades. Since some of the things he wants to do most begin at 8th grade, he usually says he's in 8th. And that's what grade Florida Virtual School thinks he is, too.

 

When it comes to activities, by the way, we place them on a case by case basis. In general, we've found the best fit both academically and socially is for them to be the youngest in a group by a little bit. This doesn't often meet their academic needs, but it's close enough. And they don't stick out like sore thumbs or feel left out of friendships because they are obviously younger than the rest of the group. So, if my child is 10 and there are groups for 8-10 and 11-13, we usually ask for the older class. For mine, being the oldest in a group is always a disaster.

 

For example, my son is younger by a year or two than the rest of his Sunday school class. His two best buddies are in the group, on a year older and one two years older. They've been close for a few years. It was just a couple of weeks ago that one of the teachers discovered my son was younger and was shocked. She had assumed he was one of the older students in the class.

 

He's tall, too, which probably helps. And he's always been close friends with kids who were older.

Edited March 16, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[Jenny in Florida]

There is no good solution. I am faced with finding the least bad situation. She wants peers. She wants friends. She wants to find a place where she belongs. There isn't one.

 

I'm so sorry you're in that place. We were, too, which is why we agreed to the early college program. It hasn't been perfect, but my daughter did find at least some of the things you listed.

 

It's so hard.

[Nan in Mass]

I tell people we homeschool so my children are ahead in some areas and behind in others and then give their age. I told the children to give their age, also. This usually distracts the person and they say, "Let's see, that means you are in..." and do the math. I told my children to agree to whatever the person came up. I told them to plead ignorance if the person insisted on knowing. In general, mine are only accelerated in weird things, so this works fine. My youngest goes one better and when asked, calls over to me, "What grade am I in?" LOL That give the asker a very clear picture of how ungraded our homeschool is. I answer that people his age are usually in blank grade. Mine aren't graduating early, so we can get away with this.

-Nan

[acurtis75]

My dd has learned to say, "I homeschool but if I were in school, I'd be in ___ grade." This is not lying, just stating the facts.

 

This is great advice. Thanks for sharing. I actually just posted on another thread about how akward it is when people ask us what grade my daughter is in and she blurts out "I just finished my 2nd grade grammar book" and the person I'm talking to has a 1st or 2nd grader 3 years older than her. I'm going to teach her to respond this way.

 

As for the moving up classes issue....I am in charge of children's church at my church which is small (somewhere between 10 - 20 kids max on a Sunday). Of those kids we have 2 five year olds and my daughter who are homeschooled/afterschooled and therefore ahead of the others in reading and writing ability. We've addressed this by splitting in to 3 groups PreK before they can read. K-2nd for the one's who can read and 3rd -6th for the older kids. I keep my daughter in the middle group even though she can do the lessons the older kids do because of the peer age group and because I think it's good for kids sometimes to build confidence by having easy mastery of a subject. I often get copies of the worksheets that are more difficult from the older group's class and she does them independantly during the week and we discuss them.

[nitascool]

What I say... "We homeschool"... if pressed "We work at their skill level which varies".

 

We get the just curious...don't really care... what grade are you in question.

 

My oldest is pretty good at just saying I'm 10 and we home school.

 

My 2nd says, "Sometimes 3rd", which almost always gets further questioning. I think that's why he does it. He likes to talk about what he's learning.

 

My 3rd says 1st which is what grade he thinks he's in, having no idea what other Sept. 6yo's do. If going to PS he would have started K this year a few weeks before turning 6.

 

My 3yo insists she's in Kindergarten anytime someone asks if she's in preschool.

 

But we more often get the more detail questioning. Upon learning that we home school most folk around here proceed to quiz my children, usually beginning with math and moving on to what they are actually doing in x subject. It doesn't take long for them to realize that they don't really fit into their age-grade.

 

They make both curious and offensive comments about my children. I used to try to ignore or gloss over the questions until my 9yo (then 5) asked me why I wasn't as proud of his being smart as Mrs. X was with her son being great at basketball. So I don't brag IRL but I also don't deny my children's accomplishments anymore. *I sometimes brag here... but that's just so I don't drive my poor husband crazy.:tongue_smilie:

 

I can't count how many times people have asked me, "But why, our schools are great." The school my children are slated to has a failing report card.

 

We also get... they really need to be socialized, because my 9yo is "weird". They think it's because we homeschool that he is awkward.

 

In church they are put in very mismatched classes. They are often asked to read the text (reading far better then some of the teachers) or answer most of the questions simply because they are the only ones in the class that can. And this is a group of church kids who've gone to church forever and heard all the stories a 100 times.

 

My oldest would better fit in the youth group, but would be physically mismatched. To make matters worse he is very small for his age.

 

My 9yo being SN and accelerated, is both too smart for the class he's in and too immature. The teachers do find him challenging, but are doing their best to accommodate him.

 

My 6yo doesn't shine as brightly, tends to be more quiet and is content to not learn anything new in his class. For him it is a social outlet.

 

My 3yo is in the nursery class until she turns 5 and has already gotten to the recycling of the lessons to her great disappointment. She has already asked to home school Sunday school.

 

On the other hand if we were going by grade in sports I might say my 10 yo was in Kindergarten, my 9yo in preschool, my 6yo in 1st (right on track) and my 3yo in 3rd. :lol:

[joannqn]

We are enrolled in a virtual academy that allows me to choose all of our curriculum, scope, sequence, methods, etc. By law, my kids are public schoolers and they've been grade skipped by the academy one grade. That's the grade we use.