Do you ever think about

[LarlaB]

how your children (when grown) will view your decision to HS? Do you care?

 

DH was home-schooled grade 2-grade 12, and his 4 younger sisters were 100% home-schooled. The fact that he was homeschooled, obviously, had bearing our decision in this generation- both good & bad. I feel fortunate that I can first-hand examine the overall picture of homeschooling and not just idealize or run blind.

 

Over the years, I've heard a lot of careful feedback from DH & his siblings RE their homeschool experience, transition to college & overall impressions. They are very respectful of the hard work their mom put into their education- she was 1000% invested, yet there isn't an overwhelming sense of "YES- it was great, I was soooo lucky!" They all seem to feel that they missed out- either on having fun (it was rigorous..they started school at 6am), peer relationships or simply being able to develop own interests.

 

One experience that stands out to me, that I've observed several times on this board, was when the youngest wanted to go to private school (age 14). Her parents, my in-laws, said no, and it forever changed their relationship.

 

Homeschooling is a decision, like many, that is made by the parent on behalf of the child. Yet, I'm starting to believe that its crucial to allow DC to have a weighted voice at some point in the process.

 

Thoughts?

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I think it really doesn't matter what you do or how you do it. The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence. AND, people will always talk about what COULD have been.

 

I went to public schools my whole life. I was given almost NO rules and was allowed to do whatever I want, and BOY DID I! I would give ANYTHING for a childhood like DH received. Yes, his parents were strict and they were a bit sheltered, but he never had to deal with heartache and worry/anxiety that I had to. He was not scared the way I was, about Pregnancy, STD's, my boyfriend abusing me, my parents fighting, etc. and so on. Many people say they wish their parents were like mine.... they have no idea what they are talking about.

 

Personally, I have always voiced the opinion that I wish I would have gone to boarding school. BS in Europe would have been ideal, LOL, but I would have liked it ANYWHERE. I'm sure there are people DID get to go to boarding school who would say the opposite.

 

Like I said, it doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it.... you're darned if you do and darned if you don't .

[regentrude]

My children have ASKED to be homeschooled. We had initially made the decision to send them to public school, and they had five great years at our local elementary school. I brought them home in 5th/6thgrade because we were not happy with the school, they were not happy with the school and there was simply no point in going there.

My DD was on the fence about high school and I would have allowed her to make the decision, with my strong advice for homeschooling - which is what she will do.

I believe that kids should not be homeschooled against their will. I can't imagine how that would be possible anyway - you can lead the horse....

I listen to my kids and regularly check with them whether they still feel that homeschooling is the best option for them , whether the WAY we homeschool still works, what they'd like to do differently, etc.

[Gooblink]

I think about this a lot. Am I stunting my kids' opportunities? Am I screwing them up socially? Are we exposing them to enough different sorts of people so they can learn to deal with vast personalities?

 

The grownup HS'd kids I know are about half-pro and half-against.

 

SWB's success story in the WTM is, largely, why we switched to a classical method over the less structured approach we had taken.

 

But, yeah, I fret over it. :)

[hsbaby]

Sometimes...but my kids are adamant that we continue homeschooling. So, I guess I'll just throw that in their face if/when they complain about it later in life:tongue_smilie: Maybe I should record their shrieks at the mention if public school now so they can't deny it later:)

[gaillardia]

The fretting has begun.:lol:

When child marries and child's spouse makes it clear that homeschooling was NOT a GOOD IDEA...:001_huh:

 

Our dd16 said to me recently that had she gone to school it would have changed who she is and she likes who she is and her interests, her character, her values. She is familiar enough with ps girls her age and she thinks they act fruity, are self-absorbed, focus on boys too much, etc. They are good kids too, and she is satisfied for now. A few months ago she was feeling disappointed in having been homeschooled because she felt like she didn't measure up academically. She was mad at me.

I think many kids may look at their situations in life and feel resentment, no matter what.

Like Gao Meixue said...grass is always greener, etc.:iagree:

[Ibbygirl]

I do. I think my dd will appreciate it when she's grown if she doesn't already. I teach a class of 8th grade girls at my church and dd is in my class. All of the other girls either go to PS or Christian school. My dd hears their complaints about homework, and test anxiety and problems with teachers at school and I think she realizes that she has it pretty good. That and that we spend a lot of time on developing her talents in things that she loves so I think overall she is happy that she is homeschooled even if she may not ever "voice" it. :)

[FloridaLisa]

Well, two of my dc have already said they are so happy they are home educated. One is in college and the other has dipped her toe in *the world*. I'm certain I'll be held responsible for many decisions we've made and that my dc would hold me responsible (articulated or not) whether they would have been privately, pulicly or home educated. I guess I've assumed (to the extent I've even thought about it) that it will be similar to the way I hold my parents responsible. I may have done things differently at various points, but their decisions were always based on 1)what they knew and 2) their love for me. So, not really worried about it at all.*

 

Lisa

 

*As I typed that, I realized that while I don't worry about it, the thought that I am responsible for both the upbringing and education of my dc has been daunting. It certainly spurs me on to do my best for them and to always maintain a relationship through this schooling thing.

[nono]

how your children (when grown) will view your decision to HS? Do you care?

 

 

Oh, absolutely I care. They are my customers! My job is to do right by them, and if at some point an alternative schooling arrangement becomes preferable, I'd better be open to it. While I'm extremely confident that I can provide a superior education all the way through, I'm not arrogant enough to believe I'm the only one who can do it.