Chaos.

[gpsings]

I'm really at a loss...my dd(10) is really struggling in some of her subjects, (mostly math) and really needs my attention, and a quiet place to concentrate. She's not getting it, because of my 3 year old son.

I'm really not exaggerating, he will not sit, he makes noise non-stop, he runs around like a tornado, and if I take my eyes off of him for a second, he will destroy something (anything from coloring on the walls to stuffing things into the wii. I'm spending most of my time chasing him. I try to give him things to do, but he gets bored VERY quickly, and he really isn't interested in any sit-down work yet unless it involves some kind of play dough which may or may not keep him occupied for about 10 minutes.

I would like to put him in pre-school, but we just don't have the money, and it's really costing the girls their education.

I would really like some ideas. I am a bit worried that he may be too much for me to homeschool and that he may have other issues.

[kaylk in tx]

you could contact your school district and request an early childhood evaluation. the evaluation is free and he could qualify for an early intervention program similar to preschool.

[gpsings]

That's a good idea. What kinds of things can they do?

And who would I contact, like, the board of ed that I send my attendance reports to? Or the ps my kids would attend?

[twilkin]

I have 3 and 5 yr old boys who are tornados. They have learned when I am working one-on-one with any of the other kids they have to play in their room or outside. When the older kids don't need my help the older kids work on school in their rooms or outside so they are alway separated during school. And yes, there are times when the boys get into stuff or make a mess but that is just something that coms along with boys. They are FULL of energy and curiosity.

[AppleGreen]

My oldest is a very auditory learner, but this also translates to highly distracted/bothered/irritated by noises (big and small) and it does interfere with his learning. His 4 year old sister is a bundle of energy-noise, jumping, bouncing...basically a bundle of distractions! LOL I am getting my son headphones from Lakeshore Learning like this: http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/seo/ca%7CsearchResults~~p%7C2534374302100793~~.jsp I am a former special ed teacher and had very good luck with these for my kids who were distracted auditorily in blocking out some of the noise and allowing them to concentrate a little better. (and that is a poorly written sentence, but several someones are having a melt down, so I must tend)

[FourSweetBoys]

...

[SailorMom]

So - both older children are girls and the 3 yo is a boy, right?

Yeah - that's just boys. Mine were both hurricanes from the ages of 2-4. I mean - feel free to get him tested to make sure - but I remember every one of my friends who had only had girls thought my boys were insane!

 

Does he still nap? Could you maybe do school outside - while he plays in the dirt?

 

Also - I found if I took my boys on very long walks in the morning - at least two miles - they would stay calm for hours after.

[gpsings]

Thank you all so much for very very good advice. I don't think there's anything wrong with him, really...but the way our home is set up, it just isn't practical to send him to his room. His room is upstairs, and I can't supervise him that far from me. Our downstairs is an open floorplan so he pretty much has his run down here. the headphones are a good idea...I think she is an auditory learner. How can you tell? and I did have her in PS, she did K twice, and every teacher told me she was slow. :( That's why we started homeschooling, and honestly, she's just been barely keeping up. :( I really want to help her get past it...I would love some ideas for that. Maybe another thread?

[MorganClassicalPrep]

You said one girl is 10, how old is the other girl? Could she take your son out to the yard and play for an hour or so while you focus on DD that needs that special attention?

 

What is his sleeping schedule like? Does he nap or sleep longer than your daughters? Is there anyway to adjust his sleeping schedule so you get an hour or two of free time in the morning before he wakes up? I know with my daughter I can pretty much count on 11 hours of sleep unless I wake her up earlier, and if I do wake her up I can count on at least an hour of napping that day (or an earlier bedtime.) This is how I get quiet for MY schoolwork.

 

Do you know other homeschoolers you could trade off babysitting time for the littles? Maybe another mom is also having trouble focusing on the older kids with a younger running around, you could each take the littles for some time during the week.

 

Just from what you said, he does seem to be a typical boy! :D I actually worried about the little boy I babysat from 3-5 who DIDN'T EVER make trouble. Never. Ever. I'm still convinced there are some issues there, but the parents didn't see it.

[FaithManor]

I had a friend that homeschooled five children, all emotionally disturbed children that they fostered and then adopted, while dealing with their three year old foster son who was a real "peeler" (to coin my mother's phrase). This is how she handled it.

 

She got one of those large gated structures - hinged child gates I believe - and bolted it to the floor so he couldn't knock it over and than draped netting over the top. If he wouldn't obey, he had to go into his "play place" which was filled with lots of quiet toys, and she would shut the door behind her. This was two rooms over, in the den, and all of the furniture and electronics were removed so that if he managed to get out, there really wasn't anything he could hurt himself on. Sometimes he wailed at the top of his lungs, but being two rooms off the dining room and with a heavy oak door, the noise level was very diminished. This way she could go and check on him but still also manage the kids at the the table. If he quieted down and met her expectations, he could get out. As soon as he was naughty again, he was put right back in there. Occasionally, he'd end up falling asleep. Over time, she got him trained to where he settled down enough that she didn't have to use the "play place" very often.

 

They also took chaulkboard paint and painted the lower four feet of the walls of his bedroom. She kept only his bed and dresser in the room as well as stuffed animals and soft books. But, he could have sidewalk chaulk and draw to his heart content. He would be punished for drawing anywhere else in the house, but his room was his go wild place. They kept a special door on his bedroom where he could see out yet he could be locked in and she had a baby monitor mounted up high in the corner where he couldn't get to it so that she could hear him.

