OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 If you had loaned a significant sum of money to the family of a friend (w/o the friend knowing, just their kid) so that the kid didn't loose their house and then saw for over a year that they went to Disney 2-3 times a week (they live in Ocala) would you be pissed? I get calls about how they have this and that bill and the threat of utilities being turned off and no one will help, yada, yada. Then I read on Facebook of all these Disney trips. Gas alone is expensive! Would you call them on this? No mention has been made of meeting the agreed to payments of $50 a month - no money has been received. I feel like a b*tch if I say anything but... What do you think? Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I'd stop enabling them. First, though, I'd let them know I was not going to enable them any further. I might respond to one of their Disney trips with, "I'm glad to see your finances are straight now and you will not need us to cover any more of your expenses." Mind, I don't mean to post this on the internet, I mean speaking it to them ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Good point about the enabling! Smacking myself for not seeing that - thanks! Good advice, thanks lion family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I've been on both sides of that fence ;) It hurt to have it pointed out to me and it STINKS to see someone blowing money when I just lent them some because they were broke. Happy to help :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I have no real advice, other than what I hear from Dave Ramsey. If you say something about it, it will probably ruin the relationship. And if you say nothing about it, it's pretty obvious that you won't get paid back. I'm really sorry, that is just a stinky situation. :grouphug: Can you afford to just forgive the debt or do you really, really need that money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 does Disney have annual passes. Could it be that someone gifted them with an annual pass last year and they are just using it? Or could they have purchased an annual pass themselves before they realized how much trouble they were in? It's not like you can trade something like that in or sell it to someone else, so you might as well use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 I've been on both sides of that fence ;) It hurt to have it pointed out to me and it STINKS to see someone blowing money when I just lent them some because they were broke. Happy to help :D You summed it all up perfectly!! Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 I have no real advice, other than what I hear from Dave Ramsey. If you say something about it, it will probably ruin the relationship. And if you say nothing about it, it's pretty obvious that you won't get paid back. I'm really sorry, that is just a stinky situation. :grouphug: Can you afford to just forgive the debt or do you really, really need that money? Well, they knew we needed the moola for a kid starting college last September and were fine with that at the time....We can squeeze by and are by not having the heat on in a large part of the house. Just feeling like a big time loser for going against my own principles here. Thanks for commiserating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 You've hit on why we don't lend anyone money. We'll give it away, but I never want to be in the position of having to ask for it back or resenting the other person for not living up to their end of the agreement. Sorry you're in this. Yep, you are right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I'm betting they have annual passes, which means the cost is gas and whatever food they buy there. Not justifying it - just saying. If they were making the scheduled payments, I wouldn't say anything - but they aren't..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 does Disney have annual passes. Could it be that someone gifted them with an annual pass last year and they are just using it? Or could they have purchased an annual pass themselves before they realized how much trouble they were in? It's not like you can trade something like that in or sell it to someone else, so you might as well use it. Could be. Yet, the gas money to get there could pay for the electric bills etc, you know? Seems a bit irresponsible to me but that's me and why I'm asking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I know someone that is rich at the beginning of the month and starving at the end :glare: I stopped giving them money, because I was too stressed out seeing them waste it on crap and STILL not purchase things like food the whole family could eat. Instead, I would bring healthy food when they were broke and once I paid their bill myself. That's a different sort of situation, it sounds like they're using the money to pay for what they're saying they need to pay for. It's also a little the same, because it can drive a person up the wall to try and help someone and then watch them throwing money away. I know a gift is a gift, but if I give someone a sweater and they use it for a dog blanket, I feel I have a right to be indignant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 Would you call them on this? No mention has been made of meeting the agreed to payments of $50 a month - no money has been received. I would not "call them on it", but I would say you are in need of the money now and would appreciate them paying back the loan. You may never hear from them again, but at least they won't be bugging you for further loans. Stinkers. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 I know a gift is a gift, but if I give someone a sweater and they use it for a dog blanket, I feel I have a right to be indignant. A woman after my own heart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 but at least they won't be bugging you for further loans. Stinkers. :glare: Good point! Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I just don't get ppl like this! I would never even think of not repaying a friend no matter the amount. Being me, I would say something. It doesn't seem to me that they are valuing your friendship anyway. In the very least they could communicate to you about it. If they were gifted a pass-that I get. But if they bought it-that is money they could have paid you back with. And why are they wasting money on gas and food for Disneyland anyway? That is def. money they could pay you back with.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 I just don't get ppl like this! I would never even think of not repaying a friend no matter the amount. Being me, I would say something. It doesn't seem to me that they are valuing your friendship anyway. In the very least they could communicate to you about it. If they were gifted a pass-that I get. But if they bought it-that is money they could have paid you back with. And why are they wasting money on gas and food for Disneyland anyway? That is def. money they could pay you back with.:glare: Yeah, that's where my head is too. Just was feeling that perhaps I was not seeing something but even $20 a month is something, right?. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 I think you learned an expensive lesson and I'm sorry that it happened to you. :( Now you have to decide if the money is worth pursuing over a relationship because truly, that is the choice facing you. You will have to let one or the other go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 A woman after my own heart! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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