Would this bother you?

[kahlanne]

I want to remove this because i see how it can make people really feel badly and that wasn't my intention. Thanks to the responses, I can see the other side. I may not wholeheartedly agree but I don't have to. Thank you.

Edited October 22, 2010 by kahlanne
hugs

[jplain]

What is she supposed to say? He IS coming home from Afghanistan.

 

I guess you could say what does it hurt but I think it is so wrong to imply that you are a hero when there are heros dying over there and families suffering.

Don't fool yourself. The work he's doing over there isn't safe. Read the news. Contractors get kidnapped, just like military personnel. I don't care what he's being paid. His life is still in danger, and his family is still making a huge sacrifice. Don't forget that his presence over there means that fewer military personnel have to be there.

 

And be careful about judging others' motivations. Not everyone in the military is doing it only to serve their country. For many, it is first and foremost a stable job, albeit one they feel passionately about.

[radiobrain]

No, it wouldn't bug me.

[Trish]

The way I'm looking at it, is, if he got killed over there, is his sacrifice any less because he was being paid more? I don't begrudge your friend's family their joy at his return. Hopefully if anyone asked what he did over there, she would be honest and not pretend he was a soldier.

[kahlanne]

remove please

Edited October 22, 2010 by kahlanne

[DarcyB]

A lot of the work he is doing over is for the military so that they can do their jobs better, faster and safer. Granted, we don't know exactly what KIND of work he's doing, but he's not there twiddling his thumbs. He may be paid more, but that doesn't negate that he's doing a job to help serve the military as well as trying to help that country get on it's feet so we can leave!

 

I understand, he doesn't HAVE to be there, and military personnel do, and they are doing more of a front-line fight for our country. And I do understand where you're coming from, but like it was said earlier - without those private contractors, many many more of our men and women in the military would have to be there, and their jobs would be even more risky than it is now.

[kahlanne]

Trish and Korin, thanks for the responses. Definitely gives something to think about. Good to see the other side from time to time. I am happy that he is able to see his family again but the implication of military bothered me.

Edited October 22, 2010 by kahlanne

[Sophia]

It sounds like a half-truth, and yes, those do bug me.

[danivdp]

Nope, wouldn't bother me in the least. I don't think she's implying military...she's stating that her husband is coming home from a war zone....military or not, I'd be scared to death for my husband's safety. And military or not, I'm darned thankful for all the people that go over there and try to keep terrorists where they belong.....out of America.

[jg_puppy]

nm

[kahlanne]

A he's doing a job to help serve the military as well as trying to help that country get on it's feet so we can leave!

 

I understand, he doesn't HAVE to be there, and military personnel do, and they are doing more of a front-line fight for our country. And I do understand where you're coming from, but like it was said earlier - without those private contractors, many many more of our men and women in the military would have to be there, and their jobs would be even more risky than it is now.

 

 

Hmmm....never thought of it this way. I know that in all our conversations, not once did this side come up but rather how they could get out of debt, etc. I see your point now. Still don't like the implication but might be less negative now that I see this side. Thanks. :grouphug:

[danivdp]

Most people choose jobs based on the money, LOL.

 

How would you announce to your friends that your husband was coming home from a very unsafe region of the world and you were so glad that he's coming home in one piece?

[kahlanne]

You know some threads I just shouldn't read. This is one. I have someone I know well and love there as a contractor, but to answer your original question no it wouldn't bother me.

 

Jan

 

 

Jan, I am sorry you feel you shouldn't read this. I really didn't mean to offend or hurt in any way. I really do want to see the other side. Gives me another point of view to consider. In no way do I mean to imply that I don't think of his safety and wish the best for them.

[kahlanne]

Most people choose jobs based on the money, LOL.

 

How would you announce to your friends that your husband was coming home from a very unsafe region of the world and you were so glad that he's coming home in one piece?

 

 

Me I loved the sides of the car, my dad is number one and my dad is finally home. People that know us would know where he is and why he is there. I wouldn't want the implication he is something he is not but istead just that he is home and we are happy. We have several family members that work offshore for months at the time and that is pretty much what they do.

[Mary in VA]

Please take what I'm going to say gently, because I understand your indignation, but this doesn't bother me at all. I am retired Air Force with 21 years of combined active and reserve service. My husband is retired Air Force with 21 years of active service who now works for the Air Force as a civilian. Thankfully neither one of us had to serve in war zones. We have lots of acquaintances and friends that have or are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have a retired Air Force friend that now works for a contractor in Iraq. The schedule allows him to be home for large periods to be with his homeschooling family. Are contractors paid well? I sure hope so. Do they get tax benefits? You bet. Military also get tax benefit for serving in a war zone. His family is missing him just as much as military dependents miss their loved one. The only difference I can see is the pay and so what? He does deserve praise and admiration for doing a difficult job in a dangerous place.

 

Many contractors are doing jobs that the military did 20 - 30 years ago. We used to have a much larger standing military but allowing contractors to do many of the jobs enabled congress to decrease the number of mililtary slots. Additionally, not all military are on the front lines. Many positions are support jobs. Does that mean they are less important?Afghanistan and Iraq are dangerous places and the contractors are supporting the military mission. Good for him, and them!

 

Now if your friend were actively representing her husband was military, THAT I would have a big problem with. But should she really be outlining what her husband is doing on Facebook anyway? Just that he's "in Afghanistan" should probably be the limit. Operational security requirements limits what can be discussed online or anywhere.

 

HTH,

Mary

Edited October 22, 2010 by Mary in VA

[skirch]

It wouldn't bother me. His job is no less dangerous than those who are serving and the fears and worry his family has at home aren't any different than those of the military families.

 

Lots of people join the military for similar reasons. No, it doesn't pay as much as those contracting jobs but it's a steady income and free health care. Not everyone is signing up because they want to serve their country. And nobody is drafted these days. Every person serving now is doing so because they chose to and they knew there was a chance they would have to go to a war zone.

 

That said, do her FB friends not know her well enough to know that her husband is a civilian contractor? That's the part that is bothering me.

[ConnieB]

As the wife, daughter, granddaughter, greatgranddaughter and sister of military personnel, I can tell you that it does NOT bother our family. He IS in Afghanistan, he IS putting his life in danger (and on hold at home). No, he's not military but nothing you posted says he said that he is pretending to be military. Now, if he comes home and starts accepting some of the perks that many companies offer returning military, I would not be happy if he hasn't disclosed his employment vs. his military service. (edited to add...some of these companies do recognize contractors for perks as well.)

 

But, most of the contractors over there are in a SUPPORT position to the military. They are doing the work that either directly supports the military or takes the responsibility off the military, leaving them better able to do their primary job. That means that our troops are safer because they are not spread too thin.

 

And make no mistake...contractors are in just as much danger as the troops. In some ways they are in more danger, because most contractors aren't authorized to carry weapons, and those that are don't have the firepower the military does.....so that puts them in danger without the same defense as our military. No, they're not on the front line pushing forward, but to the eyes of the enemy, they're not natives and therefore they're targets. Contractors are constantly at very high risk for kidnapping, which sadly more often turns into death than rescue/release.

 

Yes, many contractors are in it solely for the money, and that's fine to me. If they're willing to risk their lives for the job, so be it. Obviously I wish that our troops could be paid for their service at such a high rate too!

 

One other thing that much of the public is not aware....there are quite a few support positions for military personnel that are so far removed from the danger zones that they really aren't in any more danger than they are on any other military mission. They are no less active military though...not in the eyes of the government who recognize their battle service nor in the eyes of their military brethren. And their unit still gets the local welcome when they come home....as they should. Supporting our front line troops is something they can be very proud of...they've trained hard too and their cog is the wheel must be in place for the success of the other cogs. The other cogs may be in the position for more of the glory, but I don't know a single military member who thinks those support positions are less important then the front line guys. The contractors are another cog in the wheel.

[KingM]

I agree with most of the other posters here. It's difficult to face a long, dangerous separation like this and I think they are justified in feeling proud/worried/anxious about their husband and father being in that situation. I hope he comes home safely.

[jplain]

One other thing that much of the public is not aware....there are quite a few support positions for military personnel that are so far removed from the danger zones that they really aren't in any more danger than they are on any other military mission.

Very true. My brothers are Air Force pilots. They fly cargo planes in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan several times a month. Their jobs really aren't that dangerous because the planes are too big to shoot down, but the work they're doing is very important.

[jplain]

I don't know if the OP is still reading this, but just in case:

 

If you'd rather not post underneath a list of other responses, you could post something to her wall, like, "I'm so happy your family is all together again!" As her friend, I'm sure you can share in that joy, regardless of how you feel about where he has been or how much money he's earned while he was away.

[kahlanne]

I don't know if the OP is still reading this, but just in case:

 

If you'd rather not post underneath a list of other responses, you could post something to her wall, like, "I'm so happy your family is all together again!" As her friend, I'm sure you can share in that joy, regardless of how you feel about where he has been or how much money he's earned while he was away.

 

 

Yes, I am still reading. I just didn't see the other side and even though I know that I wouldn't want to imply military even if it helps military, I can see the other side now. I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings or imply that their families are any less important if they have contractors over there either which is why I deleted the original post. I can see the other pov now and while I may not agree wholeheartedly, I wouldn't want anyone to be hurt or angry about my pov. Understand?

 

Your suggestion is a good one. I am glad her family is back together and he is safe. I am also thrilled that he is able to make the amount of money he is making. They are sacrificing lots for that money and that is something that dh and I couldn't do. I am amazed at people that do.

[KingM]

If you'd rather not post underneath a list of other responses, you could post something to her wall, like, "I'm so happy your family is all together again!" As her friend, I'm sure you can share in that joy, regardless of how you feel about where he has been or how much money he's earned while he was away.

 

This is a good point, and the other thing to keep in mind is that she was probably mentioning the money aspect of the posting as a way of staying positive under challenging circumstances. I'm sure she was worried about sending her husband into a war zone and depressed at the thought of having him disappear for a year from her life and and the lives of her children. Telling herself again and again, "Well, it's a lot of money," was probably her way of coping, nothing more.

[ConnieB]

Very true. My brothers are Air Force pilots. They fly cargo planes in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan several times a month. Their jobs really aren't that dangerous because the planes are too big to shoot down, but the work they're doing is very important.

 

Yes, exactly. And any military member can tell you how vital it is that those cargo planes get to them. And what happens when they don't! The pilots, crew, ground crew, etc may not be in immediate danger doing their job, but without them, the troops can be in grave danger simply because they don't have the supplies they need (think ammo...or as my husband says, 2nd most important is the mail from home).

 

God Bless your brothers!