X-Post: WWYD...Transition to Homeschool???

[PenKase]

Hello all,

 

So, in a nutshell, our 10 year old dd will be leaving our crappy school system. I've prayed, meditated, prayed, and meditated about this for a very lllloooonnnngggg time. We are four weeks into the school year, at the intermediate school (that btw, is in it's 5th year of not meeting AYP) and dh and I have some serious. serious. reservations. already. So serious are our issues with dd's current school, class, and teacher that she is set to begin with a new teacher on Monday. We have been mulling over the situation and have decided that dd would be better at home than suffering through and adapting to mind.numbing.drone like.mediocrity.

 

I'd be much obliged if you could speak to the following:

 

1. DD is slightly resistant to homeschooling because she'll miss her friends whom, btw, she sees for very brief periods of time, before class, in passing, on the school bus AND are the same "friends" who two-faced last year to the point of complaining about how unjust they were in their treatment of her.

 

2. DD has stated that she enjoys (and has flourished) being in a classroom setting, learning in a team environment. Obviously, we cannot compete with that at home but I'm committed, really more than anything, to help open her up to the realization that learning doesn't just happen in the classroom.

 

3. She'll dearly miss the novelty of riding the school bus, her "friends", the new school (kids in our district change schools in 5th grade); again things I cannot compete with at home.

 

4. My thinking is to provide a "cooling off/transition/deschooling" period while helping dd sort things out. Not sure yet what to do during this time.

 

All in all, I do believe that homeschooling this child will allow her a view of the world outside of the school bubble to which she has grown so accustomed. She has a genuine, gentle, kind hearted, easy going, introspective, open-minded soul that should be fed and allowed to flourish. It really saddens me to see those qualities diminish due to the continued exposure to outside influences as a result of "socialization." Even my once homeschool resistant dh has opened himself up to see that the mock learning/social environment, which he has been a big proponent of, provided by traditional schools is not what he wants for his children.

 

We have just begun to homeschool our dd6 this year and decided to leave the decision of whether or not to homeschool up to our dd10. As her parents, though, we feel we have to intervene before it's too late and things get worse. I know the pull to stay in school will be a challenge for her but in time I honestly feel she will be grateful for this alternative.

 

My ultimate wish for both my children is that they be allowed the time and space to think and grow as individuals, learn who they are as people, understand their place in the world in an effort to leave it better than how they found it. As I stand today, I believe that my dh and I have been chosen to be their parents to help pave the path and clear the way in making this a realization. My ultimate contribution to this society is the love, dedication, and effort I put forth in helping to raise these precious beings, our tomorrow's future.

 

Ok, I'm off the soapbox now. Thank you for reading. TIA.

[TravelingChris]

I don't know where you live but if you live i a populated place, can you get her to join homeschooling groups, co-ops or academy? My kids that are homeschooling now haven't gone to school but I know they get plenty of socializing from all their homeschool activities. There are homeschooled sports, homeschool bands and choirs, homeschool scout troups and 4H, homeschool field trip groups, and on and on and on. In most areas I have lived in, the problem isn't finding social opportunities, the problem is choosing which ones to pursue.

 

I agree about deschooling but suggest that since for her, social concerns are so high, that you find some alternatives in that area.

[Starr]

I don't think a 10 year old can decide. Once you make the decision you can make it work. There are many opportunities but it won't be the same and cannot be compared directly to ps. Her life and friendships will change. In my opinion most often by 5th grade getting out of the school system is a good thing socially. :D

[Lolly]

She is going to desperately miss her friends. She is right. Even those two-faced ones. While a deschooling phase is recommended, you need to make sure it isn't just sitting around the house moping. That will just add fire to her missing her friends. Try to make it a time of field trips. Perhaps an unscheduled vacation. Do a bunch of art activities. Play games. Cook together. Do science experiments. Definitely try to find a homeschool group or add an outside activity. Let her take up a musical instrument. Show her that there is much that she has missed by being in school. All the while, her knowing that the books are coming out...later, but that the fun activities will continue to be a part of her schedule. And, lastly, do what you know is right for her.

[PenKase]

Thank you all for your kind, supportive advice. I've been writing a list of things to do with dd that she will enjoy. Just this afternoon she suggested we have a designated day and block dedicated to crocheting. Activities such as this and the others mentioned will definitely help with the transition.

[NanceXToo]

1. DD is slightly resistant to homeschooling because she'll miss her friends...

 

As she will have some notice before being pulled out, I would send her to school on her last day with her very own address book, and tell her to be sure to get the phone numbers of those kids she really wants to stay in touch with, and then she can at least call them, or arrange playdates outside of school with some of them, and then she won't feel like she's giving them up entirely. (I told my daughter to do this when I pulled her out and it was so very important to her that- she "forgot" and didn't get anyone's number! Although we already had a few numbers of her very closest friends anyway).

 

2. DD has stated that she enjoys (and has flourished) being in a classroom setting...

 

Could you look on meetup or yahoo or some such and see if you can find a homeschool/co-op group? Then at least SOME of the time she can be in a group setting.

 

3. She'll dearly miss the novelty of riding the school bus...

 

Well, she can't ride the bus but she can ride in the family car to plenty of fun and interesting places that she'd never have an opportunity to visit (or rarely) if she were in school all day. We do lots of field trips and outings here! And sometimes we do school outside. They don't do THAT in school!

 

4. My thinking is to provide a "cooling off/transition/deschooling" period...

 

I agree!!

 

"Not sure yet what to do during this time."

 

Anything you want! Crafts, games, books, field trips, outings, activities, conversations, hobbies, nature walks, educational TV shows, baking, cooking, whatever it is that you guys are interested in, start exploring it together and have a good time! (pssst...she'll still be learning)!

 

:)

 

Good luck!

[....]

I was having this conversation with someone recently. It's almost harder to start off homeschooling after they have been in the school system. I think they become indoctrinated with "that's the only lifestyle available" and they become really dependent on what other people think.

 

I would sign her up for a couple of enrichment classes or a co-op, so she still feels like she's having a classroom experience. Also, a lot of hs groups have park day and field trips. We're in a group like that. We had a field trip the other day to an orchard and they had mini-classes on beekeeping, cotton, apple-picking, etc. The kids had a great time.

 

Another frustrating thing you might encounter is that you might be playing catch-up - academically. This happened to us. My daughter did 2 years of math last year because our ps did not even touch on the subject.

 

Good luck! It'll be rough this fall (adjusting, trying to figure out where they are academically) but your kids will have a great time. My son tells me every couple of weeks how much he likes homeschooling.

[PenKase]

As she will have some notice before being pulled out, I would send her to school on her last day with her very own address book, and tell her to be sure to get the phone numbers of those kids she really wants to stay in touch with, and then she can at least call them, or arrange playdates outside of school with some of them, and then she won't feel like she's giving them up entirely. (I told my daughter to do this when I pulled her out and it was so very important to her that- she "forgot" and didn't get anyone's number! Although we already had a few numbers of her very closest friends anyway).

 

What a great I dea!! We're going to the school to pick up her things tomorrow and have her get friends' contact information.

 

 

Well, she can't ride the bus but she can ride in the family car to plenty of fun and interesting places that she'd never have an opportunity to visit (or rarely) if she were in school all day. We do lots of field trips and outings here! And sometimes we do school outside. They don't do THAT in school!

 

Yup, totally agree. I think she just needs time to adjust and she'll begin to see that different is actually good too!!

 

 

It's almost harder to start off homeschooling after they have been in the school system. I think they become indoctrinated with "that's the only lifestyle available" and they become really dependent on what other people think.

 

This is one of the top reasons we decided to pull her out now!!! In just a few weeks time the indoctrination was beginning to take a strong hold. It had become painful to stand and watch!

 

I would sign her up for a couple of enrichment classes or a co-op, so she still feels like she's having a classroom experience. Also, a lot of hs groups have park day and field trips.

