rookie Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) Baby #5 has arrived, later, on the mommy-age-spectrum for me and I find that I am a very different person. With Baby #1 I had a very high-powered executive career with a big staff, big accounts, big wardrobe of designer clothes, big expense account and a no-nonsense approach to being the mom. It was all net-net. Including bfing. It did not "work" efficiently and I had my non-bfing, pro bottle-feeding mother by my side. :glare: She encouraged me - when I experienced trouble nursing and had to get back to work - to just bottle feed. I had no idea what I was doing. Now, looking back I see that if I would have known to go to a lactation consultant I could have worked it out. But between my stress, my mother, and nursing issues, I just gave up at six weeks. Baby #2 followed a similar story. I got to two-months, during which time I left the big job and moved us cross-country, and quit. I was tired and stressed and "did not have time to sit and nurse." At five months I had a sudden epiphany about bfing and tried to get my milk back even working with a lactation consultant, but it was too late and I was sad. Baby #3 I vowed to do a better job. Again, baby was not feeding well and it was very frustrating. My dh lost his job, I would have to go back to work (I had stopped for a short while with #2) and my mom was still at it -- "Formula was good enough for me; you turned out fine" (which is totally questionable) BUT I WAS DETERMINED. I found a LC and she was amazing. We sat for hours figuring out what was not working and how to correct it. Amazingly neither the ob/gyn or the pediatrician had thought to help me in any way at all. If not for the LC, I would have given up again at the two-month mark. But I stuck it out for seven months. (I know this is nothing to those of you who nurse for years, but it was a milestone for me!) Baby #4 I thought would be a no-brainer. Except that a few weeks into his life, tragedy struck close to home and I was an emotional mess. Guess what my mother's advice was then....."You really should not nurse your baby. You will hurt him because you are so emotional. You may even kill him." :001_huh: I remember freaking-out on the inside but looking at her with determination and stating that I would nurse my baby no matter what! I started searching on the internet - even on this forum - and was reassured that I was doing the right thing. Again, I made it to seven months. Now, enter Baby #5. I am a different person. I am a SAHM hsing the lot. I wear jeans and ts ever day with flip flops and my hair in a pony tail. No staff. No expense account. Actually no $$$. :tongue_smilie: I ended my relationship with my mother over a year ago. I sit and nurse my new little person as much as she wants for as long as she likes. I have no bottom line to meet and no "parental guidance" to consider except my own. I have learned to research bfing issues and work with baby rather than "getting rid of the problem" by bottle feeding. Just recently baby has been fussy/gassy and having funny stools. I have spent time researching the forum and on-line and have figured out what is bothering her. I will keep on trying and learning and who knows, I may make it to eight months this time! :001_smile: rookie (Please, this is not a bash on bottle feeding. I have fed my babies with bottles and they never suffered from any confusion and they are all big, strong, top-o-the-charts kids. This is only about my personal learning journey) Edited August 25, 2010 by rookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I love to hear stories like that...it seems we all have them regarding some aspect of our lives. It's so precious to see the refining of our places in this world. In my own life, I have sometimes wished that I could have just started with the last baby, but I know that the end wouldn't be the same if the means were different. Good for you for coming into your own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Good for you ... said as I sit here nursing my smallest. LOL I have changed a lot too since my first, in a whole lot of ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 It's good to grow. On a different note, I just have to say that it is interesting how much play my thread about a deleted thread received and this thread has gone virtually unoticed. Hmmm. What does that mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herbalgirl Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 I think it just shows that as you've aged, you've relaxed... You're more comfortable in your role as a mom. I know as I've gotten older, I find other people's opinions on how I raise my kids matter less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Baby #3 But I stuck it out for seven months. (I know this is nothing to those of you who nurse for years, but it was a milestone for me!) Not true. Breastfeeding long term was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was blessed with a Mom who begged me to stick it out for 3 months, so I ended up going past a year with my first one. I give you more credit because moms are so influential. I ended my relationship with my mother over a year ago. I'm sorry :grouphug: I loved hearing about your evolution as a mom. Thanks for sharing it. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Wonderful post, Rookie! Many :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: as you continue your journey and plump up that baby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Amazingly neither the ob/gyn or the pediatrician had thought to help me in any way at all. This is not actually amazing to me. But I'm so glad you found a good LC. She was my salvation the first time around. I wish more women realized how invaluable and worth the money a good LC can be. Enjoy every nursing moment with this one. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 I don't have an itty-bitty one (my youngest is 6), but I still notice how my parenting style has changed over the years. It's really interesting to look back and see how my opinions have morphed over these last 18 years. I always end up wishing for a rewind button, to go back and do things over with my new perspectives! By the time I get everything 100%, my kids will be grown and I'll have grandchildren. Maybe that's why grandparents can be so opinionated, it took them that long to figure out their style. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 While we are discussing b.feeding can I make a plea to donate milk if one can and has enough left over (there are hoops to jump through I know)? My ds was born at 29 week, 2.3lbs and had to have donor milk because I am unable to b.feed. It's actually been one of the greatest sadnesses of my life. I just was unable to produce any supply, despite LC's and meds and all kind of things. I knew b.feeding would be hard, but I had no idea I just might not produce any milk! Anyways, all that to say my ds was the recipient of loving moms abundance and I will be forever grateful!!! On the evolution of a mom note - I will echo what someone else said - wishing sometimes I could start with my last. But then my family wouldn't be what it is and so all I can do is move forward with the years I have left with them in the house and try to cherish every minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Sweeeeeeeet. I didn't fully appreciate marathon nursing sessions until I realized that nothing bad would happen to anyone if I sat down to nurse. Wow! Refreshing. Side lesson: Ms Frizzle is not a horrible friend in the tool box of life. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sibbis Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Good for you! Now make sure you pass what you've learned on to a first time mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 It's good to grow. On a different note, I just have to say that it is interesting how much play my thread about a deleted thread received and this thread has gone virtually unoticed. Hmmm. What does that mean? It means we are all very nosy. :001_smile: I know what you mean about being different with your 5th. I was so uptight with my first two, and then with each successive child I learned to relax and enjoy them. I also learned to trust my instincts. Getting older is not so bad. There are advantages. :001_smile: My oldest got married on Saturday. It is so strange not hearing him come up the stairs in the morning. I am so glad I made my own choices, stayed home with him, built a close relationship, and didn't listen to the people who told me I was "sheltering" him. He is a fine, well-rounded young man who still loves his mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 Thank you for all of the lovely replies. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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