X post hsing friends going to school...

[KarenC]

We've lost several homeschooling friends to public school as my dds have gotten older.

 

How do you decide in your family where your children will be educated in middle and high school? How much choice do your dc get in the matter? What criteria do you use to make your decision?

 

I'm curious how this is handled in other families.

 

 

Karen

[4wildberrys]

This is really a tough part of homeschooling----but you really need to decide 'why' you are homeschooling and then if the social aspects of public school will trump your other reasons. My kids are basically down to 'zero' friends homeschooling, but our reasons why we homeschool definitely outweight the possibility that they could make more friends in public school, because they might be misfits there too! If your reasons are faith based and/or academic----that won't be supported in your average public school. There have been VERY few homeschoolers here that have made a successful transition to public school---meaning the negative influences won out over the positive even though I think a lot of the parents didn't even know their kids were drinking etc. In a better school district full of involved, caring parents---the experience could be different. Do you have a community college close? CC is a MUCH better option for outsourcing classes since you don't have the whole Teenage Peer Pressure Social Scene going on like if you only have the choice of a high school.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Well, I think it depends on why a family is homeschooling, what their educational philosophy is, etc. KWIM? Public school does not mesh with our educational philosophy. Our plan has always been to homeschool through high school. I can't think of anything at this time that would change our plans but I've learned to never say never;) There are many options in our area for parents who don't feel competent teaching high school subjects (BIOLA has a program for homeschoolers, co-ops, etc), the ISP we belong to is associated with a private school where our children can take classes (pro-rated tuition), etc.

 

How much say my children would have would depend on their reasons for what they are wanting. I don't think children should have full say in deciding where they go to school but would consider their opinions if they were based on sound reasoning. I want to go to ps (or private school) to be with my friends would not be sound reasoning, in my opinion. I want to take science at a private school/co-op/cc because I want to be able to do labs with other students would be sound reasoning, etc. I think kids should have some say but don't always know what is best so they shouldn't have full say. Does that make sense?

[Sunshine State Sue]

How do you decide in your family where your children will be educated in middle and high school? How much choice do your dc get in the matter? What criteria do you use to make your decision?

 

Middle school was not really an option. They are miserable here. I think it is the age of the inmates. ;) Ds had a taste of PS as he was on the basketball team in 7th and 8th grade. That's all the exposure he wants, thank you very much.

 

My main reason for hs'ing is/was academics. PS here just doesn't cut it. Had ds wanted to try high school, we would have tried private school. Fortunately for us, CC is FREE here 10th-12th grade. That's what most of the hs'ers do.

 

We know 13 who will be in high school next year (2 are trying to go to school). It is not a close group unfortunately. I am discussing the possibility with another mom of organizing a Youth in Government group, partially to bring them together on a regular basis.

 

For us, it boiled down to ds's desire to stay home (why be imprisoned 6hrs/day 5days/wk with homework to boot), the availability of CC, and a few hs'ed teens. If it had been left completely up to me, we would not be hs'ing high school. I'm tired (I work 30hrs/wk from home), I'm not confident of my teaching abilities for most high school subjects, he's hormonal and unpleasant most of the time. Our compromise is more outsourced classes next year.

 

What kids of academics are available in your schools? What kind of social group is available to your dc? Do your dc understand the positive and negative of school?

[Kareni]

How do you decide in your family where your children will be educated in middle and high school? How much choice do your dc get in the matter? What criteria do you use to make your decision?

 

 

We began homeschooling in 7th grade when my daughter asked not to return to her 6th grade school. (This was no reflection on the school but rather the hour long commute each way.) We gave her the choice of attending the local middle school or of homeschooling and taking some classes at a homeschooling resource center. We had her shadow a middle school student for a full day, and she also visited the resource center. She elected to homeschool.

 

In subsequent years, she had free choice. Prior to ninth grade, she visited the local high school and sat in on a couple of classes, took a tour, etc. Prior to 10th grade, she attended an information session for a newly opening charter arts academy. In each case, she continued to choose homeschooling. I will admit that the resource center played a large part in her decision -- initially due to fun offerings such as fencing and ice skating but ultimately due to the fact that she fell in love with Latin which she took there for five years.

 

Here's a thread that addressed the same topic: Do you let your child decide whether to go to high school?

 

 

Regards,

Kareni

[choirfarm]

It is a family decision. To be honest, I never thought I would be doing this. Here in Texas, it is REALLY hard to re-enter high school. They don't have to grant you credits and can make you retake classes. So basically I told my children that we will sit down before high school and decide, but once the decision has been made, that's it. They can't change their mind. My oldest wanted to stay home. My middle child will be 8th grade next year and has always said he couldn't wait to go back to ps. (Pulled him out after 1st grade) However, he thinks he has changed his mind. He has lots of friends as opposed to my oldest who has noe. I think I may make him go to school next year with a friend who will be a 9th grader next year and is in honors classes. I want him to see what it is like. To be honest, he seems to need some kind of activites to keep him busy. He isn't a geek compared to my oldest. He is smart, but he is much more active. I think all of the athletics and activities might be good for him, but I don't know. We'll pray as a family and make a decision. He and I but heads; although our relationship has gotten better over the last month.

 

Christine

[Lizzie in Ma]

For our family, our reasons were many and diverse and remain unchanged. Primarily we wanted our children to be raised and taught by ourselves as they were gifts from God to us. Secondarily we believe that a classical education taught by us is far superior to what they would have received in the local public schools. Other reasons were that our kids have gifts and strengths that would go unfostered in public schools. Later on, when our oldest became ill we were even more thankful to be homeschooling and to be able to work around her illness and allow time for her to heal.

 

Our children have never been given the option to choose otherwise.

We don't believe it is up to our children make that kind of decision for themselves and knowing ps is not an option makes it easier for us all to commit to and work through any issues we may have. (private schools are well beyond our means)

 

That having been said, we do occasionally, especially as they get older, engage them in decisions regarding their curricula.

 

Committing to homeschooling all the way is not an easy choice nor is it an easy lifestyle but it is what we have chosen to do.

It may not and does not work for everyone and I wholeheartedly respect people who have made other decisions.

[TravelingChris]

My children have had the choice and all have chosen homeschooling. This includes my two introverts and one extrovert. They love the freedom of homeschooling and didn't want to give that up.

[krstbrwn]

I have one daughter who would go to school at the drop of a hat; she's my social butterfly. She never meets a stranger. My other two children have no desire to go to school; they are quite happy homeschooling.

It's never been their choice. Around here, the school system can be dangerous physically and socially. I've seen so many homeschoolers put their kids in highschool, and they succumb to the pressures. Also, academically, I think we provide more opportunities for them to explore and excell in areas in which they are gifted.

My oldest daughter, who loves people, is in the Teen Theater. I also plan to enroll her in dual credit and community college courses. I agree with what was said about less pressure at the college level.

I just do a lot of soul searching, and try to make the best decisions for MY kids, and I try to respect and understand the choices others make for theirs.

Kristi

[Jeannie in NJ]

my dd, who had never been to school, went this year in 9th grade. She went to a vo-tech high school. She did great with academics and made quite a few friends. She had no problems with the other students, the teachers loved her but she just did not like school. She went there for baking and cake decorating. She spent some time visiting the 12th grade classes and she has already been doing the baking at home that the seniors were just learning so she couldn't see going there for 3 more years . So she wants to go to cc for dual enrollment and then start at the local culinary school when she turns 18 (the min. age for the culinary school). she will have all her academic classes already completed by then. We are letting her take charge (along with me, or course) of most of her education.)

 

My son is in 6th grade and is in his 2nd year of a special education program at the local middle school. The school is small, ds's class has 9 students, the teacher and 4 aides. He has had the same special ed. teacher for the 2 years. The program is wonderful and my son loves it there. Some days, he even eats lunch with the principal and the ladies in the office just because he enjoys their company (he has always enjoyed the company of adults). Anyway, he has 2 more years in this school. THe high school is much larger and it has kids from other towns going there. only 20% of the students at the high school come from the middle school that ds goes to. I am not sure what will happen with ds for high school. Our main concern is that he be comfortable and happy in whatever school situation he is in, be in public or home.

 

So, I guess that we do let our dc have a voice in school choices., but we still go with what is best for them. We would not let my son stay in a school that was not safe and comfortable for him

[AngelaNYC]

My kids make the choice whether to stay at home or go to school.

 

Dd (16) had always been in school, homeschooled for 8th grade, and then went to high school.

 

Dd (13) homeschooled since 3rd grade, is now in 8th grade and chose to go to high school in September.

 

Ds (9) homeschooled since Kindergarten, is now in 3rd grade, and he's leaning toward public (or Catholic) high school. He has no interest in either elementary or middle school.

 

We're lucky here in NYC that we have tons of school choice. The girls are going to high schools that focus on their interests. I have researched schools to death and I'm very pleased with the quality of the ones they've chosen. Older dd goes to a journalism preparatory school and younger dd will be going to a prestigious performing arts high school (for dance) on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Ds? Who knows. His interests right now range from creative/fine arts to football to biology. If he chooses to go to high school in 5 years, he'll try out for the ones that focus on what he loves. If he chooses to stay home, I'm prepared. :001_smile: