Looking for thoughts, opionions, advice on providing childcare for neighbor

[Country Girl]

To my total surprise, my neighbors approached me tonight and asked if I'd be willing to watch their baby once he/she is born in Sept. I've never really considered doing anything like this before so I'm a bit thrown off guard and unsure where to even begin to evaluate the situation.

 

I've talked to dh about it and he is completely supportive if I want to do it. The biggest pro to me is that it would give me a chance to really display love to my neighbors. I know that they will be terrific parents and very committed to their family but I also know that both need to work and they are concerned about leaving their baby with a large childcare facility. This would give me an opportunity to really show them that we love them and care about them.

 

However, to be honest, I'm a little scared how it will affect our family, days off with my husband, potential activities with my kids etc. I'm selfish and I like our freedom, control of our own days, etc. I know that this would change because I would be committing to them. We couldn't just take off and go somewhere whenever we wanted.

 

Thankfully, the money isn't really an issue. I'd be lying if I said the extra money wouldn't be nice but it isn't something we really need. Instead, it would just help provide for extras (and most likely I'd just splurge more on curriculum:D).

 

So, anyone have any thoughts, things I need to think about, advice, etc?

 

Thanks!

[Leanna Tomlinson]

I think making a long term commitment, when the financial need is not there, would cramp my style. If it were me, I would offer to watch the baby from 6wks through Christmas. This gives the couple time to have their newborn in a safe place, get used to parenting, and get adjusted to their new schedules. (And you get time to snuggle a quiet little newborn,:))

 

After that, if things are going well, you can extend the time frame, but you can also bow out gracefully if the extra demands are affecting your family and homeschool too much. A little one changes a lot in a year....

 

You could also offer to be the "back-up" in case another child-care outlet fails. That way they don't feel desperate.

 

Snuggling a baby and showing love to my neighbors would be a real pull....

But OTOH, I know what older, active babies can do to a school day....

Give yourself a way out.

 

Blessings,

Leanna

[Classicalmomto4]

I just recently did this for someone that was a casual acquaintance. It was not something I would do again.

 

The schedule was difficult and affected my flexibility. I was taking care of an older child, so that made it different than your situation, but I definitely could no longer end school early and run an errand.

 

I found that this individual had different expectations that were not discussed thoroughly ahead of time. I would suggest you ask everything you can think of. What kind of notice will they need if you plan to take a day off? What do they expect you to do with the baby? Who will provide food? What if there is an emergency? What if you are sick? What if the baby is sick? Can you take the baby in the car with you if you need to go on a field trip, errand, etc.? What if they are late?

 

Also, you may want to check into childcare licensing requirements in your state.

 

I hope that helps!

[secular_mom]

Don't do it. Taking care of another person's infant is so very much different than taking care of your own. I don't know the ages of your children, but a baby can throw lots of wrenches into the gear of a 'typical' homeschooling day. If you don't need the money, then just say no.

[SonshineLearner]

I think that 3- 4 months at a time is a good commitment. Kinda talk about how you see taking care of babies. Chances are, they're asking you because they've seen you parent. Even things like..."are you planning to nurse?" are you ok that I feed babies determined by their desire? (or, are you ok that I try to schedule babies?" whichever way you go...) Are you striving for "sleeping schedules"? are you ok with having me put them to bed at set times, but with flexibility? Ect... everything you feel like it should go one way... you should ask how they see it going... Are you ok with pacis? ( I mean... I'm crazy, but I LOVE pacis...) I also wear my babies a lot....

 

Just ask lots of questions... make notes... agree. The only think I can see... is if you don't agree ahead of time.. there could be problems. Remember... the closer you are to someone... means that you should closely write EVERYTHING down, so there are no disagreements.... Also, take pay a month ahead.... because... that's a good business way to do it...

 

:)

[mtollie]

I've been taking care of a neighbor's baby this school year, but only on Fridays. I am definitely glad I did not make a full-time committment, just because it definitely can affect your schooling. We're tied down by the baby's nap schedule and just don't get as much done when she's here. Now luckily we're just doing K this year, so an unproductive day is not such a big deal. I'm trying to decide about next year now, especially since the baby is getting way more active!

 

I second what others have said though - make a short-term committment so you have a way out if it doesn't work. Also, short-term may be a good solution for everyone. I know my neighbor didn't want to put her 2mo in day care, but now that's she's almost a year, they probably wouldn't mind so much. So you make a little extra money for 6-12 months, show your neighbors love and know it's not forever. For me, one day a week has been just enough!

 

I would also say to think about how independantly your kids can work on their schooling. With my little ones, I still need to be right there most of the time. If I stopped to feed the baby, put her down, etc., all work stopped! If your older kids can keep on working while you take care of something for 15 minutes, it may not be such a big deal. Oh and definitely make sure the parents are OK with you driving with the baby, so you're not stuck at home all day...

 

HTH!