 

My youngest was a real handful when he was 3-4 years old. I had huge concerns. His issue turned out to be sensory integration disorder but not a severe case so we were able to do all of his p.t./o.t. at home. We also put him on an omega oil supplement, Learning Factors, and he was a new kid in 30 days. I am convinced that the supplement did as much as the therapy although the therapy was a must. Other moms on this board have used fish oil supplements from Nordic Naturals and omega oils from Rainbow Vitamins.

 

You might want to do some reading up on SID. I bought a book from Barnes and Nobles and it literally changed our son's life. I wish I could remember the title but I can't. We gave the book to someone else several years ago.

 

Ds is probably my easiest going child now. Pure joy! Seven years ago, I would never have thought that was possible.

 

Faith

[Barry Goldwater]

3 yr old DS "sounds normal." BUT - full disclosure...no sons here, but 4 VERY HIGH energy girls...this was a challenge to our homeschool when they were young. We found early morning exercise VERY beneficial, but we live on a farm, so this was easy for us...had them out early AM "helping" me with chores before work, this would burn off some excess energy and help the little one be "better" contained so my DW could manage w/o too much stress.

 

Had friends w/ 1st child daughter, 2nd child son report HUGE, SHOCKING differences in behavior...all normal, just surprising.

 

IF you believe you have SID or other issues, completely agree with prior post on supplements...just saw a seminar on this at homeschool convention! Fascinating stuff!

[MelanieM]

My gut says to mention food intolerances and dietary triggers. I know a lot of families that have seen drastic improvement in this type of behaviour by following the Feingold diet.

 

Best of luck finding a solution that works for all of you!

[NanceXToo]

If you really want to put him into preschool but can't afford it, why don't you look into whether you have a "Head Start" (also known as "Child Development, Inc." here) where you live? It's free. 5 days a week.

 

Last year my daughter was 8 and my son was 3 and while he did not do the types of behaviors you describe, she was still easily distracted by him, so I found that putting her in the kitchen and keeping a baby gate up in the kitchen would keep him from bothering her and her from getting distracted by him. But in my case I could leave him in the living room while I worked with her in the kitchen and he wouldn't get into that kind of trouble, so not sure if that would work for you!

 

I did find that one thing that would keep him happy for longer periods of time than most other things were, when he was getting bored, was to just give him a one hole punch and a pile of paper. He loved punching holes in the paper!

 

Do you have any relatives who might want to come spend a little time with him for short periods out of the day, even just while you do math with your daughter?

 

Good luck!

[Twinmom]

You might want to do some reading up on SID. I bought a book from Barnes and Nobles and it literally changed our son's life. I wish I could remember the title but I can't. We gave the book to someone else several years ago.

 

Are you thinking of "The Out of Sync Child" or "Sensational Kids"? Both are great books on SID/SPD.

[RamonaQ]

Can you homeschool the challenging subjects while dh is in the house? I am thinking in the morning and over the weekends? What about during an enforced quiet time? If your child doesn't nap, I think at least 1 hour quiet time would be helpful... in his room. What about PBS shows? I think you could possibly get 1 hour there (I know, TV but it seems this case it really could be justified). Otherwise, a childcare trade?

 

I think between dh, PBS and quiet time you could have about 3 hours a day. I would imagine that if you could be outside, or present during an activity that your ds enjoys (digging in the sand, playing cars outside), you could probably get another 30 min while you kept a partial eye on ds.

[gpsings]

We are currently doing the DHA fish oil gummies from Trader Joe's, which I think are pretty good quality. They taste like poo p.

:tongue_smilie:

I'm gonna check into the headstart programs, but I'm also looking for an organized preschool curriculum that might occupy him with more hands-on things to help him be pre-k ready next year. I've tried letter of the week, but I didn't think there was enough activity. Maybe kidsparkz?

and then have my oldest hold off on her math until his naptime?

SID...how would I check this? Sensory integration, right? Can I just read about it, or do I need to get him tested somehow?

[Barry Goldwater]

gpsings - try Dianne Craft:

 

http://www.diannecraft.org/

 

Just met her at the CHEO convention in Akron Ohio and listened to her "Chemistry and Learning Challenges" talk. REALLY INTERESTING...I like her perspective as well which comes across in her writings.

 

Best of Luck...I KNOW you will work it out for the best for all.:thumbup1:

[gpsings]

I just ordered a cd about teaching right brainers there. Thanks, Barry!

BTW, are you REALLY Barry Goldwater? I'm an AZ native who just moved to GA 5 years ago.

[Barry Goldwater]

;)

 

"Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice; moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue"

[rafiki]

.

[gpsings]

;)

 

 

 

"Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice; moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue"

 

 

I'm a big fan. :D and I love your siggy too!

[gpsings]

What helps my bouncy youngest ds is to have one on one time with him first. Then he's not as apt to do things to get attention. I also keep a mental list of quiter activities he can only do while his older brothers do school that actually hold his attention more than 5 minutes, these I have to switch up often.

 

Can you share your list?

And we've been 'schooling' him the best I know how, but he really seems to need a lot more 'play' time than I know how to give. I would love some ideas on what worked for you.

[Daydream333]

That's a good idea. What kinds of things can they do?

And who would I contact, like, the board of ed that I send my attendance reports to? Or the ps my kids would attend?

 

I would recommend you contact the school district office in your area. Each district works differently, but the district office would know whom to direct you to. In our district, the Speech-Language Pathologist is the preschool coordinator and would arrange an evaluation/testing for your child. They may qualify for services and it would be beneficial for them. Here, they offer services, such as early speech, language, or social-emotional intervention.

 

Good luck with your little one!