I wish I could take this day back for my 9yo.

[pdalley]

Update on the teacher:

 

My aunt got her assistant to ask her neighbor (who is a 4th grade teacher at the school) for the scoop.:tongue_smilie: This is her first year teaching at the school and the teacher wasn't sure where she came from. She admitted that the teacher was a "stickler for structure" and almost military-like in her classroom management. OTOH, she has been dealt a rough hand - there are other special needs kids in her room as well as two kids who don't speak English well. If she is a first year teacher, they did her a terrible injustice.

 

Also, we went to Open House tonight and witnessed first hand that she is not singling my ds out - she is not nice to ANYONE. She told a girl's mother that, "She doesn't have that assignment on her desk because she didn't turn it in. That's what she's good for - starting an assignment, not finishing it, then losing it" in a very snotty tone. My dh said he overheard her say something else equally snotty to another student.

 

OTOH, my 7yo and 6yo's teachers were great! My 7yo is doing so well and I have hope that his difficulties won't be as severe as my 9yo's.

 

The teacher that threw my son across a room and screamed at him daily was also a first year teacher. I asked for a different placement and the principal SCREAMED at me in an IEP meeting.

 

I would ask that he be moved to another class. If this is her first year and she's this hateful she needs to be taught how to behave differently.

 

As far as the IQ test? My oldest tests borderline MR. Always has - probably always will. He has autism, dyslexia and documented processing delays. He is not borderline MR. I don't think it will be an issue as he gets older. I'm sure you will make sure he's challenged. Please don't worry about it. It's a number they use to help him. Nothing more. (My experience)

[Renee in NC]

Renee, since the teacher embarrassed your son in front of other students, and he's only going to be at the school for 3 weeks, can you ask to have him placed in a different classroom until then? I can totally see not wanting to return to the scene of a humiliation.

 

I would also, for the sake of other kids, make sure the person responsible for breakdown of communication knows how much your son was hurt.

 

I am very sorry that this happened to him on his first day.

 

I am not so sure that he *is* moving to the self-contained room at the other school, though. The problem is that while he tests at a 62, that isn't where he functions (other than academics.) He has language and visual processing issues, but a phenomonal memory as long as it doesn't involve sounds or print. He doesn't really belong in a MR classroom but he doesn't belong in a regular class, either. We'll have to see what happens.

 

The teacher that threw my son across a room and screamed at him daily was also a first year teacher. I asked for a different placement and the principal SCREAMED at me in an IEP meeting.

 

I would ask that he be moved to another class. If this is her first year and she's this hateful she needs to be taught how to behave differently.

 

As far as the IQ test? My oldest tests borderline MR. Always has - probably always will. He has autism, dyslexia and documented processing delays. He is not borderline MR. I don't think it will be an issue as he gets older. I'm sure you will make sure he's challenged. Please don't worry about it. It's a number they use to help him. Nothing more. (My experience)

 

I want to ask the AP is the teacher came to the school through the "Troops to Teachers" program.:lol: My dh says she acts like a drill sargeant. Think about the Army guy in "Major Payne"...:lol: My ds is adamant that he doesn't want to be in the other third grade class either (I am assuming he means the one next to him) because he says she yells all day.:glare: I am pretty sure there are 3-4 other rooms, though.

 

It just seems to me if she *is* a first year teacher, they gave her a load that is sure to lead to burnout quickly.:001_huh: I'll keep you updated.

[asta]

I want to ask the AP is the teacher came to the school through the "Troops to Teachers" program.:lol: My dh says she acts like a drill sargeant. Think about the Army guy in "Major Payne"...:lol: My ds is adamant that he doesn't want to be in the other third grade class either (I am assuming he means the one next to him) because he says she yells all day.:glare: I am pretty sure there are 3-4 other rooms, though.

 

It just seems to me if she *is* a first year teacher, they gave her a load that is sure to lead to burnout quickly.:001_huh: I'll keep you updated.

 

I realize you're joking, but the types of people who go through the Troops to Teachers program are the antithesis of the types who go through drill sergeant training.

 

 

a

[Renee in NC]

I realize you're joking, but the types of people who go through the Troops to Teachers program are the antithesis of the types who go through drill sergeant training.

 

 

a

 

We have a good friend who is a drill sargeant at Fort Leonardwood - I was cracking up thinking of *him* being a teacher! I meant no disrespect, of course.:D

 

My concern, of course, is for my ds. She's probably a good teacher for a certain type of child, but my ds is *not* the trouble making type. He needs structure, but he needs compassion, too.

 

We'll see how it goes.

[EKS]

She's probably a good teacher for a certain type of child, but my ds is *not* the trouble making type. He needs structure, but he needs compassion, too.

 

 

 

Your comments about what she said at parents' night really worry me. Usually teachers are on their best behavior at those times, and if that was an example of her best behavior, I'm guessing that it is *much* worse the rest of the time, in which case, she is not a good teacher for anyone. Even if she is not directly cruel to many of the children in her room, the fact that they are witnessing cruelty every day is terrible. As for the troublemakers, I really don't think that nastiness is an appropriate way to discipline.

[Dobela]

I would ask that he be moved to another class. If this is her first year and she's this hateful she needs to be taught how to behave differently.

 

(My experience)

I so completely agree with this. Yes, often first year teachers are unfairly burdened with difficult classes. It happens. However, she is not showing any tact or compassion. That won't come with experience or with a 'better selection' of students. I remember being overwhelmed and stressed as a first year teacher, but I would have never treated a chold or parents that way.

 

I also agree that you need to have him moved. I would ask for an experienced teacher that is known for compassion. My brother has aspergers and spent his entire seond grade year in a classroom that sounded much like the one your son is in. It had lasting effects on him. One was a huge drop in confidence and willingness to work at any level. He so completely shut down that he had no other choice than the self contained special ed classroom with the severely MR children. He spent 4 long years there before he was able to be a part of another class again. It also severely damaged his peer relationships. His peers began to pick up on what the teacher was saying and use it as reasons why they should not play with him or treat him nicely. That followed him thru high school. It helped make him a target of other kids for bullying and such. I believe he was in part a target simply because so many other kids witnessed the teacher being a bully. If an adult does it, it seems ok KWIM?

 

:grouphug:

[Renee in NC]

Your comments about what she said at parents' night really worry me. Usually teachers are on their best behavior at those times, and if that was an example of her best behavior, I'm guessing that it is *much* worse the rest of the time, in which case, she is not a good teacher for anyone. Even if she is not directly cruel to many of the children in her room, the fact that they are witnessing cruelty every day is terrible. As for the troublemakers, I really don't think that nastiness is an appropriate way to discipline.

 

I was thinking of her super tight structure and the no-nonsense manner that she has. You are right, though, that humiliation is not a good way to treat any child. There was a container of misshapen homemade cookies on the counter in the room with a sign attached that said, "It's the thought that counts, right?" I stood there wondering if a parent had made them...it wouldn't have surprised me in the least for her to be that nasty to someone.

 

*If* he is going to stay in a regular classroom, I will ask for a different placement. He's okay with that as long as he doesn't have to go to the yeller's room!:tongue_smilie:

 

Another thing - I have a cousin who is in college to be a teacher. He is currrently in an Ed Psych class where he is required to observe/tutor for 15 hours this semester. He wants to work with my 9yo if the school will allow it (if not he'll work in another room.) He and my ds don't know each other well, but he is very interested in keeping him from having to go to a self-contained class if at all possible. His insight into the class could be invaluable.

[Laurie4b]

I've been reading the ongoing story. Renee, this is absolutely sickening. I'm so sorry your sweet son got a bully for a teacher. It makes me sick to my stomach. I would definitely ask to have him moved to another classroom. The teacher is poisoning the well for potential peer relationships as well--the other kids are going to remember their "first impression."

 

I"m glad that he is getting accomodations. They can do that through 504 without the IEP meeting; I've seen kids get all kinds of accomodations.

 

I think I would also go in and talk to her directly about the homeschooling thing and the effect on your child of her prejudices. I would go with dh and an additional witness. I go all the time with parents of kids whom I tutor. If there is anyone like that in your lives, I would ask him/her to go. Because the teacher is a bully, I think she thrives in lack of being confronted.

[HeidiD]

Your comments about what she said at parents' night really worry me. Usually teachers are on their best behavior at those times, and if that was an example of her best behavior, I'm guessing that it is *much* worse the rest of the time, in which case, she is not a good teacher for anyone. Even if she is not directly cruel to many of the children in her room, the fact that they are witnessing cruelty every day is terrible. As for the troublemakers, I really don't think that nastiness is an appropriate way to discipline.

 

 

:iagree:

[Jan in SC]

How is it going for your dc? Are things better? :grouphug:

[Laurie4b]

Renee, do you have an update? I keep thinking about your ds.

[Renee in NC]

Renee, do you have an update? I keep thinking about your ds.

 

Nothing has changed much, except now his teacher just makes him play starfall.com most of the day. She has it in her head that if someone would just teach him to read then he could read. (insert rolling eyes - he has been playing starfall since he was 5, but he still can't read.)

 

His new thing is that he complains of his stomach hurting every morning. At first I thought it was his medicine, but his stomach was hurting before he took it this morning. I really don't know what to do about it. Yesterday the asst. principal talked to him while he lay on the bed in the nurse's office. She feels really bad for him.

 

I have found out there is an "in-between" self-contained class at the school around the corner. It is for dc who aren't really mentally retarded (which he isn't really) but can't function in a regular classroom. I know that both boys saw the school psych Monday for some other screenings she wanted done. I am hoping that we won't have too many more weeks of this mess.