 

I've already signed up with an active hs group and dd6 is already taking classes at a hs learning center in the area, which dd10 will also attend. She'll need some time, but I think she'll come around.

[myfunnybunch]

I pulled my eldest dd, then 12, from public school. She was willing, but had many of the same reservations.

 

To address your (and her) specific concerns...

 

1-How much time does she spend with these friends after school? This doesn't have to change. She can stay connected to the friends to whom she feels closest. It DOES take more work, because the kids don't have that recess time to say, "Hey, want to come over after school?" She's going to have to take the initiative to call them on the phone, and you'll have to be willing to be flexible and set up get-together opportunities. My dd had a weekly get-together day. Her best friends would come over after school on Monday afternoons for cookies and homework or drawing or play. We also went to the movies and hiking and had sleepovers, and she'd invite friends to join her.

 

2-Homeschooling doesn't mean the end of group learning. Again, if this is important to you, it takes some work and flexibility to find opportunities, but extra-curricular activities and homeschool classes can provide this kind of experience.

 

3-No need to compete. :) If you set up as better-worse, or as a competition, you set yourself up for disagreement and argument. Yep, she'll miss things about public school. That's real life. Always, always, in every choice we make, we are also choosing to give something up. I know my kids would enjoy many aspects of public school, and so would I, but homeschooling is what we do. It is what it is. I very deliberately don't say, "If you were in public school you'd have to get up early and have homework at night," because I don't want to get into the comparison game. (Also because they have many p.s. friends, and I want them to respect their friends' schooling as I expect their friends to respect ours.)

 

4-Transition. Lots and lots of reading, trips to the library, watch educational DVD's if you allow that sort of thing, grab magnifying glasses and paper and pencils and go out to draw spiders or flowers or leaves. Choose some of her curriculum or studies together. I allowed my dd to choose her science studies and a subject of interest to pursue, then gave her time to pursue those. Learn over tea and cookies. Create a learning routine so that when you do start to get into your studies she's accustomed to the flow of the day and week. Talk, talk, talk. Ten-year-olds are so much fun to teach!

 

Have fun! :)

 

Cat

[PenKase]

I pulled my eldest dd, then 12, from public school. She was willing, but had many of the same reservations.

 

To address your (and her) specific concerns...

 

1-How much time does she spend with these friends after school? This doesn't have to change. She can stay connected to the friends to whom she feels closest. It DOES take more work, because the kids don't have that recess time to say, "Hey, want to come over after school?" She's going to have to take the initiative to call them on the phone, and you'll have to be willing to be flexible and set up get-together opportunities. My dd had a weekly get-together day. Her best friends would come over after school on Monday afternoons for cookies and homework or drawing or play. We also went to the movies and hiking and had sleepovers, and she'd invite friends to join her.

 

2-Homeschooling doesn't mean the end of group learning. Again, if this is important to you, it takes some work and flexibility to find opportunities, but extra-curricular activities and homeschool classes can provide this kind of experience.

 

3-No need to compete. :) If you set up as better-worse, or as a competition, you set yourself up for disagreement and argument. Yep, she'll miss things about public school. That's real life. Always, always, in every choice we make, we are also choosing to give something up. I know my kids would enjoy many aspects of public school, and so would I, but homeschooling is what we do. It is what it is. I very deliberately don't say, "If you were in public school you'd have to get up early and have homework at night," because I don't want to get into the comparison game. (Also because they have many p.s. friends, and I want them to respect their friends' schooling as I expect their friends to respect ours.)

 

4-Transition. Lots and lots of reading, trips to the library, watch educational DVD's if you allow that sort of thing, grab magnifying glasses and paper and pencils and go out to draw spiders or flowers or leaves. Choose some of her curriculum or studies together. I allowed my dd to choose her science studies and a subject of interest to pursue, then gave her time to pursue those. Learn over tea and cookies. Create a learning routine so that when you do start to get into your studies she's accustomed to the flow of the day and week. Talk, talk, talk. Ten-year-olds are so much fun to teach!

 

Have fun! :)

 

Cat

 

 

Thank you!