How to do it all - sports, part time jobs, academics?

[Sonshine]

Three of my kids at home play sports. We were the ones who weren't going to let sports be a major part of our lives - then changed our policy to provide an acceptable active social life for our girls. Teenage girls are going to look around and choose friends - we found an organization with which we are very happy with the choices for friends. However, with my poor organizational skills, working part time, the kids working part time in our family business, and sports, not as much academics is being accomplished as should be, especially with the elementary age children. I can cut back my part time work, but need other ideas. Between the sports and the busy season of our business, there isn't much down time. How do others do this?

[Pata]

Prioritize and cut. The unfortunate reality is that you can't do it all, so list what you are doing in order of importance to you, ie. 1-academics, 2-part-time job/family business and so on. Then fill in your calender with those activities first, ie. Mon-Fri 9-1 school time (don't schedule anything else during this time), then move to the next activity on the list. When you run out of time, you realize that you have to cut the remaining activities. You may not stick to exact times, but at least this will give you an idea of how much time you actually have available. It's hard, but it's equally important to teach your kids time management as it is to give them an "acceptable active social life" :).

 

ETA: Wanted to add some practical suggestions too. We always do school in the morning. I don't answer the phone, check email or schedule anything else during that time. This way I know we get our academics in each day. My work is flexible (meaning I can work at any time), so I try to get up a hour before the kids get going and get some work in. We also have a rest time in the afternoon that I use to get some more work done. The other suggestion I have is to take some of your kids work with you when you go to the various sport classes. That way some of your kids can work while the others are participating in their classes. Hope something in there helps!

Edited December 27, 2010 by Pata

[regentrude]

I don't know how many children you have and what ages they are.. so not sure if anything I do is of any help. I homeschool two children and work 30 hours a week. DD rides horses and spends 15 hours a week at the barn.

 

Two things that help us get done/save time:

1. We start school at 8am every morning. This way, we have the majority of academics done by lunch. Some days the kids have to come to work with me, some days they will be on their own for a bit - but whichever it is, the kids' mornings are for school work. No exceptions.

 

2. DD is arranging to get rides to the barn from older girls who have their own transportation. This saves me half an hour of driving for one round trip.

[Peela]

I learned fairly quickly that our homeschooling network was so great, we could be out and about every single day. I realised I needed to prioritise.

I am a morning person. For many years, we spent 3-4 solid mornings a week doing work, as well as evening read aloud. One or 2 of those days we would get the afternoon 2.

As time went on, I insisted it was 4 mornings a week and several afternoons.

I woudl never book activities for mornings if I could. Sometimes there were full day events or co-op activities that I would compromise for. And some of those activities were always educational, like Latin classes or drama.

But basically...you have to protect your academic time and sacrifice other things. During school time I stayed in the room with them, available to help them- no housework. I didnt answer the phone or allow visitors.

I couldnt have done anything like a classical or rigorous progam without this (and I was not especially rigorous).

 

I recommend getting yourself organised...it really makes a difference. THat is something that homeschooling taught me, in the many hours of sitting at my desk while my kids worked - to study how other people organised themselves. It took a while but now I am organised.

[Joanne]

I could not manage my life and the kids' lives without my DH. I have 3 jobs and am a full time student; busy is an understatement!

 

Your girls are teens? Can they handle some of their own activity?

 

Where is your DH in this?

[Margo out of lurking]

You don't do it all, you can't. You MUST be better organized. In addition to making everything work more smoothly for your family, you will be a better role model, and you can make these new changes a fun choice for your family.

 

If you don't have a school schedule, now might be a great time to set one up. Do you work part time at your family business? Are the children able to come with you so that you can be available to help if needed? If you are chauffeuring and waiting while the bigger kids are playing sports, perhaps you can work on school with the younger kids while you wait. Are your older kids able to drive themselves, or can you take turns driving with another family? You can consider the possibility of schooling during the summer, which would give you the luxury of lessening your school pace right now.

 

I am working three days a week. In Jan., ds begins basketball two times a week, dd will be playing soccer five times a week (4 nights, plus Saturdays). Dd and I also have an overnight event coming up, and both of my kids need to prepare for TeenPact. And we need to keep up with schoolwork. It'll all happen, although I'm thinking school won't be finished in May. It all comes down to how well *I* keep up with the schedule. They can't do it by themselves.

 

If you want to make this successful for your family, you'll need to prioritize. You can ask your older kids to help keep you accountable (after all, their sports-playing depends on it!). You can do this!

[plansrme]

I concur with the others who have said that if your not being organized is a problem, you have to get organized.

 

Some practical suggestions:

 

1. As someone else said, we also start school at 8 AM, no exceptions. That first hour is often our most productive.

 

2. Before the semester starts, I schedule every single subject on a spreadsheet. I build in catch-up days here and there, but barring serious illness, we stick to the schedule. This ensures that we do not get behind. The kids have the schedule as well and are good about sticking to it.

 

3. Fit in one-on-one time in unconventional ways. For example, one of my daughters gets picked up from ballet at 7 on Thursdays, and we go straight to the gym to pick up her sister at 8. We use that hour to study for her Friday history test, every single week. In other years, we have done read-alouds in the car. I call out spelling words while I cook dinner, etc.

 

I have 3 kids, and a job. One of my daughters is a gymnast (20 hours/week); one is a swimmer (7 days/week, 1 1/2-3 hours per practice); and both girls dance 2-4 days a week. My 7 year old, thankfully, only has seasonal sports at this point. I am counting down the days until my 13 yo can drive, but for now, it works, and neither I nor my kids would have it any other way. There is very little down-time in our lives, but there is enough.

 

Notwithstanding the conventional wisdom, I firmly believe that you can do it all if that is what you want. You have to figure out how, and everyone has to be willing to work his or her fanny off to make it happen. Obviously, not everyone wants this kind of structured lifestyle, but it is right for our family. If it isn't right for yours, then yes, something may have to go. (I would go get rid of the kids' part-time jobs first, on the grounds that they have the rest of their lives to work, but obviously that is something on which reasonable minds may differ.)

 

Terri

[Renee in NC]

I don't think what your daughters are trying to do is any different than many other high school students. My ds goes to school from 8-3, plays basketball (10-15 hours a week), and works PT on the weekends (sometimes 15-20 hours.) Once basketball is over, he may get another PT job as well.

 

I think the difference is that from 8-3, he is in school, school is always happening, and that is his teachers' job, so they aren't distracted by housework or another PT job, etc. After that, he has more work to do, but it is entirely on him to get it done. OTOH, his teachers are also not teaching all subjects, but just their specialty.