What if it's just not enough?

[Guest]

This is what I keep asking myself in regards to the subjects of English and math. I read about people supplementing, I read about people changing curricula. I think I really like the looks and what we've used so far of Singapore for math and FLL/WWE for English. However, I keep having this nagging feeling that they won't be enough. That I'll get to 3rd/4th grade and wish I had used my trusted Abeka textbooks. That I'll get really sick and my son will have to go to school and be years behind. If you've been there, afraid of going non-traditional, can you share about your homeschooling journey? I don't want to do a bunch of curriculum hopping. I've gotten my hands on most history/science curricula enough to know what I like the looks of. I'm not afraid if I have to switch those subjects in the future. I am afraid of switching math and English, though. I know there are a lot of people who don't care where their kids stand in relation to their public school peers, but I do. :( Anyone been there?

[Rosie_0801]

Enough for what?

 

If the kids were in school, would you be worrying that that was enough? Since you are homeschooling, that's very likely.

 

If you are providing the best education you can, considering the options you have, then it will be enough. No one can do better than their best. From what I can gather, those here who don't care where their kids are in relation to public schooled peers are the ones who think don't think their local schools are much of a benchmark because the standards are so low. Or they are following such different methodology, comparing grade twos is like comparing apples and oranges; and any comparisons will be meaningless until later down the track. For example, if we are having our kids do narrations and copywork, there is no point comparing to PS kids who are churning out lengthy journal entries. Of course the quantity of written work will be greater the PS kids. The time to compare is in high school when we can see who's method has worked to produce good quality writers, because it is quality we care most about.

 

:grouphug:

Rosie- not an expert in anything, but has bumped you :)

[Guest]

Thanks, Rosie. I think I'm starting to freak out because I have to turn in my homeschooling affadavit to the state here pretty soon. *I* am going to be homeschooling. *Me* who used to think my homeschooling SIL was crazy. Granted, I've been doing stuff with my son for the last 2-3 years, but for some reason now it's starting to really hit me and I think I'm getting: :eek:

[Dawn E]

:grouphug:

 

I think we've all been there, to a degree. I have a tendency to overthink things, and I can get all wrapped up in the planning stages...trying to figure out the "best" material in each subject. Fortunately, BJU Math was a great fit for us from the beginning, and I have been very pleased with it. I did switch from GWG to CLE, but I had issues with GWG that were resolved by CLE. I supplement with MCT, but only because it is fun for dd. So, in regards to math and grammar, I'm comfortable continuing this path for several years. I think you will be, too, soon enough. It's a big dive to take, when it becomes "real." You've already done a great job, and you will continue to do so. And, it will be enough. :001_smile:

[debbielong]

For under-achievers, the title is a cop-out. For over-achievers, it is an excruciating, unnerving, anxiety-producing, out-of-our-comfort-zone place to live. But you must settle into "it's never enough" and be at peace or you'll drive you or your kids (or both) KRAZZY:).

[Hedgehogs4]

Without reading the other replies, I'm going to give you my answer...

 

Don't worry too much. I really believe that if you are using FLL and WWE, you are doing PLENTY. I trust SWB and JW -- they know what needs to be convered, and JW told me personally that WWE was written to help even the most writing-phobic child be a proficient writer. When I feel as you do, sometimes I need to step back from the boards, examine my own heart and my kids, and remember what is best for us. so... :001_cool: relax.

[fairytalemama]

We're all in the same boat, sister! Just have confidence that you know what's best for your children. I have to tell myself that everyday, but it is true. Start being your own cheerleader. You are choosing homeschooling--- a path that lots of parents are afraid of---and you are going to do a great job! And I am too! :hurray: for us!!!!

[mcconnellboys]

You're really not out of the mainstream with what you're using. I knew parents who were afterschooling with Singapore way back when my oldest was in kindergarten, about 1997. Bauer's programming is perfectly sound. In fact, if your child has to go back to school, I'd daresay that child will more likely be ahead than behind.

 

I know a retired English teacher here who subs for high school all the time. She pulls worksheets from her files that are at about a fifth grade level, generally, as her high schoolers can't do work at any higher level than that. This is in one of our best high schools in the county, by the way (and it made the top national high school list Forbes does, too).

 

I don't know that my son ever did a single bit of grammar work in all the three years he was back in private high

school. I also don't think they did any meaningful writing in that their work was never properly graded or critiqued so that they could learn from it. He was in honors lit all three years.....

 

The math and science teachers there were pretty abysmal, too.....

 

Now, if you live in a city that has many Forbes top 200 or 300 high schools, maybe the level of work in your area is a lot higher than it is where I live and so maybe you do have a higher bar to rise to - but for most of the country I think you can breath pretty easy....

[Tiberia]

You will be fine, and you will do better than ps could for your kid.

 

I was sold on homeschooling several years ago when we hs'd my stepson. He had failed 10th grade at ps and didn't want to repeat, so he begged us to hs. We did, and he was a reluctant student, but we kept at it. After 1 year of feeling like we were failures, he was tested. His scores went up more than 3 grade levels in Language Arts and Math. It was enough to get him back to ps (his choice) so he could graduate on time. That was with a reluctant student and clueless dad and stepmom.

 

You are much better prepared. Trust yourself with your decision. Trust your material. Trust yourself to change curriculum if necessary down the road, but for now, just pick something and go with it.

[fairytalemama]

One more thing I forgot --- if you're really nervous keeping your children up with their public school peers, check your state's board of education website. In Michigan where we are, they list all of their expectations by subject and grade level. Some of them are ridiculous, but at least you can acknowledge that up front. Just seeing what they are, gave me confidence that I'm going to be okay.

 

Here's a link to what Michigan's kindergarten expectations are for Language Arts:

http://www.michigan.gov/documents/ELA_00_(K)_87343_7.pdf

[Guest]

OH! Y'all are going to make me cry! (Yeah, it's that kind of day.) Thank you all for your kind words. I am going to print out this thread and read it whenever I feel like this. Wow, you guys have encouraged my heart so much.

 

Thank you. :)

[MelanieM]

Maybe you could find some peace in accepting that your kids will not be at exactly the same place as their public schooled peers, no matter what you do. And that would be true even if they went to public school! All kids are unique individuals, with their own strengths and weaknesses. The range is going to be all over the place, whether they're home or in school. All kids will have gaps, no matter what type of education they're receiving because it's impossible to teach/learn every single thing there is to learn.

 

I think the key is forward movement, honouring the child and his/her unique shining light as best as possible, and helping to feed the flames of a love of learning. If your kid knows how to learn, he'll get whatever else he needs when he needs it.

Edited June 9, 2010 by MelanieM

[H0MEFree]

Enough for what?

 

If the kids were in school, would you be worrying that that was enough? Since you are homeschooling, that's very likely.

 

If you are providing the best education you can, considering the options you have, then it will be enough. No one can do better than their best.

 

:iagree:

[JennW in SoCal]

Oh Monica,

 

I have graduated one, have one year left with the other and you'd think, especially by the posts I write, that I have my act together. Nope. Just this morning I had a HUGE freak out just like yours. I was thinking to myself "OMGs, I've ruined ds#2 by NOT DOING ENOUGH!! He won't get into the college math classes he needs for the science he wants to do. I've blown it! What a horrible homeschool mom I am."

 

My point is that this worry will never leave you. It will happen less often, and you'll be proud of your kids and of what you do, but there is always that nagging doubt that comes out of nowhere and strangles you with fear. I usually feed the doubt monster some chocolate so it goes away, and try to soldier on. I was explaining this morning's freak out to my 15yo ds and he said "Fascinating." and walked away.

 

Non-traditional, non-textbook learning will serve your kids well. Just keep moving forward, keep reading aloud and enjoying the journey. And keep a bag of m&ms or other chocolate product you like handy!

[MelanieM]

I have been doing chocolate chip shooters today.

 

Ha!! Oh gosh, I so do this! Now I have a great name for my sanity-saving behaviour. :lol::lol::lol:

[Colleen in NS]

Just this morning I had a HUGE freak out just like yours.

 

:svengo: (actually, this is comforting to hear)

 

I was explaining this morning's freak out to my 15yo ds and he said "Fascinating." and walked away.

 

:lol: Did he raise his eyebrow, too? My son has done this a couple of times, too!!

 

krazzymommy, the English and math programs you have are solid. They will lead you quite nicely into upper levels of math/writing/grammar study.

[8filltheheart]

This is what I keep asking myself in regards to the subjects of English and math. I read about people supplementing, I read about people changing curricula. I think I really like the looks and what we've used so far of Singapore for math and FLL/WWE for English. However, I keep having this nagging feeling that they won't be enough. That I'll get to 3rd/4th grade and wish I had used my trusted Abeka textbooks. That I'll get really sick and my son will have to go to school and be years behind. If you've been there, afraid of going non-traditional, can you share about your homeschooling journey? I don't want to do a bunch of curriculum hopping. I've gotten my hands on most history/science curricula enough to know what I like the looks of. I'm not afraid if I have to switch those subjects in the future. I am afraid of switching math and English, though. I know there are a lot of people who don't care where their kids stand in relation to their public school peers, but I do. :( Anyone been there?

 

I didn't read the other replies, but I wanted to encourage you to simply follow whichever path that you enjoy teaching.

 

My homeschool in the younger yrs absolutely in no way resembles any school I have ever heard of! My kids are all doing great. By the time they are in about 4th or 5th grade, things start looking more traditional. By high school, there probably is little difference between our homeschool and a good classroom (except a lot less lecturing.)

 

If it makes you feel better, my kids aren't required to write a single independent thought until well into 3rd grade. I haven't had a single one end up not being able to write coherently!! There are multiple paths to the same end and many times the less traveled path is actually the better choice. (in more ways than just elementary school education!) ;)

[Guest]

You all have blessed me immensely with your kind words of wisdom. Thank you!!!

 

Now bring on the chocolate chips!!!

[Carol in Cal.]

We have used TWTM recommendations to a large extent, but not always at grade level--sometimes we have been behind them. We have NEVER completely done ALL of the subjects that they recommend. Never.

 

And yet DD has always done just fine on the state tests. This year she took the Catholic high school placement exam and scored around the 87th percentile nationwide. They offered her 4 honors classes for next year due to her test performance.

 

This stuff really does work. And it leaves your child with the time to develop their special interests and talents, too--a nice bonus! Don't worry.

[everlastingstarflower]

My dd was in a very rigorous Classical Christian Academy. For various reasons, we decided to take her out and hs both her and my ds last year. It was our first year hs-ing and thankfully, we all came out on the other end gloriously. But, I still have this BIG, I mean HUGE, hang-up about trying to keep pace with what the school is providing for the students there.....just in case hs-ing becomes a total flop and we decide to put our dc back in the school.

 

I have a friend who was in the same boat. Her oldest will be in 6th grade in the fall and she said that this year she finally decided to stop trying to keep up with the school. (I think that having baby #4 on the way helped her come to that conlusion.)

 

Anyway, I called a friend....a very wise friend, who also homeschools explaining my feelings about messing up my dc's education for all of the "stuff" that I might be missing or not giving to them and this is what she said, "God has already determined what it is that your dc need for their futures. He knows that one might be a history major and one might be an english major (or whatever). God will give you the ability to give to your dcs exactly what they need for their future. Maybe they don't need to be exceptionally gifted in Math (that's my weakest area) for the thing that God is calling them to do but, they do need ______ (fill in the blank) and that is the very thing that you are already giving to your dcs. So in the end God will provide for your children exactly what they need when they need it for the plan that He has for their lives."

 

Wow, what a mind-blower. It really helped me to put things into perspective. Do I still freak out? Absolutely. I'm human. ;) But, then I think about what my friend said and I try just to do my best, pray and ask God to give me the grace to not worry so much after that.