[Desert Rat]

I like Leanna's idea of a trial period. I recently watched a newborn and it was super difficult for me. Most of the problem was that the mom was very young and the dad was still in high school. There were custody issues and eventually the mom found someone to watch her for free (*gulp*) so she left my care. I wasn't sad to see her go. It was hard to have her full time and I had a hard time getting her to get me things I needed like formula and a car seat. I was able to take the baby with us on outings IF I planned ahead of time and got the car seat. The original agreement was that I would have my own.

So, first step, check your local laws. Here I can have 4 children in my home besides my own before I need a license. Step 2 is to draw up a contract of sorts with rules you both agree upon. Step 3 is to make sure you can follow through and be firm with those rules if something is bothering you. I had problems with the last one because I didn't want to be a bad guy.

The worst part was how much my little one missed the baby when she left.

HTH and good luck!

[Sophia]

I did this for my neighbor from the time the baby was 7 weeks old to 14 months.

I only stopped because my neighbor left her husband.

 

My initial condition was that the baby had to fold into my life, not vice-versa.

She went everywhere with us. Her parents provided all food, diapers, and I also warned them we travel frequently in the warm weather and alternate care would need to be found for that time.

 

It was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be, but then, I do have older girls who adored her and helped a lot with the baby.

[Rosie_0801]

However, to be honest, I'm a little scared how it will affect our family, days off with my husband, potential activities with my kids etc. I'm selfish and I like our freedom, control of our own days, etc. I know that this would change because I would be committing to them. We couldn't just take off and go somewhere whenever we wanted.

 

 

There's nothing selfish about living your own life, raising your own kids.

 

Rosie

[Country Girl]

Thank you everyone! You have all given me some really great advice and good things to think about. I think I was pretty much all ready to jump into this with rosie colored glasses, forgetting about the reality of watching someone else's newborn. I think I was imagining it would be like watching my own baby and I could do what I want and how I want. I hadn't even thought that they may not feel comfortable with me driving places with the baby, which would be a definite deal breaker for me.

 

The suggestion to offer a short-term commitment is a good one. I also like the idea of being back-up. Those are a few other good options for me to consider.

 

There's nothing selfish about living your own life, raising your own kids.

 

Rosie

[/Quote]

 

Thanks for the reminder Rosie. I know you are right and my kids and family are my first priority. I'm a people pleaser and I'm trying to learn not to feel badly when I put my own family first, even if it means disappointing someone else.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I absolutely LOVED adding a baby to our family (and it really is doing so). Though we haven't seen him in a bit now, he so still holds a place in our hearts. We loved him dearly. His mom went back to school when he was 3 weeks old and back to work at 5 or 6 weeks so we had him a LOT. She was a WONDERFUL mom. Absolutely wonderful.

 

We had no issues with folding him into our family. He went with us everywhere. We probably DID change a thing or two, I'm sure, but it wasn't stifling in the slightest.

 

Anyway, *I* wouldn't hesitate to do it as long as I really believed they would be great parents and there weren't any HUGE issues I disagreed with.

 

I do highly suggest not continuing to add MORE children though. D was actually the second child we added. That was fine. But past that got difficult in terms of freedom and I'm glad it was short-lived though I felt capable of homeschooling and doing childcare. Soon after having the stroke, I had only D and absolutely loved it. If I could do it over, somehow, I'd JUST have D...

Edited March 22, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Joyfullyblessed]

Hello,

 

Just be careful about taking a neighbor's child. Remember, you live next to one another and if they don't like or agree with something that you do, it may cause an awkwardness between you guys. Hopefully not, but it may be something to consider.

 

I have an in-home childcare business and really don't keep neighbor children. My mom is in home childcare too and kept some neighbor's children. They tended to take more advantage of her because they were right next door. Things like showing up later than they should, expecting more than other parents would get, etc.... It all worked out, but was frustrating at times for my mom.

 

If you do it, please really consider it short term only. Especially if you don't really need the money.

 

Unfortunately, we NEED the money and I have to do the childcare. I have a great routine right now with my kids & do enjoy them most days, but it does provide for many distractions while homeschooling, plus I tend to feel a little trapped at times. I don't cart the kids around everywhere I go. It is just too much of a hassle to get them all in the car and keep up with them (when I have all of them).

 

We do play outside here, so that provides a little freedom and fresh air for me and the children. : )

 

Also, make sure you have some sort of contract or policies written up for them. I have everything written into my policies (hours, late fees, returned check fees, sick days, vacation days, etc...). If you do decide to do this on a full time basis, you will find that having these policies in place from the beginning will save you a lot of headaches. Oh, and make sure they have a backup sitter for any time that you may take off.

 

If I didn't have to bring in some type of monthly income for our family, I would not do childcare as it is not my dream job. Parents can really be very picky... I have had many that did not want me driving their children anywhere and I even had one couple that didn't want their child to play with any toys that other children played with for fear of germs (I didn't keep this child). :001_smile:

 

Anyway, good luck with your decision. I would pray about it and see if it is really something that you feel you should do at this time of your life.