[Laurie4b]

Nothing has changed much, except now his teacher just makes him play starfall.com most of the day. She has it in her head that if someone would just teach him to read then he could read. (insert rolling eyes - he has been playing starfall since he was 5, but he still can't read.)

 

His new thing is that he complains of his stomach hurting every morning. At first I thought it was his medicine, but his stomach was hurting before he took it this morning. I really don't know what to do about it. Yesterday the asst. principal talked to him while he lay on the bed in the nurse's office. She feels really bad for him.

 

I have found out there is an "in-between" self-contained class at the school around the corner. It is for dc who aren't really mentally retarded (which he isn't really) but can't function in a regular classroom. I know that both boys saw the school psych Monday for some other screenings she wanted done. I am hoping that we won't have too many more weeks of this mess.

 

Well I am glad that the teacher is not being a witch and shaming him anymore, though playing starfall all day prolly isn't terribly engaging. And I'm glad that the asst. principal is compassionate toward him. I am so sorry, though, that he had to go through this at all.

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

advocating is hard knocks. Keep fighting.

[pdalley]

Nothing has changed much, except now his teacher just makes him play starfall.com most of the day. She has it in her head that if someone would just teach him to read then he could read. (insert rolling eyes - he has been playing starfall since he was 5, but he still can't read.)

 

His new thing is that he complains of his stomach hurting every morning. At first I thought it was his medicine, but his stomach was hurting before he took it this morning. I really don't know what to do about it. Yesterday the asst. principal talked to him while he lay on the bed in the nurse's office. She feels really bad for him.

 

I have found out there is an "in-between" self-contained class at the school around the corner. It is for dc who aren't really mentally retarded (which he isn't really) but can't function in a regular classroom. I know that both boys saw the school psych Monday for some other screenings she wanted done. I am hoping that we won't have too many more weeks of this mess.

 

:grouphug: That teacher sounds like a real winner. Bet she thinks dyslexia doesn't exist too. Been there done that. I was told the oldest didn't have it - it was his autism. Despite my other two with autism reading just fine.

 

Hopefully he will be transferred to the proper class soon. I still say that teacher does not need to be in any classroom. She's a bully.

[Just Another Jen]

Nothing has changed much, except now his teacher just makes him play starfall.com most of the day. She has it in her head that if someone would just teach him to read then he could read. (insert rolling eyes - he has been playing starfall since he was 5, but he still can't read.)

 

His new thing is that he complains of his stomach hurting every morning. At first I thought it was his medicine, but his stomach was hurting before he took it this morning. I really don't know what to do about it. Yesterday the asst. principal talked to him while he lay on the bed in the nurse's office. She feels really bad for him.

 

I have found out there is an "in-between" self-contained class at the school around the corner. It is for dc who aren't really mentally retarded (which he isn't really) but can't function in a regular classroom. I know that both boys saw the school psych Monday for some other screenings she wanted done. I am hoping that we won't have too many more weeks of this mess.

 

Renee,

When my now 16 yo was in school in 1st grade, he got a stomach ache everyday from the stress of not being able to read and having a not so good teacher. I started giving him a couple tums before school and it did help on most days. Just a thought.

 

Jen

[elise1mds]

My son gets stomach pain from anxiety... not sure if that's what's going on here, but it's a thought. I hope he's able to get to the right place soon (((HUGS)))

[Renee in NC]

My son gets stomach pain from anxiety... not sure if that's what's going on here, but it's a thought. I hope he's able to get to the right place soon (((HUGS)))

 

We are pretty sure it is anxiety. The nurse asked me this morning, "Can't someone tell the teacher about his issues?" I said, "She knows - she read his report before he ever came to her class." She looked puzzled and said, "Then why did she come in here yesterday asking me why he is late to her class everyday?"

 

She said she told the teacher to ask the asst. principal and that the two of them spoke for quite awhile, so maybe things will be easier. I don't hold out hope for that, though. I feel like calling the central office and asking them to hurry the heck up!!!! I am pretty sure they are ready to place him ASAP after the paperwork is done.

 

My cousin is waiting for his paperwork to be approved so he can observe/tutor in his classroom as part of his Educational Psych class. That will help some. This teacher doesn't believe in LDs I don't think.:confused:

 

The sooner he is out of her class, the better.

[Laurie4b]

:grouphug: I still say that teacher does not need to be in any classroom. She's a bully.

 

:iagree: totally. I bet she feels real big and strong by being so tough on little kids who are struggling.

[Renee in NC]

:iagree: totally. I bet she feels real big and strong by being so tough on little kids who are struggling.

 

I don't know what her deal is. It's hard for me to imagine someone going into teaching who doesn't have the tolerance for children, but I guess it happens.:confused: My ds says his teacher is being nicer to him now and that another teacher (my 6yo's 1st grade teacher, actually) is coming into his room to help him with reading.

 

My greatest desire is for him to be able to read. I hope they are able to help him achieve that goal, even though I couldn't.

[Hikin' Mama]

:grouphug: to you both!