 

Have a great day!

[Country Girl]

I absolutely LOVED adding a baby to our family (and it really is doing so). Though we haven't seen him in a bit now, he so still holds a place in our hearts. We loved him dearly. His mom went back to school when he was 3 weeks old and back to work at 5 or 6 weeks so we had him a LOT. She was a WONDERFUL mom. Absolutely wonderful.

 

We had no issues with folding him into our family. He went with us everywhere. We probably DID change a thing or two, I'm sure, but it wasn't stifling in the slightest.

 

Anyway, *I* wouldn't hesitate to do it as long as I really believed they would be great parents and there weren't any HUGE issues I disagreed with.

 

I do highly suggest not continuing to add MORE children though. D was actually the second child we added. That was fine. But past that got difficult in terms of freedom and I'm glad it was short-lived though I felt capable of homeschooling and doing childcare. Soon after having the stroke, I had only D and absolutely loved it. If I could do it over, somehow, I'd JUST have D...

 

Thanks for your input Pamela. I have to admit, the other posts have really got me having second thoughts but it is nice to see an experience that was positive.

[Country Girl]

Hello,

 

Just be careful about taking a neighbor's child. Remember, you live next to one another and if they don't like or agree with something that you do, it may cause an awkwardness between you guys. Hopefully not, but it may be something to consider.

 

I have an in-home childcare business and really don't keep neighbor children. My mom is in home childcare too and kept some neighbor's children. They tended to take more advantage of her because they were right next door. Things like showing up later than they should, expecting more than other parents would get, etc.... It all worked out, but was frustrating at times for my mom.

 

If you do it, please really consider it short term only. Especially if you don't really need the money.

 

Unfortunately, we NEED the money and I have to do the childcare. I have a great routine right now with my kids & do enjoy them most days, but it does provide for many distractions while homeschooling, plus I tend to feel a little trapped at times. I don't cart the kids around everywhere I go. It is just too much of a hassle to get them all in the car and keep up with them (when I have all of them).

 

We do play outside here, so that provides a little freedom and fresh air for me and the children. : )

 

Also, make sure you have some sort of contract or policies written up for them. I have everything written into my policies (hours, late fees, returned check fees, sick days, vacation days, etc...). If you do decide to do this on a full time basis, you will find that having these policies in place from the beginning will save you a lot of headaches. Oh, and make sure they have a backup sitter for any time that you may take off.

 

If I didn't have to bring in some type of monthly income for our family, I would not do childcare as it is not my dream job. Parents can really be very picky... I have had many that did not want me driving their children anywhere and I even had one couple that didn't want their child to play with any toys that other children played with for fear of germs (I didn't keep this child). :001_smile:

 

Anyway, good luck with your decision. I would pray about it and see if it is really something that you feel you should do at this time of your life.

 

Have a great day!

 

Joyfullyblessed~Thanks for your thoughts. Yep, definitely doing some praying over this one! I appreciate the thoughts you had regarding watching a neighbor's child as being a bit of a unique case.

 

Thanks!

[duckens]

I also do daycare here.

 

1)Be sure to also mandate how quickly the parents must respond if you telephone them. You shouldn't have to do this, but with some parents, you do.

 

The father of C3 dropped him off last week. C3 had been complaining of his leg hurting. The dad said I should call him if anything changed (of course). A few hours later when his son was limping, I telephoned, but had no answer......for the rest of the day. He had been busy with a booty call.

 

2)Make sure that you are paid in advance. Same family is $800+ in arrears to me. I blame myself for letting it get this bad, and the goal right now is to keep them from getting any further behind while waiting for their tax return.

 

3)Make it clear your expectations if they are running late. Same family: I expect C3 after 9am. Sometimes he comes at 8:30, sometimes he comes at 7:30, sometimes he comes at 9:45. I want to be flexible and supportive of the family's different work situations, but it is not unreasonable to know in advance. (Mom, dad, and grandma are all on different schedules from one day to the next). After all, I have to plan my day and my daughter's day, too.

 

Then last Wednesday, the dad got flaky again. On Wednesdays, I only have my own daughter and C3 to care for.

 

So: 9am: no C3. That's okay.

 

9:30: no C3, but Dad calls to say they will come at 10:30.

 

10:30: no C3.

 

10:40: no C3.

 

10:50: no C3.

 

11am: no C3, so I telephone the dad. "Uh.....oh....uh......sorry." (He had obviously fallen back asleep).

"When will you be here?"

"Uh....15minutes."

 

At 11:17am, dd and I left to go to the zoo. If they are not going to show up in a timely manner, I will make other plans for the day. I am committed to being here when my parents need me, but I am not going to sit around waiting for them while they are not polite enough to be on time.

 

Thanks for letting me rant.

--Laura in Iowa

 

P.S. This is my last year doing daycare!!! :001_smile::001_smile::001_smile::001_smile::001_smile: